Getting All Caught Up In the Hub-Bub

Sometimes I just get turned around in circles because of the thousands of voices telling me I need to perform better in one area... know more about something else... be a better, more informed citizen... focus on my family... focus on school... focus on Jesus (um, ALL of them? at the same time?)... tithe more / support missionaries and orphans around the world...

Let's get one thing straight first, I am in no way condemning the "goodness" of any and ALL of those things. 

The problem is that I feel like the message typically comes across as doing rather than being. 

[Yes, "faith without works is dead" (see the book of James) -- but works without faith (works for the sake of works) are also meaningless.]

Yesterday I met with a very optimistic academic adviser before my 3:00 class to make sure I was on the right track for graduation. (13 months from now. Definitely counting down.) I think she was more excited than I was and expressed that if I just take a few workshops next semester and as many classes as I can in the summer, I could be DONE with school by the end of August. Ending a whole four months early sounded unbelievable. Due to her hopefulness, I was almost catching onto the idea - "Yeah! I could just really push hard next semester and get done SOONER!"

My first thought: But... I am planning on devoting as much of my summer as possible to missions next summer. When I'm not actually traveling, I will be raising support to go. And possibly raising support for campus ministry next year at BSU.

My second thought: And... last I checked, summer pell grants don't exist anymore. I can't PAY for summer classes and I'm not willing to go into debt. (i.e., compile a massive amount of student loans)

My third thought: There's no way I will be done with school in August. But I'm okay with that.

I had an encouraging conversation with a good friend after class last night and one of the things we talked about was living with an ETERNAL perspective. 

Sure, graduating a tiny bit earlier would be awesome, but not worth giving up time on the mission field. 

Yes, I believe it is important to be a knowledgeable citizen. But the opposite doesn't cost me my identity or dignity.

Yep, I'd pretty much give anything (figuratively speaking) to get above a C on a chem quiz or exam. But the fact that I am bombing that class in no way defines who I am. 
(It simply means that I strongly dislike chemistry.) 

I do need to focus on family/friends (i.e. relationships), classes (I really am so close to graduation, don't want to blow it now!), and, most importantly, JESUS. (I mean, HELLO! Thank you for Your grace.) BUT -- 

The point is: You are not what you do or what you know. You were created for more than just having intelligent conversations and earning a college degree. You were created for relationship with God, and anything outside of that is temporary and fleeting. So let's just keep all of those expectations and "good deeds" in perspective. Give (of yourself, time, finances) with a CHEERFUL heart, not one expecting to receive anything in return or gain standing among God or men.

It is easier than we think to get caught up in the "hubbub" of doing good things and being a good person and fulfilling various religious expectations or duties as a US citizen, but life is not even ABOUT those things. 

1 Corinthians 13

New International Version (NIV)

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains,but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

*For those of you who got thrown off by the word "hub bub" in the title of this post: It was the first word to come to mind to complete the phrase the way I wanted, but then I doubted my knowledge of it's definition... and then I doubted it's existence. Well, according to thefreedictionary.com (google's first responder), it makes sense AND fits well in this phrase! Go me. Hubbub: "A confused uproar of many voices."