Steadfastness:

The narrow road to learning how to trust the Lord in ALL things, everyday, no matter what.

I just finished reading one of my favorite books by one of my favorite authors... for about the 7th time. :) Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliott. This book is all about learning to trust. Patience, steadfastness, surrender. Turning loneliness into a tangible offering to God and allowing Him to change your heart from one of bitterness and self-pity to one of pure joy and contentment in HIM.

"Patient waiting [...] is an important discipline for anyone who wants to learn to trust" (60).

Unfortunately, this just makes sense. If I wanted to take things into my own hands, then there would be no need to wait patiently, and I certainly would not have to learn to trust in the Lord. Also unfortunately, that model for life just does not work. My efforts to "work things out my own way" will end in vain every single time. I cannot do it on my own. (Sense a theme from the past few days? My life is not about ME or what I can do.)

So what does this mean for us? If I can't live life on my own and just find all the answers and figure everything out, then what is left for me to do? Well, we can either live forever striving or simply surrender. I don't say "simply" to imply that this choice is easy. The choice is not easy, nor are the actions that follow. Continuously choosing to surrender every moment of everyday... yeah, that is definitely not easy. Especially when the enemy tempts you with other options that, in the moment, appear to be better/easier. That way certainly may be more comfortable, but where does a life of comfort and ease lead? Definitely not to great impact for the Kingdom of God, that's for sure.

Learning to trust God requires a "patient waiting." Have you seen this to be true in your own life? Definitely is true in mine. I am one who wants to have everything figured out and outline exactly what my life is "supposed" to look like. Surrendering the desire to KNOW these things is extremely difficult and takes patient waiting. Waiting on HIS timing. Waiting for HIS best plan. Waiting for understanding. Waiting for direction. The act of waiting is surrender in itself in that we choose to defer [or "put off"] our own desires and yield to His. I don't want to just "go my own way" ... I want to confidently walk in His. Sometimes that means a season of waiting. Sometimes that season is long. But is it worth it? Most definitely. 

S.D. Gordon, Quiet Talks on Prayer
"Steadfastness, that is holding on;
patience, that is holding back;
expectancy, that is holding the face up;
obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do;
listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear.

How long Lord must I wait?
Nevermind, child. Trust me" (end of chapter 12, Passion and Purity).

Loved worshipping this morning at church... spending the rest of the afternoon reading, writing, enjoying the sun, bike riding, hiking... all of the things I said I would choose to enjoy in this season! I will take my thoughts captive and NOT allow the enemy to steal my joy!

"The decisions we make today either hinder or help the decisions we've already made." -- Paul Hatfield, The Pursuit

Do my thoughts/actions/current decisions line up with the decisions that I have already made and/or things that I have already been convicted of?

Am I living out truth daily or just claiming to?

How am I diligently guarding my heart against the lies of the enemy or temptations of this world?

Just some things to think on today. Happy Sunday! :)

Hunger for the Word

Last Sunday my Pastor, Paul, preached the second sermon in a series called "Unhindered."

[Check out the podcast HERE - I recommend it! The Pursuit Podcast]

One quote that has stayed with me is this: "The things of the world diminish as we consume the word of God."

I love that! There is so much truth to pull from it this single statement. First, the things of this world: It is so easy to get caught up in the race of success, achievement, status, consumerism, etc, etc. That list could go on, obviously. There are so many things of this world that people use to search for peace and contentment. Do they really find it? No. Contentment in these things of the world, whether it is actually "stuff" or just acquiring the image of a successful person, is only temporary. These things do not last. [See Matthew 6:19-21, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be."] The things of the world will fall away. They are meaningless, in light of eternity.

The more you surround yourself with people who crave things of the world (stuff or status), or watch media that encourages this craving, or dwell on thoughts that cause you to desire these things... the things of the world become greater and the Word of God becomes less significant. Or maybe not even an important factor at all. [John 3:30, "He must become greater; I must become less." Luke 9:23-25, "Then he [Jesus] said to them all: 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?'"]

BUT, as we consume [take in, devour, hunger for] the Word of God [Truth found in the Bible and listening, patiently to His voice of peace, comfort, challenge and conviction.] the things of the world diminish [fall away, become insignificant, lose importance].

We can choose what we crave by being disciplined in what we intentionally put in our lives. If I only buy junk food and every time I walk into the kitchen I see ice cream, brownies and cake, then those are probably the things I will crave. But if I intentionally buy healthy fruits and vegetables - those are the things I see when I come into the kitchen; those are my food options for the day - I will start to crave those things because I see the positive impact they have on my body. (I feel better when I eat healthy food verses junk. There is a difference.) It is the same way with the Word of God... if I am disciplined in starting my morning off in the Word and reading scripture and praying for God's grace and truth to cover my day, I will start to see the positive effects of that and begin to CRAVE His Word all throughout the day.

And as I crave His Word more and more, the other things of the world (the STUFF and the STATUS) no longer mean anything to me; all I want is HIM.

What do you CRAVE?

"He will quiet you with His love..."

Anybody else ever need their heart to be "quieted"? I'm not sure that's even a word... in fact, it's not. So I'll define it for you: quieted - the act of calming; bringing peace and restoration; bringing into submission something that has revolted. :) A little extreme, maybe. But I think you get the idea. There are countless times in a single day that my heart needs to be  made calm, peaceful, restored in truth, submissive to the Holy Spirit, and none of that is not of my own doing. I can not quiet my own heart. Usually all I do is go in circles and work myself up even more. The only way to truly quiet my heart is to rest in His love. My favorite song by Audrey Assad says "I'm restless until I rest in You." Even that word that I think I made up, "quieted," implies that I am not the one doing the quieting. (just made up another word... I'm on a roll) It is an active word. Something has to happen. It's not just about telling my heart to "be quiet" - it's likely a process. One of submission, surrender, giving up my assumed right to make my life the way I think it should be.

The only thing that brings me peace is resting in God. That may mean surrendering or giving up what I think I want or what I believe will bring me peace.

The truth of this verse brings my heart such comfort and peace this morning:

"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

My heart needs this. God is WITH me. God is MIGHTY to SAVE me. God delights in me. God quiets me with His LOVE. God REJOICES over me with singing.

[The same is true of all who believe in Jesus and confess that He is Lord. Claim this truth in your own life!]

This statement does not contain any kind of contingency; His love is not contingent on me in any way. Just like I can not quiet my own heart or bring restoration in my life; I am completely dependent on Him... not myself OR the opinions or views of people around me.

What someone else thinks of you or says about you is not who you really are. God delights in me no matter what I say or do; even when I don't measure up. He delights in me and rejoices over me and cherishes me even when others do not. His love is completely unconditional and in no way compares to the love of man.

When my heart aches as a result of my own sin or the sin of people around me, He pursues me still and quiets me with His love.

Summer is Here!

I am definitely a person of extremes... at least when it comes to weather. I either want a foot of snow or a hot, sunny day hiking in the foot hills. I think that summer is finally here to stay!

This is a very interesting season for me... I finished school last week (Praise the Lord! Feels so great to be done for a few months.). I don't work too much this time of year because the Dad of the kids I nanny is an NFL scout and their mom is a teacher; this means I have a few, random full days of hanging out with the kids and a quite a few EMPTY days that I don't know what to do with. My mission trip to Panama changed from June to July, so I have 6 weeks (today, exactly!) until I leave.... which seems like a loooong time with no school and hardly any work!

So, what am I supposed to do with myself and all this free time?!

I realized that I was yet again contemplating this dilemma the other day and it made me laugh. This is not a new phenomenon for me. I am either insanely busy because I love to have a full schedule and be productive and do a lot of things... or, all of those things end/change and I just don't know what to do with myself. I question the purpose of this season. But that's what makes me laugh; it is ONLY a season... and I struggle with these thoughts EVERY single time this season comes along.

There is PURPOSE in times of rest.... and that may just be to rest and slow down. Ah, imagine that. :)

My friend, Brooke, reminded me a couple of days ago that I need to enjoy this month and a half because it really is the "calm before the storm." I will be on my trip for 5 weeks and when I get back at the beginning of August it will be almost time for school to start, which means nannying almost 30 hrs/week, working with Campus Crusade consistently, new classes to get accustomed to, etc, etc. I tend to get overwhelmed in the fall, and don't really appreciate this gift of REST that I am currently in.

Because there is purpose in this time of rest, and I know that I am not just being lazy or avoiding responsibility, I will choose to enjoy it. :) Go for hikes, read on the porch swing, journal like crazy (which I do year 'round anyways), picnics at the park w/ the kiddos, sleep in, enjoy so much sweet time with Jesus, prepare for my trip to Panama, BBQs, blog, go for walks, and eat lots of frozen yogurt... all my favorite things. It's going to be wonderful.  

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
...He has made everything beautiful in HIS time..."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11a

Abundantly MORE than I could ask or imagine...

I have been completely blown away by God's provision in the past week. (My whole life, really, but specifically this week...) I love that He sees the comfort that my heart needs... and provides. He sees the money and supplies that I need tangibly for my trip to Panama or just life in general... and provides. He sees the truth that my mind needs... and provides. He sees the direction that my life needs.... and provides. In ALL things God provides, and I only lack in recognizing and acknowledging His abundant provision.

In the past week I have seen Him provide very tangibly in the BIG things and very intimately in the LITTLE (but not less important) things.

I cannot even use words to express the deep emotion that comes from an awareness of God's provision. It's almost like when someone leaves a bag of groceries on your doorstep and you wonder how they knew that your pantry was bare. God KNOWS, far more than I do, when my "pantry" is bare - i.e., my heart, mind, bank account, schedule, etc. He KNOWS... and I am so very grateful for that.

1. As I have mentioned, I'm preparing to co-lead a trip to Panama in a little over a month. I am THRILLED to have this opportunity and am completely confident that this is where God wants me this summer. What confirmation of that when God supplies the necessary funds before I even send out support letters! Um, hello!!!! It doesn't really get more awesome than that.

The best part is that there is NO way that I can claim any part of that miracle. There is absolutely no denying that God is at work in my life and it was ALL Him. Like I said, I didn't even send out support letters. I had them written, but decided to just make a few phone calls to family members first because I had 7 days to raise half my support. After a couple surprise donations and phone calls to my mom and grandparents... basically all of the money was in! I couldn't even believe it. I still have a little ways to go in raising support - I need a plane ticket from here to Texas for training - but I know that when the money comes in, it will not be because of something that I did, it will be because God moved in the hearts of people around me to support HIS Kingdom.

2. This example of His provision seems more subtle, but I am not at all less confident that it was Him working in my heart to renew my confidence in His faithfulness. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He hears my heart's cry, even when it seems to be barely a whispered plea.

Tuesday and Wednesday of this week were mostly full of checking off tasks on my to do list. I was starting to feel the lack of fulfillment in living like that for so long. (Not that two days is a long time; it just seemed to be wearing on me.) I had a fleeting thought/emotion yesterday of loneliness. I didn't think much of it, but I know it was there... and clearly, God did, too. Very suddenly my evening plans filled up with a dinner in Hyde Park with Lindsay, skype date #1 with Heather (friend from when I lived in Texas), skype date #2 with Taylor (friend from high school) and a few encouraging texts from my dear friend, Molly. By the end of the night I felt surrounded by godly, solid friendships -- what a blessing!

Sometimes I appreciate that I am so self-aware, because I can recognize a fleeting thought of loneliness.... and then recognize how God provided immediately a reminder of the relationships in my life.

It is incredibly important to recognize all of the ways that God provides everyday so we can look back at those times when life gets hard or our view of truth gets cloudy and we can remember His faithfulness. He does not change like shifting shadows. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He said that His plans for me (and YOU) are good... they are still good for me today... and they will even still be good for me tomorrow. We CAN trust in His promises because He never fails!