The Love of my Heavenly Father

I get overwhelmed so easily. I allow myself to get wrapped up in thoughts of "what if" and "how will I ever" and... I so quickly forget the power of GOD'S LOVE. First of all, His physical act of love - sending His one and only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross in my place - covers over all my sin. That means that when I fail or make mistakes, He's always got my back. I can always run to Him. He will never have enough of me or grow weary of my forgetfulness and disobedience. His love is never, ever ending - so nothing that I do will make it go away. I'm slowly learning how to see God as my heavenly Father. He's not like an earthly father. God's love goes beyond what I do for him or how well I perform. His love is so personal and intimate - He cares about and is involved in every detail of my life. (as long as I ALLOW Him to be involved) His plans for me are for GOOD - He wants to see me prosper.

When I start to feel overwhelmed like this, I have to take a step or two back and just bask in the knowledge of God's love. I do know that He loves me more than I could ever know. I do know that His love will carry me through change, transition, decision-making, and anything else that I come up against. I know that in His presence I will find peace. He has come so that I may have LIFE and have it more abundantly. Living for God is not just surviving... it is THRIVING. Whether it is going to school, or working at whatever job I can find to pay for school, or serving in my church, or building relationship - whatever I do - I will do it all in the name of the Lord. Today is Valentine's day - I will focus on the LOVE of my Heavenly Father!

I feel like lately I have just been CONSTANTLY thinking about next year. (I feel like 'dun dun dun' should always follow the two words "next year"...just sayin') Last night I told some friends about my decision to go to school in Boise, ID. Then afterwards I wished I hadn't mentioned anything. Not because they weren't supportive, they were. But it made the decision feel more final to me... I feel very secure in Garden Valley, TX. I know my way around the area, I have free housing/food, my car insurance is paid off, my school is paid for by grants, I am fairly confident in my job, I get to work with kids at church two nights a week... basically, I'm living the dream. My plans for next year are EXCITING. (VERY exciting!!!) But they are scary. It's different. It's a whole stinkin' lot of change. It's leaving behind a handful of friends who are very near to my heart. It's leaving behind financial security and my 3 year "tenure" in ATF Ops. I am so blessed to have friends to live with in Boise, but in 7 months my life is going to look very different.

I am anticipating a big change... but I really don't want it to consume my life. There is a difference between preparation and obsession. Preparation brings peace, obsession is craziness. I'd rather live a life of peace, thank you very much. :) Lord, help me to guard my heart against unnecessary worry and fear, and help me to rely on you in confirming this decision and not be swayed by my unstable emotions.