What does it mean to live simply... but not be lazy, waste time, or never challenge yourself?
I guess that depends on my idea of what it means to "live simply." I'd say... or rather, the dictionary says... simple: uncomplicated, modest, not ornate or luxurious, not elaborate or artificial. Those are all things that I want to describe my life. [Can life really be uncomplicated?! Yes, that's what I want!] Is it possible to live simply? Maybe not all of the time, but is it possible for "simple" to be characteristic of how you live in general? SHOULD it be?
I think I'm being faced with that ambiguous and wordy question. If you read this blog fairly regularly, then that question makes perfect sense right about now! The first half of the semester was FULL. That's saying a lot coming from me because I generally LIKE "full" - but this kind of full, for whatever reason, turned out to be a little more harsh than I'm used to. I had to cut back. But, surprisingly, even after I cut back in my schedule/responsibilities, I still felt overwhelmed and exhausted and lethargic and emotional. Finding no clear reason why I felt this way, I went to the doctor. This is also saying a lot coming from me because I RARELY go to the doctor! I just felt like something was "off" - some kind of vitamin deficiency, like anemia, or maybe something with my thyroid. Well, it turned out to be nothing. The results came back normal, which is what I was afraid of. I knew that if they came back normal, that would mean this is how I am naturally dealing with stress (which is not okay) and I would feel like a crazy-person! I know that I'm not a crazy-person, but clearly SOMETHING needs to change. I'm keeping a journal to record how much I eat, sleep, exercise and drink water. That way I can ensure that I'm following through with all of the "basics."
Even after all that, though, there still is the question of what more do I need to stop doing? I want to be healthy and take care of myself, but I still feel like I don't have enough time to do so. I am focusing on so many different things right now that I don't feel like I'm doing WELL in any of them. I need to choose what are my TOP priorities - only a few, not 10 - and focus on those.
I'm used to being heavily involved in pretty much everything. Ever since middle school I have always been very busy. Up until now, I would tell you that I thrived off of having a full schedule. Now, all I want is to rest.
Robbie - my old youth pastor - told me yesterday to do what I love and say no to everything else. It is OKAY to not be involved in 25 extra things... and work 27 hrs/week... and go to school full time. I don't know why I feel the need to fill up my life with so much!
How does GOD want me to spend my time right now? This is a significant question, because it's easy to get wrapped up in how I think everyone ELSE thinks I should spend my time. I don't live to please other people. (at least, I'm not supposed to...)
WELL. Those are my mixed up thoughts. I'd love some feedback. :)
Mostly, I'd just love some prayer. I want to be who God wants me to be and that may look different than the image of "success" that I create on my own.
Good stuff. It is definitely difficult trying to do less when you are so used to going, going, going. But it can be really good, too.
ReplyDeleteAfter five years working in FT ministry in Texas, I spent the next 6 months feeling guilty for not doing more and being busy all the time. I started asking myself what I want to do so I could follow that advice that Robbie gave you myself. What I realized was that I'd been distracted being so busy for so long that I didn't even know what I wanted for myself. Yikes. Because of that, I've spent the last year or so intentionally uninvolved and really seeking God. I've learned so much about myself in this time that it's unreal.
All that to say, it's brought me to a point where "success" has been completely redefined for me (daily) - even if that looks odd to others. I think it's just a matter of figuring out what is important to you and focusing on that.
I'll keep you in prayer! Busy schedules are hard. I've been having the opposite problem lately... too much time and nothing to do. But, I think it's been good for me. My tendency is to put my worth in what I can accomplish in a day rather than who I am in Christ. So, having nothing to do has made me look at that. Even if it has been frustrating at times. Learning to say no to things has definitely been a struggle for me in the past though. But I've learned to slow down at least a little. It's okay to skip things once in awhile or drop something because it stresses you out. I would definitely take Robbie's advice! You need to take care of yourself! No one is going to think less of you if you do so. I know that sounds obvious but sometimes we need to hear them from someone else! I hope you start feeling better soon :) love you!
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