Post Vacation Blues?

If you haven't noticed by the tone of my blog posts over the past week but I absolutely LOOOOVED this Thanksgiving vacation. It was restful, peaceful, and FUN! Jamie and I both agreed, though, that by yesterday morning we were definitely ready to be home. I had been away from home for 8 days by then, and well... there's just something nice about sleeping in your own bed and not living out of a duffel bag.

I was ready to come home: refreshed, energized, rested, and ready to tackle the last couple weeks of school! Now the quick decline of those emotions... As soon as we got home yesterday afternoon I hurried off to the grocery store, then hurried back for my weekly skype meeting with the wonderful Heather & Emily, then I attempted to work on my anthropology paper as my head began to throb... all of a sudden I was so tired, and my head hurt, and I couldn't focus on the paper that I planned on staying up late to finish... I know myself well enough to know when I hit that "brick wall" and just need to go to sleep. So I did.

I got PLENTY of sleep last night and when my alarm went off this morning I was NOT even slightly ready to get out of bed! So I didn't. :-) Thank goodness I had the option to sleep a little longer... then I got up and spent some much needed quality time with Jesus... and that's when it hit me:

The refreshment that I felt from that break, as awesome as it was, is only temporary and will come and go at the drop of a hat. It didn't take much to alter those emotions. I didn't understand why I felt so tired after resting for a full week! Jesus, on the other hand, refreshes my soul in the deepest parts and offers a LASTING refreshment that will overcome any "post vacation blues." His peace fills me so completely and survives through the darkest storm. It is not contingent on emotions or feelings or my surroundings. I love this simple revelation.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:19

"[...] those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength."

Isaiah 40:31

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you."

Isaiah 54:10

"You will KEEP in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

Isaiah 26:3

Anti Chick Flick -- What is LOVE?!

Tonight I watched a chick flick and almost felt disgusted. It wasn't because the man in love dies at the end. It wasn't because it was made however long ago and the style was definitely not current. It was because it was SO fake. I just wanted to say "Surely, it (love) does NOT happen like that." You don't meet someone and then 12.5 seconds later fall madly in love and get asked to go on a perfectly romantic date. That's just not reality. Why do you think there are so many men and women who quickly get bored in relationships... or disappointed... or disengaged? It's because we so often fill our minds with junk and try to imagine the fairytale-story book-chick flick kind of romance, and our own simply falls short.

I use the term "our own" loosely here, as I really have no idea. I may know that what I saw was not reality, but I can't tell you fully what "reality" is. I do know that relationships take work. They take time. They take purposeful, intentional communication. I don't want to have some whacky expectations of what I expect LOVE to be... I want a pure, honest, God honoring, respectful relationship that tops all of that mushy fakeness.

It's worth waiting for the REAL thing.

A Belated Thankful Thursday...

My friend mentioned last week that this week's "Thankful Thursday" blog post would be AWESOME because it is on Thanksgiving. Well, that boat has come and gone and now it's Friday. Well, really Friday is gone, too - it's 1:02am on Saturday now. Whew! What a week! You know those vacations where things just go by too fast and don't work out as planned and you end up more tired than relaxed? This week has been the OPPOSITE of that! I really cannot even express how absolutely wonderful this week of rest has been. First with a few days of peace and solitude and now with four days in McCall with a welcoming family, my own comfortable room, tasty food & treats, and mounds of snow. I know that the next two and a half weeks will require a lot of work to finish out the semester strong w/ 3 papers and multiple tests... but I am incredibly grateful for a week to prepare mentally for the rush and enjoy life.

I read an entire novel just for fun... baked... watched "It's a Wonderful Life" - my favorite! ... went ice skating... took turns riding in the sled... skyped with my family when they were all together last night... really, this has been an amazing week.

Even though it's not technically Thankful Thursday, I still want to express gratitude in general ~

I'm thankful for God's grace that covers my life...
I'm thankful for family & friends who support me...
I'm thankful for new friendships...
I'm thankful for this week of rest...
I'm thankful for HOLIDAYS...

Today...

1. I woke up to more snow on the ground (not a significant amount - but that's okay. I took a walk with the dog in the wintry, white world... beautiful!)

2. I tried to make a snow dinosaur to commemorate last year's Texas snow storm... it didn't work. Lame.

[This is Heather and I last March with "Bethany the Brontasaurus"]

3. It is currently 22 degrees. I think I'm addicted to weather.com. I don't know why it excites me so much.

4. I had spent some much-needed time in the Word of God and finished reading "Lady in Waiting." (I definitely recommend that book!) Now I'm going to be patient, content, live by conviction, etc, etc... Thank you, Jesus.

5. I made puppy chow (http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/puppy-chow/Detail.aspx) - one of my top must-haves at holiday celebrations. Love it and so fun to make! (I also add a teaspoon of vanilla to the peanut butter/choc mixture - but according to this recipe, it's not necessary.)

6. I made green bean casserole! It just came out of the oven and smells delicious. This is the only way I'll eat green beans. It probably has more to do with memories and the fact that it's one of my mom's favorites, than actual taste. But I hope it tastes good because I'm taking these two dishes to life group tonight for our Thanksgiving dinner!

7. I was actually productive and got some homework done. That's a great feeling. I'm ready for this semester to be over...

8. Can I just say again, I LOVE THIS VACATION! I feel so refreshed. I'm definitely looking forward to a big Thanksgiving weekend, too. Then before I know it - less than a month! - I'll be home for Christmas!

It's been a long time...

I think I'm going to make a list... that's just how my mind works. On second thought, if I make a list, we'll be here all night. So I'll just start with a few tidbits of information and then hopefully get back into the routine of blogging this week. I noticed that I didn't blog at all this past week... and I hardly journaled either. I bet there's a correlation there. Hmm...

First of all - I decided to try the whole skinny jeans and boots style again... the first time didn't work out too well, but I think I'll really get it this time. (I can be trendy! haha) I found skinny jeans at Target for TEN dollars yesterday and I actually LIKE them!! Today I bought these boots and a pair of grey suede w/ similar buckles that are a little taller -- they were buy one get one FREE! If you've been reading my blog for a few months, then you know that this is a big deal for me. I also got snow boots... but those are a little less stylish. :)
I love Heather and Emily (my friends from Teen Mania - they both live faaaar away) ... I really miss them a lot. I'm grateful that I'm making strong, godly, awesome friends here, though, too. The Lord knows just what we need in each season. Besides, Heather, Emily and I still skype once a week to stay in touch and maintain some accountability in our lives. I'm so grateful for relationships & community.

The above picture is from Saturday - Channing and I make sugar cookies w/ all kinds of fun shapes and Gannon helped decorate. It was more like: put a glob of frosting on, take a bite, then move on to the next cookie. :) I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he didn't devour the whole batch! I love these kids a lot. They're on vacation right now and I'm staying at their house to watch their dog and have a little vacation of my own... it has been WONDERFUL so far. Last night consisted of chai tea, my fuzzy purple robe, the movie Pride and Prejudice, and snow outside. Tonight there will be MORE snow (supposed to start falling anytime now!) and a fire in the fireplace. I got a haircut this morning, went shopping... tomorrow I'm going to bake for the Thanksgiving dinner for my life group... I just feel so relaxed.


I do need to get some homework done, too... but then, on Wednesday morning, I'm heading up to McCall for Thanksgiving w/ the York's! Yeah!!!

This week is a nice reminder to slow down... enjoy life... rest... and not put so much pressure on myself. Not that everyday can be a "vacation" day... but it can still be enjoyable.

"I will Run" - Misty Edwards

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SC3g6rdSI6Q


I thought of this song as I typed my last post.
"I will run the race set before me / I will seek Your face as the prize of my life"
My heart's cry...

--------------

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

Endurance

A lot of what I learned in my three years at Teen Mania has to do with endurance. ESOAL. Ministry Placement. Having 5 roommates. Corporate. Running the 10k in the back forty... which was basically a second ESOAL. (just ask my roommate Michelle... we cried probably 1/3 of the time.) The fact is: I am NOT going to make emotional decisions and just QUIT. I learned the value of commitment and hard work; of relying on the Lord fully for strength that I could never muster up in my own power and simply... pushing on. Also - I know that as a wife and mother someday, there WILL be times that I feel burdened beyond what I can carry and I will FEEL like quitting... but quitting is not an option. I will HAVE to persevere and rely on the Lord. I will keep running the race set before me... and seek the face of God above all else. Decisions cannot be made based off of emotion, otherwise you will waver and change with the joys and difficulties of life. I am making the choice right NOW, to not give up.

I say all of that... but, goodness, it feels like this season of my life is all about endurance. Not giving up. Perseverance. I want to quit school because I'm so frustrated w/ figuring out a class schedule for next semester and the fact that I constantly owe them money. I enjoy my classes, but I hate all these silly logistical concerns. I'm still enduring through the loooong season of making friends... there has been progress, though, don't worry. (In fact, I'm hopefully going to meet up with a friend in between class and life group tonight! I'm at the point where I KNOW people, but I need to work on building depth in friendships, which takes time - as you all have reminded me) Building relationships takes perseverance; I've got to be intentional. They don't just happen. Even in my family I have to endure through difficult times. It's hard... but I know that I don't want to give up, even though I feel like doing what's easiest. This can be conveyed in different ways... but regardless, I want to make them a priority, even when it's complicated.

Romans 5:3-5
"[...] we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Endurance will always be a part of our lives. That's why we need Jesus. I need His strength to endure through times when I just don't know the right answer. When I feel like I can't make a decision, I need to be filled with His wisdom. And even when I just want to cry and hide... I will not give up.

What's your motivation?

I just want to walk in purity. I want each decision I make to be based off of truth and rooted in love. I want to be filled with godly wisdom that will determine each step I take and each word I speak.

Do you ever think about your motivation behind doing something in particular? Why do I really want to be his friend? Do I have selfish reasons? Why do I really want to be alone? Am I avoiding something? You know the questions that I'm talking about: Why do we do the things we do?

What's the ROOT?

I know this is true and good and healthy, and I'm sure I could talk someone else through this process... but it always seems more complicated when it's your OWN life, right? How am I supposed to know what my motivations are when I seem to have hidden them so well that even I don't understand why I do what I do? It seems to be a certain way, but is that REALLY what's in my heart? Or is it that I just "know" that it's the "right" answer? But what really IS the "right" answer? Everyone always says, "I can't make this decision for you." Goodness gracious. I just want to always be able to know the wise choice and walk in it.

I don't like to do things just to do them. (generally, speaking.) I don't like to make decisions flippantly either. I also don't want to make decisions just to please other people, though. But I can't make decisions selfishly either.

Hmm... I think I need to find some balance. And trust that I really can hear the voice of the Lord. His Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. (gosh, I love when scripture just pops to mind like that!)

Twenty Two

Hello... I hope you all enjoyed November 13 as much as I did. :) I turned 22 today!

I love birthdays- mostly because I love celebrating in general, and baking tasty treats and being with people and forgetting about regular things like homework and schedules and chores, so I can focus a little more on rest and fun and food. (boy, did we focus on food today!)

I didn't sleep very well last night because my phone kept going off with facebook notifications and text messages (my brother, sister & parents all tried to be the first one to wish me happy birthday - which resulted in messages all through the middle of the night. haha!) ... finally I was able to fumble around enough to make my phone quiet the rest of the night. Then around 7:30ish I woke up to Josiah screaming... around 8:00 I just couldn't sleep anymore so I got out of bed. I baked my traditional birthday scones, which were scrumptious! (Robbie ate three!) Then Jamie and I went to starbucks for some coffee (a wonderfully festive toffee mocha) and we all bundled up and went for a walk. After we got back and Josiah went down for a nap Jamie and I were trying to think of something exciting to do...

Now you can't judge us. We have good reasons for this and it really does all makes sense. We decided to put up the Christmas tree and decorate! Yes, I realize that it's only mid-November and most of you are rolling your eyes as you read this... but what better way to celebrate your birthday!? I really think the theme of my birthday this year (if there is such a thing...) is Christmas! My good friend, Emily Clay, sent me two Christmas CDs in the mail yesterday - just because I'd had a rough couple of weeks and she knows I love it. Another friend, Natalie, sent me a care package that I got TODAY which was full of wonderful Christmas goodies. I just find a lot of joy in celebrating Christmas.... so why only do it one month a year?!

For dinner we had DELICIOUS steak, zuccinni, potatoes and garlic bread (one of my favorite meals!) and Kathy, Jamie's mom, made the BEST ice cream cake! (oreo crust/bottom, mint choc chip ice cream, halved strawberries and oreo crumbs on top!!) They sang "Happy Birthday" and I blew out the candles - it wouldn't feel like a birthday without that. :)

All in all, it was another good birthday. A little strange being in a fairly new city without solid friendships or a large community of people I know to celebrate with... but that's okay. I'm so grateful to Jamie for making my birthday special. :)

Also... I was completely overwhelmed by the 75+ birthday wishes via facebook. I know that most people just see in the right hand corner that it's your birthday and so they write "Happy Birthday!!!" on your wall... but it's still fun to hear from SO many people! I decided at the beginning of the day that I wanted to reply to all of them... since they took the time to wish me happy birthday. Yeah, I started to regret that by the end of the day. There were so many! ;-)

I realize that this was a disorganized mess of information about my day... but I just wanted to update you all. I do feel like writing, but I am SO tired right now... so I think I'll write something more concise and understandable tomorrow. :) In the second service at church tomorrow, with my first graders, we're making cards and wrapping boxes to send to Operation Christmas Child -- see! Just an extension of my Christmas-filled weekend. :)

Today is Thuuuuursday!

Does anybody else feel this week draaaaging along? It hasn't been bad... it's actually been a GOOD week... just so very long. This morning I wanted to cry when my alarm went off. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but I at least winced... and I definitely rolled over and set my alarm for a later time after I realized I have a free evening to exercise so WHY exercise at 5:00am? It didn't help that the extra 40 minutes of sleep only felt like 40 seconds, but that's fine. Tonight I'm going to try to be in bed by TEN. That would be awesome. :)

Anyways - enough ramblings about my sleep - today is Thankful Thursday. It's kind of like a holiday around here on my blog... I really like to celebrate. Even when I don't feel like celebrating, I know that it's the right thing to do... the JOY of the Lord is our strength! (i.e. The Honor Academy's Celebration LTE - it's healthy to celebrate what God has done in our lives!)

Today I'm thankful for peace.

Peace infiltrates my life in the most intricate and wonderful ways...

Philippians 4:4-7

"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: REJOICE!

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God.

And the PEACE of God, which transcends [rises above, goes beyond, exceeds] all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

God's abundant peace is beyond all of my human understanding. It's His peace that guards my heart and mind against stress, fear, doubt, worry, anxiety. So even in the midst of the thousand questions that always find their way back into my mind ("How will I pay for that?" "What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?" "What am I afraid of?" "How can I continue growing and learning and becoming more like Jesus most effectively?") this week has been peace-FILLED. Even though life is still hard, God is sovereign. Even though I have nothing, He is everything. I'm thankful that His Word is written on my heart... and that enables me to walk in peace - knowledge of the TRUTH.

I'd like to give you a little homework... (Emily, Heather and I give each other homework all the time... it's great accountability) ... post a comment with at least ONE thing that you are THANKFUL for or are celebrating today. It can be anything. Think simple OR complex. Sometimes when I make my "thankful" lists, I can only come up with the basics like: my pillow, the beautiful trees, the comfy couch in my living room, the food in the pantry -- those are all things to be thankful for! I know how much a thankful heart transforms MY life - I hope you will choose to experience that, too!

"You are More" - Tenth Avenue North

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XY2yudW5n4
So if you have a few minutes you REALLY should watch this music video. I love this song and believe that the words are so powerful...

Funny Quotes from the Kiddos:

I know this is a blurry picture, the kid wouldn't sit still. (Notice how I blame the picture quality on a squirmy 3 year old and not my 2 year old flip phone camera?? haha!) The other day Gannon was drawing on the doodle pad while I was doing something with Channing and he said, "Miss. Kailene, Look! This is my picture of God!" Love it!
---
The kids are really on a roll playing mario kart this morning and we have a little extra time, today, so I'm letting them play a while longer.

Me: Okay, guys - Gannon picks a race, then Channing picks a race, then it really is time to turn off the wii and eat breakfast...
Channing: Okay, I believe in you.

Why, thank you, Channing! :)
---
Yesterday Channing asked if she could take a picture of her parents with her when I dropped her off at a friend's house for the day... in case she missed them.
---
Yesterday when I was getting breakfast together Channing said, "Can I have a kiwi?" Then Gannon said, "Can I have a lemon?" I started cracking up! First of all, how do you explain to a 3 year old that people don't normally just EAT lemons (although, I have before). Also, I'm pretty sure it's the ONLY time he's ever asked to actually eat a fruit!

The funny part is, he just asked for one again today and I gave in and sliced up a lemon to go with his peanut butter toast. I'm going to be a wonderful mom. ha!
---
Me: Gannon, what kind of cereal do you want?
Gannon: Well, I don't want cereal. I want a marshmellow sandwich.

The funny part about THIS is, I actually gave it to him. I put some marshmellow cream on top of his peanut butter. Hey - I just need to get the boy to eat! Another example of my great mothering skills: lemons and marshmellows for everyone!
---
Ok, what is Gannon's deal with food lately?! He just asked for cheetos with his breakfast. I drew the line with lemons and marshmellows. I made him eat a banana instead. I win!

An Encouraging Word...

Do you know the power of your words?

Life or death. Build up or tear down. Strengthen or weaken.

To "encourage" literally means: "to inspire with courage, spirit or confidence." To pass on courage. To share a little bit of confidence.


Sincere, thought-out, personalized encouraging words mean the world to me. [I know that's cliche, but I can't think of a better phrase right now to describe it.] Words can change the patterns of my thoughts or the course of my day. Whether it's a simple text message or a long conversation, I feel energized by genuine encouragement.

So... thank you, dear friends, for the words you share that bring COURAGE & CONFIDENCE.

And that's all I have to say for now. All of that serious, in-depth, lay-your-heart-out kind of blogging I've done the past few days has been slightly exhausting... ;-)


I hope you have a lovely day. Be encouraged.

Addison Road - "Change in the Making"

If you have a few minutes you should check out this song on youtube. I think it goes along nicely with my last couple posts. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yU2drg8FtBg&feature=related

This is me, trying to sleep...

My sleeping habits have been WAY off this past week. I tried to go to sleep tonight, but just ended up with my head pounding, eyes wide open, and mind racing. So I think I'll write a bit. Not that I want to make it a habit to write in the middle of the night, but this is the second night in a row.

*Note: I'm currently listening to Casting Crown's amazing-wonderful-awesome Christmas album because it's some of the most relaxing music I own.

I registered for spring semester classes tonight. Next to math and pickles and shopping for jeans, registering for classes is one of my LEAST favorite things to do. I've only been ALLOWED to start registering since Thursday and already it was difficult to find a class that I wouldn't have to sit on the waiting list for. (fyi - as a melancholy personality, waiting lists scare me because they hinder me from setting a solid schedule and making sure everything fits together properly.) Jamie graciously helped me search for open classes that are relevant to my changing major (bless her - I know she was ready for bed like an hour before that). So I just enrolled in as many as I could find - 6 - and I can always drop one or two if I need to. By the way - as far as changing my major, I'm leaning towards Communications. But I'm still nervous about that decision, so it's not final yet.

Not only is that process frustrating... I'm just struggling. I'm struggling with comparing myself. Not to any particular person, just to what I think I "should" be doing. Really, at this rate I don't think I'll graduate before I'm 30! And if I'm supposed to be focusing so much on school, then I can hardly work, which means I hardly make any money, which means I'll live with the York's long enough to see Josiah go to elementary school. (he's not even two) Okay - I know that was a slight exaggeration, just trying to make a point. ;-)

Apparently, as you may have read in my previous post, I assume that at 22 I should have reached the epitome of excellence and success and devotion, with no hint of faltering. I'm sure everyone can read this with a little laugh - because you all know that I'm never going to be perfect and that's okay!

I need to take a deep breath. Think realistically. Set some goals. Enjoy life. Get my priorities straight. Daily depend on the Lord for His grace and mercy. Rest ASSURED in His unconditional love.

[Oh Lord, have I forgotten about your infinite love for me?! Help me to live IN Your love.]

The Perfectionist in Me

Last night Jamie stopped by my room to say goodnight before she went to bed and we ended up talking for about 20 minutes... and in the course of that conversation I realized the root of much of my stress and anxiety these last two weeks: PRIDE.

[That's always a fun conversation. Not!]

It was one of those times where we were talking about this and I kept thinking, "Oh, I do that... yep, guilty of that, too... wow, this woman just nailed it on the head!" We weren't even talking about ME necessarily, but I definitely recognized the effects in my own life.

I just moved here, so of course I want to fit in, but at what length? I just spent three years at an awesome internship program called the Honor Academy at Teen Mania Ministries, so of course I want to exercise 5 times a week and have a lengthy quiet time everyday, but am I really a failure when I fall short? I'm supposed to be focusing heavily on school now, so why am I not getting A's? And why do I still not know what I want to do with my life?

I realized that I've just been condemning myself lately for every single mistake and shortcoming. I drastically overslept the other morning (which is not normal) and I thought it was just about the end of the world. I mean, really, that's just ridiculous.

What happened to my eternal perspective?!

One of my favorite lessons that I should probably tell myself at least 438 times a day: "You are not defined by your failures!"

WHO or WHAT defines me? Jesus. He says that I'm lovely. He says that I am dearly loved. He says that He will fight for me. He says that He has some pretty darn good plans for my life. He says that I can rest in His arms. He says I don't have to be troubled or afraid.

And He says all of that to you, too.

Thankful Thursday :]

Hello Everyone, and welcome to... THANKFUL THURSDAY! Today I do not feel like being thankful, but I need to be thankful. In fact, I texted my dear friend, Emily, and told her that I'm tired of having BAD days! She told me that I need to make a list of everything I'm thankful for to change my attitude/perspective. Then it dawned on me that it IS Thursday... so I can blog it. :)

So this is what I'm thankful about today:

1. Kerinda gave me two free tickets to Tyrone Wells' show downtown last night and I took my new friend Felicia. Tyrone is an awesome musician (one of my favorites) and he happens to be Kerinda's little brother. It was definitely one of the coolest things I've done since I got to Boise!

2. My new friend, Felicia. I am so excited to get to know this girl! We're very similar and I think we'll be good friends. :)

3. A friend sent me a significant amount of money (significant to me, at least!) in the mail this week... it's amazing what the Lord can do with a generous heart. I'm so grateful. (Because of her - I was able to get insurance on my car for this month. Yay!)

4. I posted on facebook that I'm going to change my major and within 12 hours I had a TON of feedback/encouragement/suggestions - how awesome to live in a "community" of friends and family who will help me with such practical things!

5. My brother, Kyle's, 20th birthday is on Monday... and I'm so grateful for him!!!

And that's the extent of my list for now. I'm trying so hard not to be overwhelmed. I just thought of the "glass balls" analogy that Tresbien taught me my intern year at Teen Mania - I can only carry so many responsibilities. If I try to juggle too many "glass balls," something is bound to break. I need to ask myself that question every morning, "What are my glass balls for today?" That way I don't try to manage all of the glass balls for the week (or month or year) in a single day. I just feel grumpy when I see glass balls falling all over the place. Can I just have some peace and consistency?!

Status Report =

Sooo... of course during the week that I'm abstaining from sweets someone brought homemade carmel apples to life group last night! I was so excited, chose the apple that had a good amount of carmel, and after 5 bites realized that I was breaking my own rule ... oh well. It's not like you get delicious carmel apples everyday! I couldn't really throw away half of it. The deed was done. ;-)

AND - even though I went to sleep at 1:00am, I still got out of bed when my alarm went off at 5:00am and exercised for 20 minutes before I went to watch the kiddos. I feel great! It just takes a little discipline to remind your flesh who's in charge.

Side Note: You all should listen to Shane & Shane's CD "Everything is Different." All of the songs are full of truth... words straight from scripture... it's just so great. I love filling my mind with truth! This week is going to be better than last week. There are still a lot of things to figure out with my car (registration, insurance, plates, tags, and fees out the wazoo) AND changing my major ASAP -- but I'm determined to remain steadfast in the Lord.

The End. :)

My Self Challenge for This Week... and what I'm learning along with it...

Whoa - I almost said, "Happy Monday!" Where has time gone?! I must be a little out of it... it is Tuesday, right??

So anyways, I am doing a special self discipline/health challenge for this week. I'm going to exercise every morning (it took me about 30 minutes to actually get out of bed this morning! haha) and drink at least 2 liters of water everyday (for some reason I have a hard time drinking even 2 GLASSES of water daily...) and I'm not eating any "sugar extras" - no cookies, ice cream, or candy. (This does NOT include coffee...) For those of you who are familiar with Teen Mania... I guess it's a mini Orange Block, which we all know and love. But hey - I know it's effective!

I video chatted with a good, far away (Virginia) friend, Emily, last week and we talked about working on ONE thing at a time. Sometimes I just get so overwhelmed with the 3864 ways that I need to change to become... healthier, a better student, more devoted to the Lord, a better friend, more financially stable, etc, etc, etc. But when I try to "fix" ALL of those areas at the SAME time... it generally just ends in frustration. Probably beacuse I'm looking for a quick fix... and I want to do it on my own. (independence) But when I rely on the Lord and remain still and peaceful to hear His voice.... and set attainable goals that focus on one or maybe two things... then I can see some growth.

So even though I know that I have a long ways to go and many areas to grow in... I need to learn to still appreciate who I am NOW. I need to remember that God loves me NOW, just the way I am. I don't need to reach this certain point of excellence before I can receive His affection. Hmmm.... I serve a God who's LOVE is unconditional. Stable. Consistent. Steadfast.

Something in which I can place my hope & trust.

Please Help??! haha

Can anyone tell me how to change the color of my post titles? That gray/blue color does NOT work with this color scheme... in fact, it kind of hurts my eyes. But I am a little "blogger" illiterate and I can't figure out how to change it!

NEEEEEW CAR!!!!

Hopefully this is the last time I have to post a picture of a car on my blog for a looong time! But, I just thought I'd show you all my NEW car. It's a 2001 Chevy Cavalier with only 135k miles on it and I bought it tonight for $1600. I told him "I'm not trying to sound suspicious, but it sounds like too great of a car to only sell for $1600... is there a reason?" And he said that he's just trying to sell it fast so he can pay bills. So I just HOPE it's a good one. It feels like such a risk. BUT - the miracle part is that I was able to buy the car without borrowing any money. I still need to pay for the registration/taxes... and to get the windshield fixed... and buy seat covers (I think the seats are pretty ugly.) ... and you know, buy some half way decent Christmas presents for my friends and family. But I'll just take all of that one day at a time. :)

Jamie, Josiah and I went for a walk this afternoon and we talked about God's provision... I really do believe that He'll provide. Lord, help me to be content... and to walk in the PEACE of that knowledge everyday.