I'm Just ONE

My Momma does an incredible job of balancing me out.

{Thank goodness. Somebody's got to!}

If there's one thing I learned from her, it's that I can't do it all. And the importance of rest. And how to prioritize. And that it's OKAY to let some things slip... not only is it OKAY, but it's going to happen. Alright, so that is more than one thing. I've learned MANY things from her.

I love that she balances me out in this way, because I tend to be the opposite: I need to do it all, plus some extra, perfectly, in ONE day. Then I wonder why I'm so exhausted? She just tells me to relax and take a nap. ;-)

This week has been a modge podge of thoughts/emotions/levels of tiredness and probably a dose of crazy in there a time or two.

I felt so drained last weekend with every "spare" moment spent analyzing and pulling apart a chapter of rhetorical jargon concerning "attention economies" and "intellectual property."  Moving into the week feeling drained like that made me a little grumpy. 

But THEN I had some encouraging and challenging conversations that reminded me to refocus on what is truly important, and stop getting so worked up over things that don't really matter... especially, in light of eternity. [What are the things that are really going to last? What are the things that matter outside of my own self -- not just that which makes me feel successful or productive? What are the things that I am truly passionate about and called to?] That reminder gave my perspective a 180 degree shift.

The problem is, it didn't last very long. I have about a 36 hour reprieve from the self-induced stress and craziness, then I was right back to where I started. Frustrated that I misplaced my wallet. Overwhelmed with Old English translation that I don't want to work on because I don't even know where to start. Frazzled with tasks that need to be completed in so many different areas of my life, that it takes an insane amount of mental energy to even transition between Panama prep, classes/assignments, campus ministry, relationships, etc, etc, etc.

I decided yesterday that I need to pray for steadfastness. Mostly, I just need to pray. I need strength & perspective. I need Jesus. 

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You."
-- Isaiah 25:3

Take the WORLD, and give me JESUS.

Reality is, I am just ONE person. I can't do everything. And I especially can't do everything in one day. I need grace for myself and a realistic perspective of what it means to "be productive." Sometimes, as my mom would say, the most productive thing I can do is take a nap.