Monday Morning Musings...

A wedding, trip to California, family, school, midterms, a serious lack of studying (blah), balance, peace that passes all understanding, freezing cold, broken computer, broken car, there goes my effort to SAVE money, writing, reading, time management, rest, mountains, blessed...

I just needed to get that list of "everything-that's-on-my-heart" out there in the open.

There's a lot going on! 

I look forward to the time in my life when, put simply, my life can solely be devoted to ministry and is not split between school / work / ministry. I can't seem to find the balance. (I know that balance will not suddenly appear in my life when I am a college graduate... just saying. It sure would be nice not to have to spend so much time on that!)
School is hard and I'm slowly falling more and more behind. 
Work is... work. I love being a nanny. This Thursday we're going to the Pumpkin Patch and it's going to be so fun... mostly because it finally feels like fall outside!
And ministry -- well, I am LOVING working w/ Cru at BSU. Seriously, loving it. But I wish I could devote at least 10 more hours a week to ministry. This is my niche. Discipleship group. Evangelism. Women's ministry. Practicing speaking through emceeing at Fuel. It's GREAT. But I don't feel like I'm doing that as well as I could be because I am overwhelmed with school work.
It's a cycle. 

I read a friend's blog this morning that reminded me of the comparison trap. (Stephanie @ Expecting the Unexpected) Usually, when I feel discouraged and think that I can't do something or I'm failing at something it's because I think that I should be able to do well or I see other people do well and wonder why I just can't. This is comparison. And comparison steals my ability to be thankful for what I have and who I am.

I don't know about you, but I need to remember to stop looking 

AROUND and simply look UP. 

I will take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

One day at a time. That's all. Today, I will worry about today. 

Tomorrow will worry about itself. 

I just need to do the best that I can do & pray that God will use me to be a light in a dark place. A minister of His grace when I find myself in a mess. A place of quiet confidence & peace when everything else seems to be chaotic and stressful.

You are not defined by your failures.

Oh Lord, thank you for Your grace.