Grateful for Grace

I caught myself this morning as I reprimanded Gan for standing on the couch. 

"Gannon! This is the tenth time I've asked you not to stand or jump on the couch! You may sit on the couch or stand on the floor. If I see you do that again, I will turn the wii off for the rest of the morning."

I was quite exasperated.

And I'm sure I sounded like it, too.

It wasn't just that... I woke up way later than I planned so I didn't feel ready for the day, I wasn't feeling well, his sister was having a bad attitude doing her homework... so, my patience was just running thin all around.

Gan looked at me, quietly said, "Okay," and sat down on the couch.

Unfortunately, I didn't "catch myself" saying that until after I said it.

It wasn't that I yelled or sounded overly angry. 
(slightly irritated, probably, but not angry)

It was a reminder to me that, though I lose my patience, God never does. 
His grace abounds. 

He never looks at a mess I've made and says, "Kailene! I've told you a hundred times not to respond that way! If you do it again, that's it." Or "We've been through this so many times and it's really getting old. I wish you would just learn to be disciplined." Even when it seems like I've made that mistake or responded that way or not measured up over and over and over and over again. 

I was in a relationship once where in a serious conversation the other person sighed and told me, "Kailene, we've been over this before..." I felt like I was in trouble. I felt belittled. It's the, "when will you ever learn?" mentality. 
PEOPLE sometimes think that way; GOD never does.

There does need to be a balance of truth and grace. Sometimes Gan needs truth -- it's okay to be firm and set boundaries for him. But I want him to know that I have grace for him, too. That even when he makes mistakes or lapses in judgment (this happens fairly often when you're five), I still believe that he is capable of making good decisions. More importantly, I hope that he sees that God believes that of him.

I can look at different areas of my life and see "messes." But I know that God isn't done with me yet. He has brought me thus far, and I am confident that the work He began will be carried on to completion. (Philippians 1:6)

#gratefulforgrace