How do you define peace?

"Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS. I will say it again: REJOICE!
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:4-7

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Peace.

Peace that transcends (go beyond, exceed, to be above and independent of, surpass) all of our understanding. How do you define peace? Do you seek peace as in comfort, perfection, lack of hurt, pain or trouble? Do you only experience peace when your circumstances or emotions (both of which are fleeting) dictate it?

I believe that God gives us peace in the exact moment and way that we need it, even if we don't realize it.

I love the snow. This morning as I'm running off of way too little sleep, two tantrums from my two lovely kids before school, taking Channing late to school for the first time all year, and stumbling through a ridiculous quiz for my perspectives class (a class that I REALLY need to work on changing my own perspective towards... I've got to stop saying "I can't.") ... the piece of chocolate and hazelnut latte and favorite music helped to calm my heart... but when I saw the SNOW falling outside the coffeeshop window, I felt like it was from the Lord. I love that. I love seeing Him in nature, hearing Him in the encouragement of a friend, seeing His character shine all through scripture... I just love His presence. Psalm 16 says that "in His presence is fullness of joy." God, help me to live in your presence constantly. Help me to keep my emotions/thoughts in check and rely completely on You... for YOUR peace exceeds my understanding of what peace is supposed to look like. I want Your kind of peace, not the kind I create.

Community... it's the place to be.

I just love people. I love having good conversations and drinking coffee and playing games and reading the Word and praying and eating and cooking with people. I love that we were MADE for community. We have what it takes (encouraging words, affection, etc) to SUPPORT one another.

I wrote yesterday about having dinner at my favorite restaurant with my friend, Lindsay. We work together in XL (eXtreme Life - children's ministry at church) as Volunteer Coordinators. We do fun things like write the volunteer handbook and discuss how the Bible is like a hot dog. (or a mirror, or a letter, or a sword.....) But even MORE than that... she is someone that I really connected with fast. We haven't been friends for very long, but we have had GOOD conversations. I am so grateful that we hung out last night... celebrated V-day together... and that our conversation helped me understand my life. You know you've got a good friend when they commit to hold you accountable to something.

THAT, friends, is what the body of Christ is all about.

God really does provide ALL that we need. I am so grateful for the awesome community of believers that He has placed me in here. He sure knows what He's doing!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today was such a fun day! It's always encouraging to hear Gannon say, "I hope she's here already" as he comes down the stairs in the morning. :) Channing and Gannon both wrote me a song and gave me a little package of Godiva chocolates (seen in my v-day breakfast picture below). They're really good about giving fun gifts - I love it! They both had new outfits and looked adorable! Do you remember those Valentine's day parties in school? The kids were SO excited for them! I love mornings when I can feed off of their excitment rather than their grumpiness. :)

I had a delicious breakfast with my favorite cereal (Life), berries + coffee.

Channing asked if I could do something cute with her hair today... how can I say no to that? So we both curled our hair. It's like having a little sister. :)

I was not as productive with homework today as I would have liked... but that's okay. I was focusing on the class that generally takes more time anyways. So it probably wasn't just procrastination fighting against me.

After my day with the kids, I met my awesome friend, Lindsay, at Red Robin - my FAVORITE restaurant - for a Valentine's dinner date. :) She asked me a couple weeks ago if I had plans... so we've been looking forward to this! I am SO glad that I've been getting to know her. We had a really encouraging conversation and I just really enjoyed her company. I'm so grateful for friends!

Then I went home to find some tasty chocolates and a card in my mailbox. What a way to end this V-day. :) I am so blessed!

No Matter What.

I will trust Him IF this turns out the way I want...

I will follow Him IF He makes my life easier...

I will be bold in my faith IF other people don't laugh at me...

This song, "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts, exemplifies our complete NEED for God. Dependence. When I started my second year at Teen Mania, the Lord really set this idea of "dependence" on my heart. I felt like most everything I was learning was about this, and the rest of that year was just one moment of surrender after another. I was so full of pride thinking, "I have to figure out a way to do this on my own." I kept trying to FIX myself, which obviously got me nowhere. That year was a process of asking the Lord to renew my mind and bring me to a place of REST, knowing that I can not do this life on my own... He doesn't ask that of me anyways.

NO MATTER WHAT.

It's easy to depend on God when our finances are in order, school is going well, we know what our future looks like, etc, etc. But what about when life is hard? What about when we have no idea what tomorrow looks like, nevermind the next 5 years? (because really, none of us do) What about those days where life hits you hard and you feel out of control? When there is more chaos than peace? Do we trust on those days? Do we depend on the Lord NO MATTER what, or do we try to take back what we've already surrendered? "Okay, God, I know that I said I gave you my WHOLE life, but that was before I knew ___ was going to happen. Now I want to take things into my own hands again." That may SOUND ridiculous, but I know I've done it way more times than I 'd like to admit. My pride rises up and I get nervous that God just isn't going to come through, and I freak out. (a.k.a - I take back what I've already claimed to have surrendered.)

I want to live my life like this song. What freedom! I don't have to make the choice every morning if I'm going to live for myself or for the Lord, I just KNOW that my life is in God's hands and HE is in control. I don't need to worry! I'm surprised everyday by the tragedies around the world, the aches in my heart, the circumstances around me... but NOTHING surprises Him. He is my HOPE + my STRENGTH. I will trust in Him - no matter what.

No Matter What - Kerrie Roberts

I'm running back to your promises one more time
Lord that's all I can hold on to
I gotta say this has taken my by surprise
But nothing surprises You

Before a heartache can ever touch my life
It has to go through your hands
And even though I, keep asking why, I keep asking why

No matter what I'm gonna love you
No matter what I'm gonna need you
I know that you can find a way to keep me from the pain, but if not, if not, I'll trust in You
No matter what

When I'm stuck in this nothing-ness by myself
I'm just sitting in silence
There's no way I can make it without your help
I won't even try it

I know you have your reasons for everything
So I will keep believing, whatever I might be feeling
God You are my hope and You'll be my strength

Anything I don't have you can give to me
But it's okay if you don't - I'm not here for those things
The touch of your love is enough on it's own
No matter what I still love you, and I'm gonna need you

Check out the song on youtube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4DzjiU3pTA&feature=related

Sleeping Babies.

Is there anything better in the whole entire world than holding a sleeping baby?

Their sweet smelling heads nuzzled up in your neck... the peacefulness of their steady breathing... I'm pretty sure holding a sleeping baby is one of my favorite things to do. ever.

[This is my favorite - yesterday I had to wrap Gannon up like a burrito and carry him to the car because he was still napping when it was time to go pick up Channing from school. He didn't even wake up!]

There's really no reason for writing this, besides to express the fact that they're so darn precious. I have a habit of taking pictures of the snoozing little ones, so I thought I'd share. :)

The Power of $6.00 Ice Cream

[Well, it really wasn't ice cream, it was frozen yogurt. This is significant because Jamie HAD to have frozen yogurt... so we did a few u-turns to make sure we found the right place. Luckily, my Dad was a race car driver... so I'm really not surprised by Robbie's crazy driving... especially when it's in pursuit of some tasty DESSERT!]

All this to say: a little treat goes a long way.

I love finding JOY in simple things:
...the smell after it rained tonight
...Josiah's contagious laughter
...the miracle of webcams used to video chat w/ friends across the country
...the piece of lindor milk chocolate that I've been saving to eat while I journal/read tonight
...the fact that I can sleep in until 9:30 tomorrow morning, if I really wanted to. [and believe me - I am NOT going to pass up that opportunity after this absolutely insane week.]
...encouragement from the Word of God

and those are just the things that are applicable for TODAY! I love getting random notes from friends, or the perfect playlist on pandora, or doing well on a test, or getting coffee with a friend, or a late night conversation w/ Jamie... tonight it happened to be $6.00 ice cream that did the trick. I think that's the most I've EVER spent on ice cream... but it was DELICIOUS + you get to choose toppings and the fruit was wonderful... sometimes it's okay to splurge. :)

It's good to remember that life is not all about school/homework/class, paying bills, working, planning, making decisions, etc, etc, ETC.

Sometimes it's just about eating ice cream.

"You are not defined by your failures."

This is one of the many, many things I specifically remember learning my first year at Teen Mania... I am not defined by my failures! I don't remember who said it, but I'm grateful he/she did - because it STILL comes to mind when I need the reminder.

It's so easy - at least for me - to get caught up in what I look like. What kind of student am I? What kind of Christian am I? What kind of friend? What do people SEE when they look at my life?

Failure just doesn't sit right with me. (ok, so let's be real - does failure "sit well" with anyone?! not likely.) I think I go through phases where it's not as difficult as others (and it probably doesn't help today that I am so tired and feeling sick.), but then other times failure just makes me feel so broken! What brings this on, you ask? I didn't do well on a test just now and I didn't even turn in a homework assignment the other day. My worth is not found in what GRADE I receive! Sheesh. You know, the more I sit here and think about this, the more I realize that I think my fear of failure really has to do with a fear of not being in control. There is natural peace when everything is going smoothly, as planned. But I have to rely on the Lord for supernatural peace when things feel rocky and do NOT match my plans. Actually, I'm starting to think of a lot of reasons why I fear failure right now. Rather than dwelling on those things... I want to point my thoughts toward truth.

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13 ~Thank you, Lord~

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 4:22

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will NOT be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love." Psalm 103:8

...... I could go on. Oh Lord, let this truth penetrate my heart in the deepest way possible. I pray that my thoughts and actions and motives would all align with your Word. Help me to remember to seek + fear You above ALL else... clinging to the cross.

Jeremy Riddle - "Sweetly Broken" - LOVE THIS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5_Z3ZZYLDc