Not Just Another "Christian High"

Okay - taking another break from the "It's a {heart] Thing" little mini series I had going on...

Mostly because there is just something happening in my heart, aside from what I originally planned, and sometimes you just have to throw the plans out the window. (HA! If you know me at all then you know that is a completely out of character comment for me to make...)

I am excited about life right now! I'm excited about what God is doing, where He has brought me and how He will continue to lead me. I've said it before, but I know that I am a completely different person now than before I went to Panama this summer. I hope this isn't too cliche to say, but they are the most true words I could use to describe where I'm at right now. That's part of what IS my excitement about LIFE -- I am walking in a freedom (from fear, mostly) that I have not known before.

[This level of passion PLUS senioritis settling in is a dangerous combination!]

I met with a freshman at BSU this afternoon who had expressed interest in getting a free cup of coffee, getting more information about Cru and talking about life/God. She was my first one-on-one meeting of the semester. It is so evident that God is in control, too, because I was able to relate with her about some of the struggles she has had. So much so that she was brought to tears and said, "I feel like we have the same life!" Half way through our conversation I just thought, "Gosh, I love this. I am so grateful for the opportunity to minister on campus."

It was almost a year ago that I worked on a project on campus and watched one of the Cru staff members go through three meetings in a row and I thought - and later told her - "Wow, I want her job!!!" Now, I get to do that alongside her! (On a much smaller scale...)

Then I went to dinner with a friend who just graduated with her Communications degree -- we had a class together for three semesters in a row. She wanted to hear about Panama... I feel like after a whole MONTH I finally have the stories down! I told her that she's probably getting the best synopsis because I've actually had time to process what God did and I love sharing the memories. I feel like I should go back to all the people who I've already talked to and retell them about the trip now that I can articulate it better.

The point is, I talked about Panama for a long stinkin' time tonight and that got me even MORE excited! (Shoot, at this rate I will never fall asleep tonight!) After talking with my friend, I realized how passionate I am about missions and Panama and having faith to see miracles and being bold and simply praising God for who He is. There is so much to be thankful for!

"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." Romans 12:11

I remember talking to my team about this our last night together in Texas:
Your mission trip does not stop when you leave campus or when you get off the plane back in your home town... you are an ambassador of Christ and by choosing to live for Him, you are choosing to live the life of a missionary wherever God has called you to be. Look around you -- that is your new mission field.

Emmie Harper, from GE, shared this message with everyone at debriefing:
You are going to go home and be different and people will smile politely and just wait for your "radical phase" to be over. They may ask things like, "When are you going to stop being so serious about this Jesus thing?" They probably won't get it. They will expect that after a short while you will return to the same person you were before you left.

Without really thinking about it, I've been saying - even just to myself - that I feel like I'm in a phase... a really great phase where I truly am excited about life; where things are not perfect, but my perspective is in alignment with truth and I'm not consumed by anxiety. A phase where I desire to be in God's presence and I hunger for the Word. This phase where I am thinking about the future not in terms of fear and concern but with a genuine anticipation for something GREAT. This phase where I really believe that I could do ANYTHING and go ANYWHERE for Jesus.

Yeah, all of those things sound awesome and I hope they are really true of me.

But the fact is, I certainly hope this isn't just some PHASE. Not just another "Christian High" that is here for a week, but quickly fades away.

A phase is temporary. I hope whatever THIS is sticks around for a while... as in, my whole life. :)

One of the dictionary definitions of phase is "a stage in a process of change or development." (What can I say? I'm a comm/english major... I get a lot of use out of the dictionary.) Well, maybe this is a different perspective here. If this is just a PHASE, then maybe there is still MORE to come... as in, God's not done with me yet!

I know that I will have hard days (for example, probably tomorrow... because I'm staying up all night writing instead of sleeping! ;-) )... I know that I'm going to be hurt and that I will fail. I will fall short from my own expectations and others. I know that there will be times when I feel alone. BUT, I will not allow those things to change who I am. God will continue on and complete the work He began in me (Philippians 1:6).

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:5-8

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wise and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:16-21

Thanks for sticking with me through this mess of thoughts. :) What a day. God is GOOD.