The Return of [THANKFUL Thursday]

I haven't written a "Thankful Thursday" in a long time - but I think today is a great day to remind myself (and you!) of all the reasons why I should choose to walk in joy today and everyday! God is so good!

(I got a package in the mail yesterday - thanks, Mom!! - with pictures from our mini family reunion back in August. This is me with all of my siblings! Together again!)

1. I now have THREE sources of steady income. :) They all have to do with childcare and none of them are highly substantial... but I feel like a pretty hard worker nontheless.

2. Living in the city means that everything is much closer together and I'm spending WAY less on gas! Woo hoo!

3. I think I will include "living with the York's" every week... because they all are such a blessing to me. And Josiah is SO fun and cute! AND - Jamie and I are going to start having some women over (mostly from her life group and other ladies from church) on Friday nights to cook! I'm really looking forward to this!

4. I'm just learning so, so much.... the Lord is faithful to my heart.... trust, patience, perseverence... He's continuing to make me more and more into a pure, confident woman.

5. Kerinda & Marty Miller (the family that I nanny for - Gannon and Channing's parents) invited me to come see Tyronne Wells (Kerinda's brother!) with them when he comes to Boise - he's a great musician that I just discovered because Gannon turns on his CD all the time. I am so blessed to work for such an awesome family! I know that their appreciation is sincere.

6. I'm thankful for skype! Whether it's my weekly "meeting" (haha) with Heather and Emily on Monday nights or video chatting with my brother or randomly chatting with another dear friend -- it is just so nice to stay connected with people!

7. I'm thankful to all of the people who read this blog - which truly is a portrayal of my life & my heart in this season - and offer such encouragement.

I wish...

I wish I had an allotment of money that I could use to buy plane tickets and travel all over the country every weekend to see my dearly missed friends. I feel like everyone who really knows me lives at least 5 states away.

And... even though it's okay to miss people, I'm feeling a little convicted because I just remembered a conversation I had with Shandi a while ago... "Don't store up treasures on earth -- including people." Yes, I treasure relationships that I have with people, truly, but if I treasure them to the extent that I desire them more than I desire fulfilment in Christ there's an imbalance.

[Teach me to be content, Father. I want to be fully satisfied in you - Wash me in YOUR love!]

So yes, it would be great if I could go to Virginia or Texas or Washington or Kentucky or Oregon or Pennsylvania or Montana or California or Illinois or Florida to be refreshed by these wonderful, blessed relationships... but I don't want to just sit pining away for, well, for whatever I would be pining away for in that situation. I want to be fully content, overjoyed even, with the unconditional love of my Savior.

I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again: transition is just so WEIRD. I love life, but I really don't understand.

"Miss you"

This morning Gannon and I dropped Channing off at school and she went to his side of the car to say goodbye, like she always does. Then she told him that she'd miss him, like she always does. About two minutes later Gannon asked:

"Why is Channing sad?"

"What do you mean? Channing isn't sad."

"But 'miss you' is sad."

"You're right, Gannon. 'Miss you' is sad."

Then I grabbed a notebook and wrote that conversation down. What a smart boy. Missing people IS very sad. :(

It's Monday!!!

[For some reason I just heard that "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!" song that you hear at basketball games in my head when I said, "It's Monday." It's kind of funny, but don't you feel like that at the beginning of some weeks?! Sometimes I just have to give myself a pep talk. :) Here comes the week!]

Today I have NO class! Yay! On the other hand, the REASON I don't have class, is because I have midterms this week... so after 3 major tests and a paper, I'll definitely be ready for the weekend again. :) I have a feeling this will be the first week I'll have to lose sleep over homework. Ahh. I made it so far... oh well, such is the life of a college student, right? (Except MOST college students don't wake up at 5:30 in the morning to make breakfast for two kids and play "Just Dance" on the wii before school starts.... just sayin')

Anyways - to celebrate this day off from school and trying to park at BSU and driving downtown and in an ATTEMPT to enhance motivation in the area of studying and writing a paper on two indigineous people groups in the Arctic Tundra (thrilling, I know.)... I'm spending the day at this AWESOME coffee shop in Eagle called Rembrandts. [rembrandtscoffeehouse.net] If you're ever in town... I will take you here. :) Not only is the coffee/food absolutely delicious, it's in an old chapel and has VERY cool furniture and art, but they also only purchase fair trade/organic coffee from around the world and support local and global needs. To top it all off... I had a giftcard! (I LOVE giftcards! What a treat!)

I also thought I'd share this picture of Josiah, Robbie and Jamie's son - the family that I live with right now. I watched him for a few hours yesterday when Robbie and Jamie were both working at the church. His head is a little blurry because he kept moving; I'm pretty sure he's sticking his tongue out in concentration. I promise I did not teach the child to stand on his toys. But I did take a picture of it... because I think he's pretty talented. And awfully cute. And the best distraction from homework. I love this kid! :)

Busy Life Does NOT Equal SUCCESS

Somehow, I think mostly stemming from American culture, we believe that the busier we are, the more successful other's deem our lives. The more we can handle (or seem to handle) a jam-packed schedule of school, work, activities, volunteering, WHATEVER - the "better" a person we are. I just turned in a paper yesterday for my American Literature class about this idea of perfectionism birthed in the young people of America by pressures and demands placed on them to do well, compare themselves to their peers, and fill their lives with THINGS. I know that when I was younger, I was ALWAYS busy: sports, scouts, church activities, volunteering at the school, trying to get As... and not all of it is in vain; I'm not saying that these things are WRONG. They just become "wrong" when we place that need for success (or just to be deemed successful by the people around us) above living a fruitful, God-fearing life.

Over the past month I've been transitioning into a VERY different season of life - if you couldn't tell from all of these crazy blogs. ;-) My lifestyle is completely different now than it has been the past few years. It's easy to think: "I'm not working enough," "My schedule isn't full enough," etc. But after hearing a sermon about 4 weeks ago on busyness and writing this paper last week, I'm reminded that my purpose in life doesn't come from how much I can pack into a day and still survive. That shouldn't be my goal. Because if other people look into my life and think that I don't have a real job or I'm not taking enough credits this semester or I don't have enough of a social life or whatever else they may come up with, it really doesn't matter.

I would so much rather live a simple life. A life that is full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindess, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness & self control. A life that appreciates REST and RELATIONSHIP - with God and people around me. A life that is not so rushed that I forget the little things. I want to have time to keep learning and growing on my own - especially in this awesome season that I'm in. I don't want to get caught up in trying to meet the status quo, that I neglect spiritual, physical, and emotional health.

Here it is...

Here they are, ladies and gentleman! My new non-snowboots! I'm waiting to wear them until it gets a little bit cooler... I don't want my feet to suffocate or anything... they're used to flip flops. The part I can't figure out (don't laugh at me... well, you can if you want) -- So they fit so snugly around my leg that they're only comfortable to wear with leggings, but isn't "the style" to wear then over jeans? I don't think I can fit my jeans in there. Oh gosh. This will take some practice. ;-)

Today...

So today I cried because I felt loved. And then I laughed at myself because I honestly, don't remember a specific time that that has happened. YES, I have felt loved many, many, many times in my life. But CRIED tears of JOY because I suddenly felt so loved? I typically don't cry tears of joy, anyways- (I don't know if this is a bad thing or not.... ) When I cry it's usually because I'm frustrated or sad or angry or overwhelmed. But today I cried because I felt LOVE.

Love is such a strong, intense emotion.

This is also significant because I have been fighting off stupid little nasty lies for the past couple weeks that the amount of love that I'm "receiving" was diminishing. It's obviously NOT diminishing in any sense. Just loneliness, lack of local friends, lack of words of affirmation (or any type of conversation, really), definite lack of quality time, and missing terribly a handful of teen mania friends... all of that just piled up and seemed to suck the FEELING of love right out of me!

Oh, Lord - thank you for your faithfulness! Because the truth is: I AM LOVED!

Last night a girl from my life group, Marissa, invited me to go apple picking this morning with her sister and a few other women. I was THRILLED to be invited to do something! It was so much fun -- quality time! Finally! And even life group last night was awesome... every week I talk to more people and become more comfortable. I know that community is important. I am so grateful that I'm slowly but surely fitting into one.

When I got home from school I noticed that I had 3 comments from my last post - I haven't had comments in ages! I don't even expect that I have a large circle of readers at all... but it was just encouraging that people choose to read this blog. Because it's ME... my heart. So... that makes me feel loved, too! (This is when I cried.)

Something came over me and I just recognized God's love in all of this. I know that God doesn't ONLY love me on good days. But today really was an awesome day: the kids were good this morning, I went apple picking w/ new friends, I found a Dutch Bros coffee place AND had a giftcard, I got 100% on my quiz, I had a great workout at the gym... it was just a really good day. I hope I remember His love on the bad days, too... but those are few and far between.

I'm so grateful for the many blessings in my life... and the fact that I'm "surrounded" (all over the country) by so many people that I love - and they love me, too!