Keep Calm and... Drink Some Tea.

*New life motto!

In relation to the past several posts about stress and overwhelmedness and livin' the crazy life... what do you do when all that stuff doesn't work? Sure, it sounds good and might even be necessary to stay healthy and sane. But then reality hits and the 23984723894 items on your ever-growing to do list remain unchecked and sleep evades you and oh yeah, the car didn't magically fix itself.

What then, huh?!

Well, drink tea.

I typically choose mint tea, but any kind will work. Take your pick.

The point: carry on. Life will go on, whether we are ready or not. So just keep living and "keep the main thing, the main thing."

This is a lesson that I learned from one of my Project Directors on my trip to Panama this summer. She taught - and continues to teach - me about not giving up. Not ever, no matter what happens. She taught me to set my mind on what I was going to do and then GO. DO. IT. She taught me to stop listening to what other people thought I was capable of and push through the limitations that I had even set for myself. She taught me to forget my fears, my anxiety and keep moving forward.

The enemy wants us to be discouraged... our growth to be stunted... drained of energy and passion.

Not me.

I will keep moving forward.

I will not give up ever, no matter what. I will keep calm - even at the prospect of another crazy week - and just enjoy this cup of tea.

Thankful Thursday... [the right time to be thankful]

Not that Monday or Saturday or Friday do not require or deserve thankful hearts as well, but this thankful Thursday happened to come at just the right time. It's easy to be thankful when the blessings are obvious; when things are going well and life is "smooth sailing." It's not so easy to be thankful when it seems like things keep piling up and your energy keeps draining. There's no balance there. It's much more work to have a thankful heart. It's harder to see how God is working, to see the many things we are blessed with everyday.

On my way home last night, after a 13 hr day (time away from home), I chose to drive through my favorite coffee shop because they were having a deal. [I'm a sucker for deals.] It required me to take the long way home on a quiet almost-back-road. On my way there I felt like I should use the extra time I had on the way home to pray. I didn't necessarily have anything specific on my heart, just needed to pray.

While the guys at the coffee shop were making my iced kicker, one of them said, "You have a lovely smile. Has anyone ever told you that?" As I drove away and began to talk with God I said, "Thank you, Lord, for even those little forms of encouragement." A sweet compliment from a random stranger. That blessed my heart.

Then the verse in Psalm 62:8 came to mind, 

"Trust in Him at all times, you people; 

Pour out your hearts to Him, 

for God is our refuge."

So I began to pour my heart out to Him... which resulted in implementing the fifth strategy for fighting discouragement (from this post: Rising Above) and crying the rest of the way home. My heart was open. Offering up my vulnerability, everything I am. Ready to receive... grace, wisdom, love, peace, humility. 

As I pulled up to my house and wiped my damp eyes, I thought, "It's a good thing tomorrow is 'Thankful Thursday.'" It's just what my heart needs -- that simple redirection that thankfulness brings. The right time to be thankful is when it's especially hard to be thankful. 

Today I am thankful for...
1. A fun day ahead of me w/ two cute kids at the Pumpkin Patch. I'm excited to do fall-like things.
2. An extremely refreshing long distance phone call with one of my project directors - and dear friend - from my Panama trip this summer. I'm so thankful for the time to catch up with her.
3. Being a part of my brother and sister-in-law's beautiful wedding last weekend... I love them!
4. Finding my Bible! Oh, I'm so thankful for this! After a week and a half of being lost, I checked the lost and found in the Student Union Building at school and it was there!
5. The blessing of working w/ an incredible family as their nanny. This truly is the most ideal for me right now.

The Things That Matter

My emotions are feeling slightly confused as I am definitely encouraged in the things that matter, but discouraged in, well, almost everything else. 

I'm encouraged by conversations with friends who celebrate my victories and remind me of truth. - "Working 30 hrs a week and being a full-time student really is a lot to take on..." Oh. Right. 

I'm encouraged by reminders that the next year is going to fly by and then I will be a college grad and go do something exciting!

I'm encouraged by subtle compliments about my writing & speaking... somewhat of a confirmation that I'm headed in the right direction... I'm beginning to live out the passions that God has put on my heart.

But there is still this underlying discouragement.

[Ha. Maybe I should pick a strategy from the list yesterday about how to overcome discouragement!]

Then I guess my question is, what if those don't work?

What if after implementing some or all of those tips, I still have this discouragement creeping in? Even with all of the ENcouragement happening in my life right now and my ability to really see the bigger picture and know what things really matter, keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, and find my strength & joy in Him every morning...

This morning, after begrudgingly making my way out of bed 30 minutes after my alarm went off and going downstairs to make some toast & tea while reading my Bible, I came across this verse in the Psalms:

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." 31:24

I was just flipping through and it caught my eye because at one point I put a square around it.

I wrote it in my journal and put brackets around each separate phrase: 
[Be strong]
[Take heart]
[You who hope in the Lord]

I understand the first and the last phrases and I've obviously heard the middle phrase, but what does it really mean to "take heart"? The term 'heart' is extremely ambiguous. I looked up the phrase on dictionary.com and was actually surprised by what I found.

Related words for "take heart" --
     Dare, take a risk, be courageous, be bold

Well, shoot, that's not "safe" at all! I know that my hope is found in Jesus, so what should I do with that lingering discouragement? Be strong. The JOY of the Lord is my strength. Take heart. Take a risk. Be bold and courageous. Don't just survive, thrive. Don't just sit back and wait, do something. That may mean a little trial and error. That may mean that things don't always work out the way I think they're supposed to.

I have nothing to worry about in boldly taking risks as one who's hope is in the Lord, because I know that nothing that I do is outside of His ability to love me and rescue me. He's got my back. My life is in His hands.

When do I feel most ALIVE? When I'm doing something that completely freaks me out. 
I can focus on the discouragement or I can get out there and LIVE.

Moral of the story: Don't give up. Keep pushing through. In the words of my linguistics professor prior to the midterm: "This too shall pass." Sure, "weeping may endure for the night, but His joy comes in the morning"(Psalm 30:5, AMP). 

Rising Above

We've all been there... the car broke down, every weekend seems to be booked from now until forever, the numbers on the scale keep going up instead of down, just when you think you've finally caught up, there's another mound of work to do... life can get overwhelming faster than I can read through my to do list to even know what all I'm overwhelmed with! 

I read this list last night in the book I just started reading and wanted to share it with you because:
     1. I love lists.
     2. I especially love PRACTICAL lists.
     3. It's good to know that I'm not alone in needing to apply a few or all of these things.
     4. Everyone needs this reminder every now and then because we have an enemy who is working against us and wants to make us believe that we shouldn't need any of these things.

Joanna Weaver's "Five Strategies for Fighting Discouragement" 

(Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, 2000, p. 21, italics mine)

1. Allow for rest stops. Discouragement is often our body's way of saying, "Stop! I need rest." Try taking a nap or getting to bed a little earlier. It's amazing how different things will look in the light of morning. 

"Six days you shall labor, but on the seventh day you shall rest; even during the plowing season and harvest you must rest." Exodus 34:21

This is so important! I remember my first year out of high school, I had just moved from Oregon to Texas, and I learned how to tell when I was getting sick. I correlated it to a mother knowing when her child is tired or hungry. She just knows the signs. Well, I was excited that I could know those same signs for myself, too. I know that when I start to get sick (sometimes due to stress), I lose my appetite and can't seem to get enough sleep. It's just a matter of evaluating where you're at and recognize when your body needs more or less of something. It truly is amazing what a good night's rest can do.

2. Get a new point of view. Take a few steps back and ask God to help you see his perspective on your situation. Often what seems to be an impassable mountain in our eyes is only a steppingstone in His.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9 (substituted from the verse in the book)

It's all about perspective. Really. Sure, my computer breaking is frustrating -- but it was an easy fix and was only out of commission for four days. I will live. Sure, not studying for a linguistics midterm will not lead to a high grade and that will just fit in the grade book nicely next to my less-than-great homework assignment grades -- but I've made it through hard classes before and I will make it through this one. I am not defined by my grades. Look at your frustration from a different angle.

3. Have patience. It's easy to get discouraged when things don't go the way you planned. But if you've committed your concerns to the Lord, you can be sure he is at work, even when you don't see his hand.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Just trust. Trust and obey. Trust that His plans for you are GOOD and He is not going to leave you or forsake you. Your life is in His hands. Rely on this truth and the worry fades away... most of the time, in my own life, I don't even see the "lesson" or "growth opportunity" or purpose in those times of discouragement until I'm through them looking back. Be patient to wait and experience those times because God's plan is far better than anything we could come up with on our own!

4. Mingle. Discouragement feeds off isolation. Get out of the house! Go visit some friends. It's amazing how good, old-fashioned fellowship can lift our spirits and chase away the blues.

"How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" Psalm 133:1

There are definitely times when I need to be alone and just rest in God's presence. There are definitely other times when I need to choose to avoid isolation and go be social. I'm usually grateful for it in the end. Part of knowing yourself is knowing when you need to be alone and when you need to be with other people. It's not always about what you WANT to do either. Check your motives. Sometimes I just need to get out of my own head and stop focusing on myself long enough to see that the world is bigger than my problems. I need to get out of that pit of self-pity and focus on someone else - serving, loving or simply enjoying other people.

5. Set the timer. Okay. So things aren't so good. I've found it helpful to set the oven timer and allow ten minutes for a good cry. But when the buzzer sounds, I blow my nose, wipe my eyes, and surrender my situation to the Lord so I can move on.

"a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance," Ecclesiastes 3:4

It's okay to cry. Crying is actually healthy. It releases toxins, lowers stress, and elevates mood. (According to PsychCentral) Crying is NOT a sign of weakness. The point is not to allow yourself to wallow, but to acknowledge the frustration/discouragement/etc, experience the emotions (cry/journal), and then surrender to the Lord so you can move on. Crying for 10 minutes is a healthy release; crying for 10 days, probably not so much.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." 

Deuteronomy 31:8

Monday Morning Musings...

A wedding, trip to California, family, school, midterms, a serious lack of studying (blah), balance, peace that passes all understanding, freezing cold, broken computer, broken car, there goes my effort to SAVE money, writing, reading, time management, rest, mountains, blessed...

I just needed to get that list of "everything-that's-on-my-heart" out there in the open.

There's a lot going on! 

I look forward to the time in my life when, put simply, my life can solely be devoted to ministry and is not split between school / work / ministry. I can't seem to find the balance. (I know that balance will not suddenly appear in my life when I am a college graduate... just saying. It sure would be nice not to have to spend so much time on that!)
School is hard and I'm slowly falling more and more behind. 
Work is... work. I love being a nanny. This Thursday we're going to the Pumpkin Patch and it's going to be so fun... mostly because it finally feels like fall outside!
And ministry -- well, I am LOVING working w/ Cru at BSU. Seriously, loving it. But I wish I could devote at least 10 more hours a week to ministry. This is my niche. Discipleship group. Evangelism. Women's ministry. Practicing speaking through emceeing at Fuel. It's GREAT. But I don't feel like I'm doing that as well as I could be because I am overwhelmed with school work.
It's a cycle. 

I read a friend's blog this morning that reminded me of the comparison trap. (Stephanie @ Expecting the Unexpected) Usually, when I feel discouraged and think that I can't do something or I'm failing at something it's because I think that I should be able to do well or I see other people do well and wonder why I just can't. This is comparison. And comparison steals my ability to be thankful for what I have and who I am.

I don't know about you, but I need to remember to stop looking 

AROUND and simply look UP. 

I will take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

One day at a time. That's all. Today, I will worry about today. 

Tomorrow will worry about itself. 

I just need to do the best that I can do & pray that God will use me to be a light in a dark place. A minister of His grace when I find myself in a mess. A place of quiet confidence & peace when everything else seems to be chaotic and stressful.

You are not defined by your failures.

Oh Lord, thank you for Your grace.

Thankful Thursday #3

Gosh, another alliteration... I'm gettin' good at this!

*I was planning on posting pictures... but I left my phone at my brother's apartment. So I'll do that later. Oh well!

1. WEDDING WEEK IN CALI! That's a big bundle of thankfulness all wrapped up in one. :) I've got family that I haven't seen in 6+ months, friends, summery weather, gaining a sibling, decorating for a beautiful wedding, late night talk w/ my brother who will be a married man in 48 hours... whew!

Need I even say more?!

And yet, my heart CONTINUES to be thankful...

2. I'm thankful for a firm foundation of truth and the choice to not be a crazy, stressed, frazzled mess.

3. I'm thankful for the TRUTH that says that I am loved. I'm forgiven. I'm set free. I'm confident in Jesus' Name. I'm wrapped in my Heavenly Father's arms.

4. I'm thankful for a short vacation and time to get away from the crazyness of "everyday"..... really, just trading one kind of crazyness for another. Preparing for a wedding is insane. And I'm not even doing all that much.

5. I'm thankful for dear friends who I know will support me and encourage me and love me when it's my turn to be the bride.

6. I'm thankful that the condition of my heart is not swayed by the whims of people around me or the circumstances I find myself in. HE guards my heart and covers me in the peace that passes all understanding.

7. I'm thankful that I have the Word of God written on my heart. Even though I lost my Bible. :(

8. I'm thankful that a friend is working on my car while I'm out of town.

9. I'm thankful for how much homework I've gotten done and for understanding professors.

10. I'm thankful that even if I don't get ALL of my homework done to the standard that I would like to get it done.... I will still be okay. Life goes on. My brother's getting married. I will do my best and that's all I can do. There's grace. Thank you, Lord.

An Age Old Dilemma... in my own life, and apparently the Apostle Paul's, too

I was reminded last night before I fell asleep of the "glass balls" analogy that my dear friend, Tresbien, (check out her cute blog @ "Love on a Budget"), taught me when she was my resident director at Teen Mania Ministries. 

[I just love when these little life lessons come back to mind. Thank you, Lord!]

Basically, we are juggling glass balls that represent "responsibilities." (i.e. school, work, relationships, etc) Reality is, we can only juggle so much at one time before things start to fall. If we try to get tricky and add too many balls, one or three or five are bound to crash to the ground. 

This is a rough picture of our lives. I can only manage so many responsibilities before something is going to crash. The question is, 
which one(s) am I willing to let go of? 
Which one is okay to let crash? 
What am I NOT willing to lay by the wayside?

I think sometimes my problem is that I put too many things in my set of top priorities and then I have to juggle really fast for a long time with a lot of pressure - because I really don't want ANY of those glass balls to break. Is that even feasible? Realistic? Wise?

Where is the line?!

This is really about priorities. There are some glass balls that I am simply not willing to let crash, ever: my relationship and time w/ Jesus, family relationships, friends that God has put in my life for a purpose. i.e. Investing in RELATIONSHIPS. 

Another one is health - physical & emotional. Whatever this needs to look like at a given time. Sometimes, in order to be healthy, I need to take a "homework free" day or drive up to the mountains or take a nap. Or maybe it means I need to carve out 30 minutes in my hectic day to make sure I get to the gym or sit down to eat a healthy meal (preferably, 3 of them). I've learned that my health has GOT to be a top priority because if it is lacking then everything else will suffer because of it. (You can't get much done when you're brain dead from only sleeping for 3 hours or sick in bed with the flu!)

Other things in life may rise or fall on the priority list depending on other factors and conditions. There may be days or weeks when I need to focus on school and that becomes a top priority (but not higher than the HIGHEST non-negotiable priorities) and other times when I can let school slide a little and focus more on ministry or working extra or whatever else may come up. 

Knowing your priorities - the MOST important things through the least important - is basically setting boundaries in your life. The way that I look at it, boundaries = freedom! Boundaries tell me what I need to say yes and no to. It's making the decision in advance and already knowing how I am going to use my time and invest my life.

While that is all well and good... is that what ACTUALLY happens? No. 

At least not for me. I guess I should speak for myself here. :)

I could easily just end the post here and wish you all luck in setting priorities and making that happen. But let's just be real, usually, we know what we need to do but instead we do something else. (hmm, sound familiar?) Our priorities are out of whack.

^{Romans 7:15} I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Apparently, this is not a new issue. Paul struggled as well.

Note: I am NOT saying that just because you need a simple priority shift means you are living in great sin and need to repent (although, you may... I'll leave that up to you and God)... but I do think that Paul clearly conveys the confusion that a vast majority of us experience in TRYING to do the thing that we KNOW we should do, when we end up doing something entirely different, and the frustration that comes with doing so. 

I KNOW that spending time with God is the best thing for me in the morning, but sometimes I choose extra sleep instead. Or I just get caught up doing other things and quickly flip through a devotional.

I KNOW that maintaining my health is critical, but sometimes I let homework or meetings get in the way.

I KNOW that I need to invest in relationships, but sometimes the tasks on my to do list are overwhelming and drown out everything else.

Notice that they are all a CHOICE. I choose how I spend my own time, whether for better or worse. I choose which glass balls I'm going to cling to and protect and which I'm going to let fall to the ground. 

I often cling to the wrong things. I get overwhelmed easily and only want to spend time doing things that will either prove my "success" (i.e. SCHOOL) or things that other people will see. To put it bluntly, that's awfully prideful.

Jesus, I only want to cling to YOU. You are truly all I need. All else can fall away... they are temporary anyways. Help me to keep my priorities in check and choose to spend my time wisely and trust You with the glass balls that need to drop.