I am a self-proclaimed preparation fanatic. Not only do I generally thrive in the area of preparation, but I also tend to construct multiple lists about how to best prepare prior to the actual preparing. (Did you get all that?)
Yes, I prepare for preparation.
My focus naturally tends to linger on the "checking off tasks" aspect of preparation. As in, "I will know I'm prepared if ___, ____, and___ are all complete by a certain time." I often think in "black and white" in this sense. Either you're prepared or you're not... and I know I'll be prepared if I can just get all the stuff done. If I can say that I read all of that, and am able to teach this part, and have a plan and a back up plan for X, Y, and Z, then I'm ready for whatever may come my way. And boy do I like to be READY.
What I realized on this beautifully serene & reflective morning is this:
Preparation is less about the tangible tasks, and more about the position of my heart.
The tangible tasks of preparation ARE important, but I don't believe that they are the MOST important. I say this because even if all the tasks are completed at the correct time, if our hearts are not positioned in the appropriate places, then all the work is for naught.
Our effectiveness in preparing for, well anything, is exponentially greater when we humbly come before the Lord FIRST, prior to figuring it all out on our own.
Your head is clear, your heart at peace, your ideas are new and fresh, your perspective shifted, your confidence in the right place... if these INtangible things are not in place, then the tangible tasks of preparation carry far less significance and impact.
Some of you may know that I am currently preparing to help lead a short term mission trip of mostly high school students to the islands + jungle of Panama NEXT week. (Ah, SO SOON!) There is definitely a lot of preparation that goes into a trip like this. I want the students to get as much out of our month together as possible! I want them to learn more about Jesus and His love for them. I want them to grow in their confidence in the Lord and in sharing their faith. I want them to overcome barriers and obstacles in their lives... things that hinder them from walking in the freedom God intends for them. I want them to have a greater understanding of the gospel and of what it means to live missionally with Kingdom vision. I want God to put a burning passion in their hearts for the people of Panama and those who do not know Him all over the world. I want them to develop vision for their lives in how they can live out this passion & vision. I do have some pretty hefty hopes for my team, but they are not going to get these things solely from a "good program" or my "creatively carved out plan" for the time I have with them.
Their lives are going to be changed by JESUS, not me.
At the end of the trip, they will remember the lasting impact that HE had on their hearts, not the plans that I had. Yes, the purpose of my plans are all to cultivate an environment that welcomes the Holy Spirit to move and provides opportunities for the students to receive from Him & bring glory to Him... but I had better be focusing my preparation on these two things first and foremost:
1. PRAYER -- If God is the one who is going to actually make life change possible in the lives of the students and people of Panama, I'd better be praying!
2. THE CONDITION OF MY HEART -- If my own heart is not in alignment with the Holy Spirit & full of truth, then what will I even have to offer the students on my team? Or the people of Panama, for that matter? If I am not completely FILLED UP, then there will be nothing to POUR OUT. I would so much rather be a catalyst for change, than merely a "program coordinator" or "trip facilitator."
This is why my own relationship with the Lord must be the top priority, or else I will have nothing to give. Even though I feel more accomplished & productive when I can check tasks off my many lists, if I don't prioritize prayer & time to allow God to work in my own heart, then my efforts will not reap the fruit I desire to see.
..........
On a side note: I am loving my time in Texas. There is a warm familiarity about this place, reminiscent of a time of extreme growth in my relationship with the Lord. (By "warm," I probably mean extreme heat & humidity... haha) I am so thankful for this place! I have another week to relax, visit with dear friends, and PREPARE, before I start off my trip! I can't wait to meet my team!
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