Get Motivated!

You know what I love? Getting things done, being proactive, learning, growing, being challenged, seeing progress... I just get excited about seeing God MOVE in my life and in the people around me.

[He really is active and involved in our world, if we would just open our eyes!]

As you may have seen in the attitude of previous posts, I've been struggling with frustration because of the "weirdness" of life right now. There is so much change and confusion and unknown that I get overwhelmed often. 

You know what I hate? Complacency. I never want to find myself in a place of complacency or comfortable contentment. Yes, I can be content with what I have, but not where I'm at spiritually and emotionally. There is always so much room for growth.

When life seems to "get weird" - which will probably happen often - why should I just accept that? I tend to get caught up in analyzing the details of my life, which leads to confusion and feeling "stuck". The TRUTH is that our "God is not a God of disorder but of peace" (1 Corinthians 14:33). Therefore, I will not be content with disorder, but will actively "seek peace and pursue it" (1 Peter 3:11).

We will not be challenged or grow by simply wishing that it would happen. What are you doing to avoid complacency? What are you doing to pursue your own growth and development? Don't get caught up in the "weirdness" of life, but push toward the PEACE of God. That does not mean that if you struggle or deal with hurt or recognize the depravity of this world that you are somehow outside of God's peace - what an amazing design that His peace exceeds every possible circumstance and emotion. The things that bring us down, cause confusion, break relationships, or anything else - are not greater than the peace of God. This peace that transcends ALL understanding and guards our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:7).

It's okay to accept that life is weird and hard; that's reality. But what is MORE real than that is that I have chosen to life for my King and not for myself. I will not remain in the "weirdness," but choose to put myself in situations that will challenge me and cause growth.

It's About Time.

It has been FAR too long. Remind me not to stay away [from writing] so long ever again. I enjoy writing tremendously and foregoing blogging AND journaling for almost three weeks just makes my heart sink. I thought it was because I didn't know WHAT to say or HOW to say what I wanted to say... but I need to be disciplined to push through those times because it is probably in those moments of life that God really wants to work in me and shape me. Instead, I was stubborn. Typical. ;-)

School started last week and I'm still in the funk of figuring out my drastically different schedule, getting used to new classes and professors, and settling into a nice groove for the next 4 months. I really enjoy being a student and I think my classes will be interesting. I'm super excited about my Personal Evangelism class at the Biblical Studies Center!

I'm in one of those times of life where... I feel a little crazy. :)
I'm excited about what God is doing in my life, but scared at the same time.
I understand some of the things I'm learning in Him, but there is so much more that I just don't understand at all.
I know that I'm surrounded by such a wonderful, godly community, but at the same time feel independent and aloof.
I can think of about 100 things that I need to become more disciplined in and learn about, but can't seem to make headway on a single one.

Here are the lyrics to a song that we've been singing a lot at church by Matt Redman, "Never Once"

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we've come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us


Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You've done
Knowing every victory
Is Your power in us


Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful


Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone


Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful


Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
----------------------------------------------------------------

Even in the confusion and "figuring out" of life, He IS with us. He is forever faithful. He quiets my heart and rejoices over me with singing. His love endures ALL things and will never, ever fail.

Today, I am thankful for His grace. He is so worthy of my trust, and yet I still doubt. Give me faith, Lord, and help me in my unbelief!

Thoughts @ Midnight

It is just now 12:00am and I've been sitting here cozy on my bed with my robe, slippers, and chamomile tea (my favorite) ... just gearing up for a night to write. I have been so "out of it" lately when it comes to writing and I'm not sure what my deal is, but I was ready tonight. Then... I decided to check facebook and made lunch plans for tomorrow, straightened up my bedroom, poked around on pinterest, caught up on other friend's blogs... and now it's midnight and I just want to go to sleep!

Maybe I wasn't so ready to start writing.
Or maybe I'm avoiding whatever it is I should be writing about.
Or maybe my fingers just didn't feel like typing. (I mean, let's not overthink this. ha!)

Even still, I want to post something before I go to sleep... so I will write!

This is what my bedside table currently looks like. I just think it is very "me" -
reading multiple books, journal, Bible, tea... I love it. :)

I think I feel overwhelmed with the amount of things I want to do/learn/grow in/talk about/process/understand. [How do you even prioritize such things?] I think I feel so overwhelmed with these things that I'm ignoring the fact that I feel overwhelmed. This is quite the dilemma.

I'm looking forward to going to church tomorrow morning a lot. I haven't been to church since a Christmas Eve service in Portland two weeks ago, and I haven't been to MY church (The Pursuit) since the Sunday before that. It's been FAR too long!

My dear friend, Brianna, is coming to visit tomorrow... she is staying until Thursday and then we're flying out to California together for our friend, Nicole's, wedding. I am so excited for this trip and time with sweet friends!

Classes and a more full work schedule start the week after I get back. The part of me that loves "routine" is looking forward to it and the part of me that loves to sleep in is not.

Lately, change = fear. Intense fear. Fear is paralyzing. But perfect love casts out all fear. (1 John 4:18) Fear cannot exist where love does. So what happens when I am fearful? I do not allow myself to experience God's love the way He intends it. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. Wow.

2012 Resolution

I don't generally pay too much attention to the hype of new year's resolutions. I am pretty open to making necessary changes in my life at any point in the year... I don't have to wait until January 1 to be proactive. Not that new year's resolutions are BAD, by any means. Over the past few days, though, I did think of one big thing that I want to focus on this year: Health - physical, spiritual, emotional, mental. Everything. I want to learn how to maintain a balanced lifestyle and sleep well (quality & quantity), eat well, and get plenty of exercise. (Just trying those things only has been overwhelming the past couple months!) I also want to focus on healthy relationships and healthy mindsets - filling my mind with truth, seeking first the Kingdom of God... so really, this resolution is all about priorities. First things first. Balance. My experience lately has been that I focus too much on one or two areas, that every other area suffers. (i.e. focus on eating/sleeping/exercising, but then I struggle with doing well in school and having consistent quiet times.) It has GOT to be possible to be balanced in all of those areas at the same time, right?! I know that I work well on a schedule, so time management is probably the first tool I should apply.

Please let me know if you have any suggestions... I'd be happy to hear them!

A Blur of Christmas and 2012's Grand Entrance.....

Happy new year! Can you believe that it's already 2012?! The beginning of a new year comes with much anticipation, excitement, and quite a few unknowns. I look forward to making progress in my bachelor's degree in communication/English, nannying for the most amazing family, traveling as much as my bank account will allow, hopefully finding a nice place to live downtown with a dear friend, and so much more. I'm starting the year off right by heading down to sunny California next week for Nicole's wedding - an old roommate from teen mania. This is my first time as a bridesmaid and I am SO excited!


Trips to California and the inevitability of school approaching aside, I can't help but wonder what God is going to do in my life this year. I keep coming back to the idea of PURPOSE. What IS my purpose this year? I am definitely a planner and detail-oriented person... The downside to that is that I feel the need to know everything before it happens. Unfortunately, that is definitely not how life works, especially as a follower of Christ. When I chose to follow Jesus I gave up my right to run my own life. I surrendered every single little part of me to Him. Even still, every now and then I get myself back in this place where I feel the need to plan it all out and take back control of my life.


I skyped with one of my mentors from Texas, Sarah Beth, today and she updated me on life in the office of Acquire the Fire Operations - the place I worked for three years at Teen Mania. My last year there, I spent a lot of time questioning my purpose for being there. I didn't feel like I was doing anything productive at all. She explained to me, a year and a half later, that she sees a clear difference in the atmosphere and comaraderie throughout the office. That means that I was doing something important when I was there, far more important than I even knew.


That realization hit me and made me think that sometimes you don't know the purpose of a season of life until after it has come and gone. Sometimes you don't know the purpose for a long time. I believe that God has purpose in everything He does, so why should I question His plan? Even when I am confused or don't understand, He has complete control and is not caught off guard by any of the curve balls life tends to throw my way.


So... Here's to the beginning of a new year with 365 days of purpose!