My sleeping habits have been WAY off this past week. I tried to go to sleep tonight, but just ended up with my head pounding, eyes wide open, and mind racing. So I think I'll write a bit. Not that I want to make it a habit to write in the middle of the night, but this is the second night in a row.
*Note: I'm currently listening to Casting Crown's amazing-wonderful-awesome Christmas album because it's some of the most relaxing music I own.
I registered for spring semester classes tonight. Next to math and pickles and shopping for jeans, registering for classes is one of my LEAST favorite things to do. I've only been ALLOWED to start registering since Thursday and already it was difficult to find a class that I wouldn't have to sit on the waiting list for. (fyi - as a melancholy personality, waiting lists scare me because they hinder me from setting a solid schedule and making sure everything fits together properly.) Jamie graciously helped me search for open classes that are relevant to my changing major (bless her - I know she was ready for bed like an hour before that). So I just enrolled in as many as I could find - 6 - and I can always drop one or two if I need to. By the way - as far as changing my major, I'm leaning towards Communications. But I'm still nervous about that decision, so it's not final yet.
Not only is that process frustrating... I'm just struggling. I'm struggling with comparing myself. Not to any particular person, just to what I think I "should" be doing. Really, at this rate I don't think I'll graduate before I'm 30! And if I'm supposed to be focusing so much on school, then I can hardly work, which means I hardly make any money, which means I'll live with the York's long enough to see Josiah go to elementary school. (he's not even two) Okay - I know that was a slight exaggeration, just trying to make a point. ;-)
Apparently, as you may have read in my previous post, I assume that at 22 I should have reached the epitome of excellence and success and devotion, with no hint of faltering. I'm sure everyone can read this with a little laugh - because you all know that I'm never going to be perfect and that's okay!
I need to take a deep breath. Think realistically. Set some goals. Enjoy life. Get my priorities straight. Daily depend on the Lord for His grace and mercy. Rest ASSURED in His unconditional love.
[Oh Lord, have I forgotten about your infinite love for me?! Help me to live IN Your love.]
Don't worry most people don't have it all figured out. I'm turning 23 this year and don't have a degree and am not currently in school because I don't know what I want to do. I, like you, often times feel like I should have it all figured out. I should be graduated by now and started my career. But, alas, that's not how it is. I just have to remember that God has a great plan for my life!
ReplyDeleteSo true, Christina! Thank you. :)
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