MORE Than Conquerers!

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No in all these things we are MORE than conquerers through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35-39

-----------------------------------------------

Doesn't that make you excited?! These verses just now came to mind as I sat down to write... because it makes me EXCITED that God truly works all things together for the good of those who love Him and that no trouble or stress or terrible situation or unthinkable tragedy could EVER separate me from the love of my heavenly Father.  

I think I'm in a new season... well, I guess I know I am. The first six-ish weeks of school were incredibly difficult, yet fruitful. I've had a few extra days off from school + work to play catch up. I dropped a class, which opened up my schedule. I struggled fervently through that specific refining process that I was in (and will continue to be in different ways) and then I saw breakthrough! I saw the lies and the fear and decided to move beyond it - this brought me to a new understanding of what it truly means to trust the Lord. I knew I needed to make some kind of change fast when I realized I was putting so much trust in other people that I would follow them before I even considered seeking the Lord. Ouch! BUT - the Lord is GOOD and GRACIOUS and I am made new!

There is HOPE. For we know that in the midst of those struggles and hardships... that is not the end! We are MORE than conquerers, which means we will come out on the other side of the struggle and hardship by the grace of God. His love never leaves us. No matter how distant you may feel. He is ALWAYS by your side and pulling you through.

Lookin' Back

[Apparently I'm not really into finishing words that end in "ing" today...]

Can I just take a moment to say that GOD IS GOOD!?!

[Thanks.]

It blows me away to look back in both the distant and not-so-distant past and see clearly how God has been shaping me in every situation. His plan far outweighs the seemingly impossible struggle at the time. When you can look at who you are now and see that because of His grace you are different than you were then... yeah, that's a miracle. He is making me BOLD - something that I wrote an insane amount about this summer. I see the reality of this verse: "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6). I do believe that what God starts He will finish as we are obedient and choose to surrender.

I don't know about you, but this makes me excited!!! It's kind of fun to "look back" and see growth.... it's probably a sign that I'm on the right track. ;-)

Feelin' Sleepy...

I went to bed on time last night... kind of. I was only a LITTLE late. But the amount of tiredness I have felt so far this morning definitely exceeds what I should feel for only being a little late to bed. It really doesn't help that it is raining outside, which just makes me want to curl up with a soft blanket and a good book and eat soup for lunch. And maybe take a little nap. And watch Pride and Prejudice. Ahh, the perfect day! Instead, my first of four classes starts in 5 minutes, I need to work on two essays and get caught up on reading, and I'm hoping to make it to life group tonight.

Well, I guess I should go get some coffee. Sorry for the lack of insight and wit in this post today. ;-)

Some Much Needed Refreshment -

I am so grateful that God has blessed me with a few refreshing days in a row... that hasn't happened in a LONG time!

- On Friday I got everything done on my list of things to do (That's always refreshing for me!)
- Friday night I enjoyed a nice drive (except for the nausea part) up to McCall with my dear friend, Lindsay
- I had a wonderfully relaxing time at the CRU Fall Retreat, met some new people, heard from a great speaker, absolutely loved being in the mountains, and was so proud of Jake for speaking/sharing his testimony on Saturday night
- Sunday morning I slept in, did laundry & ironing, cleaned, and went to church (I love calm, slow-paced mornings...)
- Besides going to church, I just stayed HOME. What a rare blessing.
- This morning I got coffee with my friend, Kayla, and just enjoyed some good conversation. I love that girl!

I feel ready to take on the week... not because I have everything done that I need to or because I'm looking forward to spending another full day at school tomorrow or figuring out how/when to get my car fixed or buying plane tickets for upcoming trips or any of the other number of things that happen to be on my mind... I feel ready to take on the week because of enjoying a few days of refreshment and being reminded yet again that I do not have to have it all together. Okay, now take a deep breath and say that to yourself. ;-) We do not have to have it all together. Why do we think that we do? It is a complete lack of trust and surrender on my part when I try to figure it all out just to appear to be in control.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4

Enjoyment

*Felicia, this one's for you! We've had many conversations in the past year about enjoyment and whenever I see it play out (or NOT play out) in my life, I always think of you.

What does it mean to truly enjoy life?

There are SO many hundreds of things that pull our attention one way or another: family, friends, job, volunteer responsibilities, classes, homework, grades, random expectations (either legitimate or perceived), financial planning/recovery, health, etc, etc, etc. It could be anything. In my experience, which is not extensive by any means, it's when I get wrapped up in all of those things and try to make sure I'm right on track with "where I'm supposed to be" that I stop enjoying life and start to become anxious and legalistic.

[Read: 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Bam.]

So, what does it mean to truly enjoy life? Do what you love. Be yourself. Remember to find peace and joy in the LITTLE things. I love the little things! Sometimes it's a nice reminder to write a list of some "little things" that you enjoy. Then, when you find yourself getting caught up in the mess of those big things that weigh you down, pick one to enjoy.

Some of my little things are... sitting by fireplaces, reading a book for fun, taking a bubble bath, cooking dinner, watching one of my favorite movies with my favorite popcorn and some hot chocolate, going for a walk, looking through old photo albums, getting ice cream with friends, going for a drive, journaling, finding new music that I love, a video chat with a friend who lives far away...

Sometimes you just need to take a step back and look at the big picture. This situation likely does not determine the rest of my life. I'm in it to learn and persevere to build character and become a stronger woman... but God does not want us to wish every day away because it seems unbearable. Yes, life is hard. We all know that. But we can choose to enjoy it. It's NOT wrong to take the time to do what you love!

Today I walked the kids to school in the rain - finally able to get my rainboots, winter coat and scarf out! Love it! - and now I'm back sitting by the fire and drinking coffee. I truly love this! Tonight I get to enjoy good conversation with a friend. What a great day this will be!

How are you enjoying life today?

I think it's a list kind of day!

1. It's rainy and getting a little chilly outside - I love it! Definitely ready for winter to be here. Time to get out sweaters and scarves and carmel apple cider!

2. I am about to head to a class that I am NOT prepared for - I don't love that so much! But really it just makes me smile, because this experience fits nicely along with the exact thing that God has been teaching me. I've always said that I learn through repetition and hearing something over and over again... I guess this is just an example of that. Another reminder that my identity is not found in what I do or how well I do it; God's love is not based on earthly measurements of success/failure; and I need to stop worrying about what other people think! Lord, please PLEASE help me learn this lesson soon!

3. I overslept this morning... and now I just want to take a nap.

4. I don't normally have a "verse of the day," but I thought it would be a good idea for today. This is the truth I'm clinging to: Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

5. Between yesterday and today my blog traffic has SKYROCKETED! I've had over 100 views. I wonder if this has anything to do with the big news I shared...  ;-) 

FB Official

I guess if it's on facebook, that means I can FINALLY talk about it on my blog!

More posts than you know have been extremely vague (at least I meant them to be) in the past several months. Well, since January. Sometimes I have to remind myself that my blog is not my journal and what  ANYONE can see it. So I'd either just save it for my journal or try to be as ambiguous as possible. 

I kind of want to just keep being vague because I don't really know how to start this lovely little story. I'll just try to hit the key points... and hopefully leave out anything that resembles a soap opera. :)

.......................

You may or may not know the whole story; if anything, you probably know bits and pieces. This is the most up-to-date story of where I'm at:

So I'm dating a guy named Jake. :)

We met last January because he came to my college life group... and then we had a class together that semester, which means we spent a LOT of time together. He started pursuing me and was VERY confident and I was VERY excited and VERY much scared out of my mind. A lot happened in the next few months, but I decided in May that it was not going to work out and we could not continue in a relationship. (Whatever that meant - we were dating... and we were exclusive.... but we didn't call it anything. So that's confusing. Yes, I ended our "non" relationship.)

The next 5 months were full of a LOT of different emotions for me. I see SO much purpose in that season it's ridiculous. God truly is sovereign and so, so purposeful in our lives! I needed to step away from the possibility of being in a relationship with a man, so I could be reminded of what it means to be in relationship with God and completely depend on Him. (That's the short story, but I could seriously talk for hours and not cover everything that God has done in me recently.)

So the past several weeks I've been processing through my feelings. (really this has been happening off and on for a long time...) I've talked a lot to my good friend, Molly, who happens to be married to Jake's best friend, which means she brings a very interesting perspective. :) She asks some great questions! After I realized where my heart really is, we discussed the possibility of me having a conversation with Jake to let him know where I'm at. Jared, Molly's husband, gave some great advice: if you've ever seen the movie Dumb and Dumberer, then you probably know the scene where the guys says, "So you're sayin' there's a chance?!" That's really all I wanted to convey - I'm just saying that I'm open to there being a chance. (which is drastically different than the last message I gave him!) I had NO idea how he'd respond, and honestly thought that I was just going to do what I decided to do and would see little to no change. I didn't even know that I was making the "right" decision. I just knew that I had enough reasons TO have the conversation, and I'd worry about the rest later.

Well, we had that conversation and clearly things went well!

I am choosing to enter into this relationship without fear obstructing my view. I just want to "see what happens," rather than getting caught up in trying to figure out what WILL happen before I even agree to really get to know him. I have new perspective about SO many things (people pleasing, relationships, making decisions, following the Lord, etc), which is part of what will make me respond differently this time. This is not at all what I expected to happen a week ago - but it did happen and I feel complete peace. It truly seems as though this is a "natural" progression, which is not something I felt before.

Mostly, this whole relationship thing is extremely NEW to me.

I think it'll take a while for the shock to wear off. :-) I'm even surprised at the decisions that I made all on my own - just between me and the Lord - not consulting every friend I have all across the country. Though I value those friendships, the more diverse advice I get, the more my head spins.

All of that to say... now you can pray for Jake and me. :)