Thoughts @ Midnight

It is just now 12:00am and I've been sitting here cozy on my bed with my robe, slippers, and chamomile tea (my favorite) ... just gearing up for a night to write. I have been so "out of it" lately when it comes to writing and I'm not sure what my deal is, but I was ready tonight. Then... I decided to check facebook and made lunch plans for tomorrow, straightened up my bedroom, poked around on pinterest, caught up on other friend's blogs... and now it's midnight and I just want to go to sleep!

Maybe I wasn't so ready to start writing.
Or maybe I'm avoiding whatever it is I should be writing about.
Or maybe my fingers just didn't feel like typing. (I mean, let's not overthink this. ha!)

Even still, I want to post something before I go to sleep... so I will write!

This is what my bedside table currently looks like. I just think it is very "me" -
reading multiple books, journal, Bible, tea... I love it. :)

I think I feel overwhelmed with the amount of things I want to do/learn/grow in/talk about/process/understand. [How do you even prioritize such things?] I think I feel so overwhelmed with these things that I'm ignoring the fact that I feel overwhelmed. This is quite the dilemma.

I'm looking forward to going to church tomorrow morning a lot. I haven't been to church since a Christmas Eve service in Portland two weeks ago, and I haven't been to MY church (The Pursuit) since the Sunday before that. It's been FAR too long!

My dear friend, Brianna, is coming to visit tomorrow... she is staying until Thursday and then we're flying out to California together for our friend, Nicole's, wedding. I am so excited for this trip and time with sweet friends!

Classes and a more full work schedule start the week after I get back. The part of me that loves "routine" is looking forward to it and the part of me that loves to sleep in is not.

Lately, change = fear. Intense fear. Fear is paralyzing. But perfect love casts out all fear. (1 John 4:18) Fear cannot exist where love does. So what happens when I am fearful? I do not allow myself to experience God's love the way He intends it. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. Wow.