In relation to my post "Hard Does NOT Equal Bad" (Click HERE to read it!), I just want to add that not only is "hard" not always bad, sometimes it's awesome. Or at least, it has some pretty awesome results. I have undeniably experienced some AWESOME breakthrough this week. Though it was hard, it is so beyond exciting to look back and see all that God has done and know that I am not the same person today that I was last Friday. I have a whole new perspective and understanding of who I am, who God is, and what it means to walk in the Spirit. Yes, all of that happened in one week and I wasn't even at high school summer camp! ;-) Just living life. Seeking God. Making decisions. Being bold.
The interesting thing about this is that sometimes people don't like change. They criticize a decision and suggest alternative routes and bring on the "what if?" questions and "If I were you I would have..." comments. As I'm trying to move AWAY from pleasing people instead of God, my response to those criticisms will be... I'm okay with that. I'm okay that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm okay that I don't have all the answers. I am now less concerned with figuring out "What is the RIGHT thing?" and more concerned with keeping my heart still and my mind silent to be open and receptive to how the Holy Spirit directs me - even when I can't explain WHY.
This new mindset sure makes living for God EXCITING! It feels like a real journey. Not just following a rule book. It's all about a relationship.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The "Sweetness" of Trusting
’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.
---------------------------------------
The burden is not mine, but His. Full surrender. The sweetness of trusting in Jesus is freedom to be who He wants me to be. Eliminating anxiety, worry, fear. Life may not look the way I want or expect it to, but I trust that His way is better. I don't have to even HAVE a plan... I just need to be obedient and trust in His.
So grateful for the seriously intense ways that God has been working on my heart. Things that I thought I knew, but didn't really believe... therefore, was not acting out in. What it really means to trust. What it looks like for me to take Him at His Word and believe that His promises are true. That the joy of the Lord truly is my strength. That I can make decisions and seek Him all along the way... rather than understanding the entire plan before I take my first step. It's all coming together! Oh, I know that I have so much to learn. But I just love to see progress and growth and change. Refinement. Whew, quite the process!
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.
---------------------------------------
The burden is not mine, but His. Full surrender. The sweetness of trusting in Jesus is freedom to be who He wants me to be. Eliminating anxiety, worry, fear. Life may not look the way I want or expect it to, but I trust that His way is better. I don't have to even HAVE a plan... I just need to be obedient and trust in His.
So grateful for the seriously intense ways that God has been working on my heart. Things that I thought I knew, but didn't really believe... therefore, was not acting out in. What it really means to trust. What it looks like for me to take Him at His Word and believe that His promises are true. That the joy of the Lord truly is my strength. That I can make decisions and seek Him all along the way... rather than understanding the entire plan before I take my first step. It's all coming together! Oh, I know that I have so much to learn. But I just love to see progress and growth and change. Refinement. Whew, quite the process!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Ohhhh, Decisions.
So I already spent a lot of time blogging today, I'll keep this brief:
I made a decision! All on my own! MostlyI just gathered information, sought counsel, made my pros/cons list, prayed, thought it all through on my own, and came to a conclusion. The best part is that I really DO feel peace about it! I love the way the Lord speaks to my heart!
I'm going to drop one of my classes. All reasons regarding the class itself aside, my other classes are hurting (so I'll need more time to direct my attention/effort there, too...) and basically, I just don't want to hate life. So something needs to change again. Those two reasons are enough for me.
As soon as I thought to blog this, I was reminded of the only other time I dropped a class - I was living in Texas and going to school at Tyler Junior College and hated making decisions just as much as I do now. Here's my blog post from that experience: Decision Making - March 2010 -- It was SO great to read that post tonight and find encouragement in what the Lord taught me then, since it all applies again now!
He is faithful and will carry me through.
I am capable of making decisions and listening to the voice of the Lord!
Whew. Now, I'm going to sleep... waking up in 5 short hours. :- /
I made a decision! All on my own! MostlyI just gathered information, sought counsel, made my pros/cons list, prayed, thought it all through on my own, and came to a conclusion. The best part is that I really DO feel peace about it! I love the way the Lord speaks to my heart!
I'm going to drop one of my classes. All reasons regarding the class itself aside, my other classes are hurting (so I'll need more time to direct my attention/effort there, too...) and basically, I just don't want to hate life. So something needs to change again. Those two reasons are enough for me.
As soon as I thought to blog this, I was reminded of the only other time I dropped a class - I was living in Texas and going to school at Tyler Junior College and hated making decisions just as much as I do now. Here's my blog post from that experience: Decision Making - March 2010 -- It was SO great to read that post tonight and find encouragement in what the Lord taught me then, since it all applies again now!
He is faithful and will carry me through.
I am capable of making decisions and listening to the voice of the Lord!
Whew. Now, I'm going to sleep... waking up in 5 short hours. :- /
Sooo... WHEN will I ever learn?!
Alright, people.
This is getting a little ridiculous.
God is SO specific and intentional in how He interacts with, teaches, and directs us. I truly believe that and definitely see evidence of it weaved all throughout my life. I absolutely LOVE when I can see how He specifically works in my life or in other people's lives.
My struggle is in that I know I've been enduring a particularly difficult season for the past month or so and the weight of the struggle is definitely wearing me down. The great part is that I can clearly see how I have drawn nearer to the Lord through this time... I have been purposeful in seeking Him and standing on truth and cherishing the blessing of community. The not-so-great part is that I feel like I can SEE what I'm supposed to be learning in the midst of the struggle... but I must not be "getting" it because I just. keep. struggling... and enduring.
I chose to quit a smaller than part-time childcare job because my schedule was too much to handle. I am trying to decide whether or not I need to drop a class - partially because I don't have the time to put into it and partially because I am consistently doing poorly on assignments and our midterm is tomorrow - so I'm nervous. I got my British Literature midterm back today and I failed it. Literally. I am processing foreign emotions and trying to understand my own heart and trying to understand the Lord's Will in all of it. I had a cold for a week... and I rarely get sick. I have to practice patience like crazy when working with a 4 and 7 year old early in the mornings.
I know that sometimes life is just hard. It's only a season. This will NOT last forever.
When I got my Brit Lit test back today and saw the grade I just wanted to laugh and my first thought was, "Seriously, Lord?! I must have more to learn (and I don't mean about literature!)."
The resounding message of my life right now is DEPENDENCE. What does it mean to depend on God fully... to trust in Him with everything I have.... to lean not on my own understand, but acknowledge Him in all my ways? I think that this highly correlates to identity. I rely on HIM to determine who I am, not on anything I conjure up in my own successes or failures. (or what grades I earn, how much money I have, what people say/think about me, etc, etc.) What does it look like to DO this tangibly? Well, clearly, I have no idea. :) But I know that it has to do with being grounded in truth, surrounding yourself with a community of Believers, and taking your thoughts captive. When I get that test back with the horrible grade on it that I studied for hours on I don't allow it to change my identity in any way based on the type of thoughts that I allow myself to think on.
And not giving up. We PRESS ON toward our goal. So that's what I shall do. :)
This is getting a little ridiculous.
God is SO specific and intentional in how He interacts with, teaches, and directs us. I truly believe that and definitely see evidence of it weaved all throughout my life. I absolutely LOVE when I can see how He specifically works in my life or in other people's lives.
My struggle is in that I know I've been enduring a particularly difficult season for the past month or so and the weight of the struggle is definitely wearing me down. The great part is that I can clearly see how I have drawn nearer to the Lord through this time... I have been purposeful in seeking Him and standing on truth and cherishing the blessing of community. The not-so-great part is that I feel like I can SEE what I'm supposed to be learning in the midst of the struggle... but I must not be "getting" it because I just. keep. struggling... and enduring.
I chose to quit a smaller than part-time childcare job because my schedule was too much to handle. I am trying to decide whether or not I need to drop a class - partially because I don't have the time to put into it and partially because I am consistently doing poorly on assignments and our midterm is tomorrow - so I'm nervous. I got my British Literature midterm back today and I failed it. Literally. I am processing foreign emotions and trying to understand my own heart and trying to understand the Lord's Will in all of it. I had a cold for a week... and I rarely get sick. I have to practice patience like crazy when working with a 4 and 7 year old early in the mornings.
I know that sometimes life is just hard. It's only a season. This will NOT last forever.
When I got my Brit Lit test back today and saw the grade I just wanted to laugh and my first thought was, "Seriously, Lord?! I must have more to learn (and I don't mean about literature!)."
The resounding message of my life right now is DEPENDENCE. What does it mean to depend on God fully... to trust in Him with everything I have.... to lean not on my own understand, but acknowledge Him in all my ways? I think that this highly correlates to identity. I rely on HIM to determine who I am, not on anything I conjure up in my own successes or failures. (or what grades I earn, how much money I have, what people say/think about me, etc, etc.) What does it look like to DO this tangibly? Well, clearly, I have no idea. :) But I know that it has to do with being grounded in truth, surrounding yourself with a community of Believers, and taking your thoughts captive. When I get that test back with the horrible grade on it that I studied for hours on I don't allow it to change my identity in any way based on the type of thoughts that I allow myself to think on.
And not giving up. We PRESS ON toward our goal. So that's what I shall do. :)
Monday, September 26, 2011
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
C.S. Lewis
C.S. Lewis
A Great Weekend AND [surprisingly] a Great Start to the Week!
This weekend was full and fun and refreshing, as usual. I have especially enjoyed weekends since starting school as the weekdays are exhausting! I didn't do ANY homework on Saturday or Sunday - which is not normal, or recommended. I did however, take a two hour nap on Friday AND get more homework done than I planned on doing, so it's all good. :) Saturday I went to my first Bible Study in a series on the fruit of the Spirit - it went SO well! Then I went rock climbing with a group of friends - rather, I watched from the bottom while they climbed. ;-) THEN I went to the first BSU home football game - so fun!! I got to spend a lot of time chatting with my good friend, Molly, too. I love talking with her because she's GREAT at asking questions that make me think. I'm so grateful for her friendship! Sunday was full of church, Extreme Life, grocery shopping, laundry, and a neighborhood "social" with Lindsay and Liz... then I made the wise decision to go to bed early. (I never regret that decision! Especially on a Monday morning.)
I seriously think that this is the first Monday morning that I haven't dreaded the coming week... I must be making it through this season of endurance/perseverance. Praise God! It's been difficult, but oh so fruitful in my life. I totally see how God has used the past month to grow me and stretch me and draw me near to Him. For that, I am truly grateful. I know that this week will be hard (midterm in my most difficult class, a LOT of reading to catch up on, etc), but it doesn't have to be BAD. I know that God is working in me and shaping me into the confident, godly woman that He created me to be - and that gives me JOY!
I seriously think that this is the first Monday morning that I haven't dreaded the coming week... I must be making it through this season of endurance/perseverance. Praise God! It's been difficult, but oh so fruitful in my life. I totally see how God has used the past month to grow me and stretch me and draw me near to Him. For that, I am truly grateful. I know that this week will be hard (midterm in my most difficult class, a LOT of reading to catch up on, etc), but it doesn't have to be BAD. I know that God is working in me and shaping me into the confident, godly woman that He created me to be - and that gives me JOY!
Friday, September 23, 2011
A Little Rest for the Weary...
This morning I got up at 5:00 and spent time with Jesus, which was wonderful and refreshing as usual.
Then I went to work from 6:30-9:20. Then I came home and slept from 9:30-11:15. I feel SO great. I'm pretty sure I could have just stayed in bed and been content sleeping off and on for the next 5 hours or so. :)
I had planned on getting 4-5 or more hours of homework done today like I did on Monday and Wednesday of this week... but I know that REST is the wise choice for today. I'm going to just stay home tonight to make myself a good dinner, get some homework done, prepare for my Bible Study in the morning, and go to bed early. Sounds like a pretty fabulous Friday night to me!
Rest is necessary. I know that tomorrow will be a long day - I'm going to the first home football game of the season! SO excited! Sunday will be full of church and getting through the homework that I'm intentionally not doing today. But that's okay. I've worked really hard this week... the past several weeks. So it's OKAY that I took a 2 hour nap. Sometimes a little sleep is all you need... I highly suggest it.
Happy Friday!
Then I went to work from 6:30-9:20. Then I came home and slept from 9:30-11:15. I feel SO great. I'm pretty sure I could have just stayed in bed and been content sleeping off and on for the next 5 hours or so. :)
I had planned on getting 4-5 or more hours of homework done today like I did on Monday and Wednesday of this week... but I know that REST is the wise choice for today. I'm going to just stay home tonight to make myself a good dinner, get some homework done, prepare for my Bible Study in the morning, and go to bed early. Sounds like a pretty fabulous Friday night to me!
Rest is necessary. I know that tomorrow will be a long day - I'm going to the first home football game of the season! SO excited! Sunday will be full of church and getting through the homework that I'm intentionally not doing today. But that's okay. I've worked really hard this week... the past several weeks. So it's OKAY that I took a 2 hour nap. Sometimes a little sleep is all you need... I highly suggest it.
Happy Friday!
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