Preparation at it's Finest

I am a self-proclaimed preparation fanatic. Not only do I generally thrive in the area of preparation, but I also tend to construct multiple lists about how to best prepare prior to the actual preparing. (Did you get all that?)

Yes, I prepare for preparation.

My focus naturally tends to linger on the "checking off tasks" aspect of preparation. As in, "I will know I'm prepared if ___, ____, and___ are all complete by a certain time." I often think in "black and white" in this sense. Either you're prepared or you're not... and I know I'll be prepared if I can just get all the stuff done. If I can say that I read all of that, and am able to teach this part, and have a plan and a back up plan for X, Y, and Z, then I'm ready for whatever may come my way. And boy do I like to be READY. 

What I realized on this beautifully serene & reflective morning is this:

Preparation is less about the tangible tasks, and more about the position of my heart.

The tangible tasks of preparation ARE important, but I don't believe that they are the MOST important. I say this because even if all the tasks are completed at the correct time, if our hearts are not positioned in the appropriate places, then all the work is for naught.

Our effectiveness in preparing for, well anything, is exponentially greater when we humbly come before the Lord FIRST, prior to figuring it all out on our own.

Your head is clear, your heart at peace, your ideas are new and fresh, your perspective shifted, your confidence in the right place... if these INtangible things are not in place, then the tangible tasks of preparation carry far less significance and impact. 

Some of you may know that I am currently preparing to help lead a short term mission trip of mostly high school students to the islands + jungle of Panama NEXT week. (Ah, SO SOON!) There is definitely a lot of preparation that goes into a trip like this. I want the students to get as much out of our month together as possible! I want them to learn more about Jesus and His love for them. I want them to grow in their confidence in the Lord and in sharing their faith. I want them to overcome barriers and obstacles in their lives... things that hinder them from walking in the freedom God intends for them. I want them to have a greater understanding of the gospel and of what it means to live missionally with Kingdom vision. I want God to put a burning passion in their hearts for the people of Panama and those who do not know Him all over the world. I want them to develop vision for their lives in how they can live out this passion & vision. I do have some pretty hefty hopes for my team, but they are not going to get these things solely from a "good program" or my "creatively carved out plan" for the time I have with them.

Their lives are going to be changed by JESUS, not me.

At the end of the trip, they will remember the lasting impact that HE had on their hearts, not the plans that I had. Yes, the purpose of my plans are all to cultivate an environment that welcomes the Holy Spirit to move and provides opportunities for the students to receive from Him & bring glory to Him... but I had better be focusing my preparation on these two things first and foremost:

1. PRAYER -- If God is the one who is going to actually make life change possible in the lives of the students and people of Panama, I'd better be praying!

2. THE CONDITION OF MY HEART -- If my own heart is not in alignment with the Holy Spirit & full of truth, then what will I even have to offer the students on my team? Or the people of Panama, for that matter? If I am not completely FILLED UP, then there will be nothing to POUR OUT. I would so much rather be a catalyst for change, than merely a "program coordinator" or "trip facilitator."

This is why my own relationship with the Lord must be the top priority, or else I will have nothing to give. Even though I feel more accomplished & productive when I can check tasks off my many lists, if I don't prioritize prayer & time to allow God to work in my own heart, then my efforts will not reap the fruit I desire to see.

..........

On a side note: I am loving my time in Texas. There is a warm familiarity about this place, reminiscent of a time of extreme growth in my relationship with the Lord. (By "warm," I probably mean extreme heat & humidity... haha) I am so thankful for this place! I have another week to relax, visit with dear friends, and PREPARE, before I start off my trip! I can't wait to meet my team! 

Be like a lion.

I remember one day four summers ago when I had to make a certain phone call. I don't particularly enjoy talking on the phone anyway, but this one was sure to be a doozy. I knew it could either go really well or really poorly, and there was potential that I would end up hurt. The conversation was not one that I wanted to engage in, but one that I knew was necessary. I made the call. Life went on. So where does the lesson come in to play here?

It was the next day, when I was sharing about the phone call with someone, and his first response was this: "So were you a lion or a lamb?"

"Excuse me?" *confused expression*

"Were you a lion or a lamb... in the conversation. Did you stand up for yourself or back down? Were you bold like a lion?"

Since then, I've continued to ask myself this question. 

Who do I want to be today? 

Or better yet, who do my decisions and actions and words show that I am... regardless of who I wish to be?

I can want to run a marathon, but if I don't train, it's not going to happen.

I can want to have blonde hair, but if I don't take the steps to actually color it, I will always be a brunette (which we all know is better anyways!).

I can want to get a fancy new car (ok, I'd settle for something that simply has all mirrors intact and the gear shift in the right place...), but if I am not intentional about saving money, I will drive my little chevy cavalier forever and ever. Or at least until it dies. 

"...the righteous are as bold as a lion." Proverbs 28:1

I want to be a lion. 

Fierce. Bold. Undaunted by all of life's pressures and concerns. Self-assured. Confident. Courageous.

And where does this righteousness come from???

"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God." 1 Corinthians 5:21

Jesus. 

We have no excuse not to be BOLD because it does not come from our own ability. Rather, complete reliance upon and confidence in Jesus results in boldness as HE alone is our righteousness. He provides strength and confidence for the "hey-I-didn't-even-know-I-had-that-in-me" moments. I hope to have many of those in my life. 

Who do you want to be? What do you want to do? What are you investing in?

Are you a lion or a lamb?

Who do your actions already show that you are?

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