Wow. Oh Lord. This trip has been.... amazing and insane at the same time. Everytime I turn around there is a bloody nose, dehydrated missionary, red flag-confession... SOMETHING. There is always something. Leadership - especially on these kinds of trips - is a 24/7 job. Maybe like being a mom. :) I've had to learn to handle the "please, I need to talk to you right now," and "what's for dinner?" and "why are we going to bed so early?" and "she said that she's going to punch her the next time she sees her" questions/comments. Okay, so those really do sound like things that moms hear! And yes, all of them are legitimate phrases that I have heard in the past 24 hours.
I feel so empowered to LEAD on this trip! I figured that it would be so easy for me to fall back and meet the basic requirements of a Team Leader to just get through this. But it's the complete opposite. I surprise myself everyday! Carrie (my project director) told me this morning that I have a lot of wisdom and I just need to step out and act on my judgment because it's usually right. So - I've been making decisions like crazy. Praise the Lord! That's a big step! I am not who I thought I was.
I'm so proud of my team. SO proud. I'm building relationships -- I really care about them! We are meshing together as a group. Their faith is so real... and it's not just something they talk about. Whenever anything happens, prayer is their first answer; whether it's a broken sound box, a sick teammate, a ministry site gone awry... That's something I'm still working on -- Seeking FIRST His Kingdom. And serving. Whew - the group of 4 or 5 missionaries that I assigned to make lunches on the first day of ministry have asked everyday before lunch if they get to make the lunches again. I told them today that they don't have to and we can find some other people to help - they said, "No, we really want to! Please!" Well, by all means! Serve! Their hearts are genuine. I just love seeing more and more of who they are and how the Lord is continuing to mold and shape them. They love the ministry that we're doing, but they want to do MORE.
I taught the accountability session two nights ago and it was SO MUCH FUN! I definitely needed some kind of visual aid or creative way to involve the missionaries... but as far as getting up there and speaking... I don't think I sounded nervous at all and I hardly stumbled over my words. I really enjoyed it. Growth! I love it.
Last night Brittany Svitak had a layover in Dallas so Charity and Nicole borrowed my car and drove here from campus and Andrew, Reynaldo and I went with them to pick up Brittany and take her to dinner at Panera. It was so much fun to go out with adults and not be responsible for counting heads (which I am getting pretty good at) or monitoring anyone. It was great to see Brittany again, too. :)
I feel like I've been on this trip for a month... seriously. It's the weirdest feeling. I miss Heather and Emily and my interns a lot. I miss my bed. I miss internet access. But really, I'm loving this. It's hard. It's tiring. But even when I'm tired (I woke up really late this morning and it totally threw me off for a couple hours), I still feel like I'm controlling my emotions... and my energy is coming from the Lord completely!
I just realized this... this trip is only the beginning of a long series of events that are inevitably going to be stretching. I'm moving to Boise in 3 weeks (Now only 10 days). I'm getting a new job. I'm starting school at a large university - by myself. Eventually, I'm going to move into my own apartment. I really believe that this trip is preparing me to make smart decisions, to step out in confidence, to control my thoughts, to work well with other people, to be energized even when I "should" be tired, and probably five hundred other things that I don't know about yet. My faith is stronger. My thoughts are clearer... more focused on truth. Thank you, Jesus.
No comments:
Post a Comment