"The Unexpected In-Between"

My roommate, Heather, and I both read this book a few times last year called Now and Not Yet, by Jennifer Marshall. It was written specifically to "make sense of single life in the 21st century," but the message definitely pertains to contentment in ALL areas of life. I just pulled this book off my shelf because I think I'm going to read it again. I'm sensing a return of this troublesome mindset that "my life doesn't start until I've graduated from college, married, secure with a steady income, etc. Somehow, once all of that happens, I've attained what I needed and THEN life can go on. Right now just is a jumbled mess of trying to reach that point." That is FAR from the truth.

After a lousy attempt at writing my thoughts down last night, (I just couldn't seem to capture them! So I gave up...) I went to sleep just feeling this restlessness. I wasn't really able to pinpoint the root or come up with a solution. (see how my mind works? I need the cause and effect.) I suppose I just needed to sleep on it because this morning I journaled and it all came out fairly clearly! Discontentment. I feel like I'm in this season (hopefully short) where I don't understand a whole lot and I'm just waiting on the Lord... for a lot. It's probably because of my tendancy to try and figure everything out and have a solution and plan and schedule and everything else... this season causes me to seek HIS Face and rely solely on the Lord. Solely. Nothing else. Undivided devotion. Complete Dependence.

I don't want to live the way the world lives. I want to be set apart... made NEW. That means I don't need to focus on the same things the world focuses on. I will live above reproach and not just meet the standard of going to school and working to make money. I need to remember to find JOY in the little things... God has blessed me abundantly, and I don't want to miss out on that. I need to remember that God can and will use me, if my heart is soft and teachable. I also need to remember that I am accountable to Him - if there is something else that He wants me to do or focus on in this season, then He will reveal it. I am responsible to simply walk in obedience everyday and TRUST Him fully. I need to stop getting so caught up in "what am I supposed to do and what does this mean and what is my LIFE supposed to look like" and just trust.