Endurance

A lot of what I learned in my three years at Teen Mania has to do with endurance. ESOAL. Ministry Placement. Having 5 roommates. Corporate. Running the 10k in the back forty... which was basically a second ESOAL. (just ask my roommate Michelle... we cried probably 1/3 of the time.) The fact is: I am NOT going to make emotional decisions and just QUIT. I learned the value of commitment and hard work; of relying on the Lord fully for strength that I could never muster up in my own power and simply... pushing on. Also - I know that as a wife and mother someday, there WILL be times that I feel burdened beyond what I can carry and I will FEEL like quitting... but quitting is not an option. I will HAVE to persevere and rely on the Lord. I will keep running the race set before me... and seek the face of God above all else. Decisions cannot be made based off of emotion, otherwise you will waver and change with the joys and difficulties of life. I am making the choice right NOW, to not give up.

I say all of that... but, goodness, it feels like this season of my life is all about endurance. Not giving up. Perseverance. I want to quit school because I'm so frustrated w/ figuring out a class schedule for next semester and the fact that I constantly owe them money. I enjoy my classes, but I hate all these silly logistical concerns. I'm still enduring through the loooong season of making friends... there has been progress, though, don't worry. (In fact, I'm hopefully going to meet up with a friend in between class and life group tonight! I'm at the point where I KNOW people, but I need to work on building depth in friendships, which takes time - as you all have reminded me) Building relationships takes perseverance; I've got to be intentional. They don't just happen. Even in my family I have to endure through difficult times. It's hard... but I know that I don't want to give up, even though I feel like doing what's easiest. This can be conveyed in different ways... but regardless, I want to make them a priority, even when it's complicated.

Romans 5:3-5
"[...] we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Endurance will always be a part of our lives. That's why we need Jesus. I need His strength to endure through times when I just don't know the right answer. When I feel like I can't make a decision, I need to be filled with His wisdom. And even when I just want to cry and hide... I will not give up.