Post Vacation Blues?

If you haven't noticed by the tone of my blog posts over the past week but I absolutely LOOOOVED this Thanksgiving vacation. It was restful, peaceful, and FUN! Jamie and I both agreed, though, that by yesterday morning we were definitely ready to be home. I had been away from home for 8 days by then, and well... there's just something nice about sleeping in your own bed and not living out of a duffel bag.

I was ready to come home: refreshed, energized, rested, and ready to tackle the last couple weeks of school! Now the quick decline of those emotions... As soon as we got home yesterday afternoon I hurried off to the grocery store, then hurried back for my weekly skype meeting with the wonderful Heather & Emily, then I attempted to work on my anthropology paper as my head began to throb... all of a sudden I was so tired, and my head hurt, and I couldn't focus on the paper that I planned on staying up late to finish... I know myself well enough to know when I hit that "brick wall" and just need to go to sleep. So I did.

I got PLENTY of sleep last night and when my alarm went off this morning I was NOT even slightly ready to get out of bed! So I didn't. :-) Thank goodness I had the option to sleep a little longer... then I got up and spent some much needed quality time with Jesus... and that's when it hit me:

The refreshment that I felt from that break, as awesome as it was, is only temporary and will come and go at the drop of a hat. It didn't take much to alter those emotions. I didn't understand why I felt so tired after resting for a full week! Jesus, on the other hand, refreshes my soul in the deepest parts and offers a LASTING refreshment that will overcome any "post vacation blues." His peace fills me so completely and survives through the darkest storm. It is not contingent on emotions or feelings or my surroundings. I love this simple revelation.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:19

"[...] those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength."

Isaiah 40:31

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you."

Isaiah 54:10

"You will KEEP in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

Isaiah 26:3

Anti Chick Flick -- What is LOVE?!

Tonight I watched a chick flick and almost felt disgusted. It wasn't because the man in love dies at the end. It wasn't because it was made however long ago and the style was definitely not current. It was because it was SO fake. I just wanted to say "Surely, it (love) does NOT happen like that." You don't meet someone and then 12.5 seconds later fall madly in love and get asked to go on a perfectly romantic date. That's just not reality. Why do you think there are so many men and women who quickly get bored in relationships... or disappointed... or disengaged? It's because we so often fill our minds with junk and try to imagine the fairytale-story book-chick flick kind of romance, and our own simply falls short.

I use the term "our own" loosely here, as I really have no idea. I may know that what I saw was not reality, but I can't tell you fully what "reality" is. I do know that relationships take work. They take time. They take purposeful, intentional communication. I don't want to have some whacky expectations of what I expect LOVE to be... I want a pure, honest, God honoring, respectful relationship that tops all of that mushy fakeness.

It's worth waiting for the REAL thing.

A Belated Thankful Thursday...

My friend mentioned last week that this week's "Thankful Thursday" blog post would be AWESOME because it is on Thanksgiving. Well, that boat has come and gone and now it's Friday. Well, really Friday is gone, too - it's 1:02am on Saturday now. Whew! What a week! You know those vacations where things just go by too fast and don't work out as planned and you end up more tired than relaxed? This week has been the OPPOSITE of that! I really cannot even express how absolutely wonderful this week of rest has been. First with a few days of peace and solitude and now with four days in McCall with a welcoming family, my own comfortable room, tasty food & treats, and mounds of snow. I know that the next two and a half weeks will require a lot of work to finish out the semester strong w/ 3 papers and multiple tests... but I am incredibly grateful for a week to prepare mentally for the rush and enjoy life.

I read an entire novel just for fun... baked... watched "It's a Wonderful Life" - my favorite! ... went ice skating... took turns riding in the sled... skyped with my family when they were all together last night... really, this has been an amazing week.

Even though it's not technically Thankful Thursday, I still want to express gratitude in general ~

I'm thankful for God's grace that covers my life...
I'm thankful for family & friends who support me...
I'm thankful for new friendships...
I'm thankful for this week of rest...
I'm thankful for HOLIDAYS...

Today...

1. I woke up to more snow on the ground (not a significant amount - but that's okay. I took a walk with the dog in the wintry, white world... beautiful!)

2. I tried to make a snow dinosaur to commemorate last year's Texas snow storm... it didn't work. Lame.

[This is Heather and I last March with "Bethany the Brontasaurus"]

3. It is currently 22 degrees. I think I'm addicted to weather.com. I don't know why it excites me so much.

4. I had spent some much-needed time in the Word of God and finished reading "Lady in Waiting." (I definitely recommend that book!) Now I'm going to be patient, content, live by conviction, etc, etc... Thank you, Jesus.

5. I made puppy chow (http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/puppy-chow/Detail.aspx) - one of my top must-haves at holiday celebrations. Love it and so fun to make! (I also add a teaspoon of vanilla to the peanut butter/choc mixture - but according to this recipe, it's not necessary.)

6. I made green bean casserole! It just came out of the oven and smells delicious. This is the only way I'll eat green beans. It probably has more to do with memories and the fact that it's one of my mom's favorites, than actual taste. But I hope it tastes good because I'm taking these two dishes to life group tonight for our Thanksgiving dinner!

7. I was actually productive and got some homework done. That's a great feeling. I'm ready for this semester to be over...

8. Can I just say again, I LOVE THIS VACATION! I feel so refreshed. I'm definitely looking forward to a big Thanksgiving weekend, too. Then before I know it - less than a month! - I'll be home for Christmas!

It's been a long time...

I think I'm going to make a list... that's just how my mind works. On second thought, if I make a list, we'll be here all night. So I'll just start with a few tidbits of information and then hopefully get back into the routine of blogging this week. I noticed that I didn't blog at all this past week... and I hardly journaled either. I bet there's a correlation there. Hmm...

First of all - I decided to try the whole skinny jeans and boots style again... the first time didn't work out too well, but I think I'll really get it this time. (I can be trendy! haha) I found skinny jeans at Target for TEN dollars yesterday and I actually LIKE them!! Today I bought these boots and a pair of grey suede w/ similar buckles that are a little taller -- they were buy one get one FREE! If you've been reading my blog for a few months, then you know that this is a big deal for me. I also got snow boots... but those are a little less stylish. :)
I love Heather and Emily (my friends from Teen Mania - they both live faaaar away) ... I really miss them a lot. I'm grateful that I'm making strong, godly, awesome friends here, though, too. The Lord knows just what we need in each season. Besides, Heather, Emily and I still skype once a week to stay in touch and maintain some accountability in our lives. I'm so grateful for relationships & community.

The above picture is from Saturday - Channing and I make sugar cookies w/ all kinds of fun shapes and Gannon helped decorate. It was more like: put a glob of frosting on, take a bite, then move on to the next cookie. :) I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he didn't devour the whole batch! I love these kids a lot. They're on vacation right now and I'm staying at their house to watch their dog and have a little vacation of my own... it has been WONDERFUL so far. Last night consisted of chai tea, my fuzzy purple robe, the movie Pride and Prejudice, and snow outside. Tonight there will be MORE snow (supposed to start falling anytime now!) and a fire in the fireplace. I got a haircut this morning, went shopping... tomorrow I'm going to bake for the Thanksgiving dinner for my life group... I just feel so relaxed.


I do need to get some homework done, too... but then, on Wednesday morning, I'm heading up to McCall for Thanksgiving w/ the York's! Yeah!!!

This week is a nice reminder to slow down... enjoy life... rest... and not put so much pressure on myself. Not that everyday can be a "vacation" day... but it can still be enjoyable.

"I will Run" - Misty Edwards

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SC3g6rdSI6Q


I thought of this song as I typed my last post.
"I will run the race set before me / I will seek Your face as the prize of my life"
My heart's cry...

--------------

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

Endurance

A lot of what I learned in my three years at Teen Mania has to do with endurance. ESOAL. Ministry Placement. Having 5 roommates. Corporate. Running the 10k in the back forty... which was basically a second ESOAL. (just ask my roommate Michelle... we cried probably 1/3 of the time.) The fact is: I am NOT going to make emotional decisions and just QUIT. I learned the value of commitment and hard work; of relying on the Lord fully for strength that I could never muster up in my own power and simply... pushing on. Also - I know that as a wife and mother someday, there WILL be times that I feel burdened beyond what I can carry and I will FEEL like quitting... but quitting is not an option. I will HAVE to persevere and rely on the Lord. I will keep running the race set before me... and seek the face of God above all else. Decisions cannot be made based off of emotion, otherwise you will waver and change with the joys and difficulties of life. I am making the choice right NOW, to not give up.

I say all of that... but, goodness, it feels like this season of my life is all about endurance. Not giving up. Perseverance. I want to quit school because I'm so frustrated w/ figuring out a class schedule for next semester and the fact that I constantly owe them money. I enjoy my classes, but I hate all these silly logistical concerns. I'm still enduring through the loooong season of making friends... there has been progress, though, don't worry. (In fact, I'm hopefully going to meet up with a friend in between class and life group tonight! I'm at the point where I KNOW people, but I need to work on building depth in friendships, which takes time - as you all have reminded me) Building relationships takes perseverance; I've got to be intentional. They don't just happen. Even in my family I have to endure through difficult times. It's hard... but I know that I don't want to give up, even though I feel like doing what's easiest. This can be conveyed in different ways... but regardless, I want to make them a priority, even when it's complicated.

Romans 5:3-5
"[...] we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Endurance will always be a part of our lives. That's why we need Jesus. I need His strength to endure through times when I just don't know the right answer. When I feel like I can't make a decision, I need to be filled with His wisdom. And even when I just want to cry and hide... I will not give up.