Lost in Transition

Sometimes I can take things one day at a time with a great amount of peace and confidence in my heart. I just roll with the punches, laugh at the silly roadblocks, change plans with ease, and communicate like a normal, sane person. 

Other times, though, there's a whole lot of panicking going on. Panicking that starts with quick breathing, foggy thoughts and cloudy memory, inability to decide on what to have for dinner (nevermind any kind of major life decision), and in extreme cases - jumping to ridiculous conclusions. It seems I have a much more radical imagination during these panicky times.

I know the truth that I can TRUST the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. I need to acknowledge HIM in all my ways, and He will make my paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6) 

I also know that God has a plan and it's a darn good one! Rather than panicky, I should be celebrating that He's already got it under control and I can simply rest in Him.

But sometimes the weight of the transition becomes too much.

I couldn't sleep last night and in the tangle of a thousand thoughts bouncing around, I somehow came to this silly conclusion:

I'm not very good at transition.
Life is just one big ball of transition.
I'm not very good at life.

I wrote this down in my journal this morning... because it made me chuckle.

Yes, life is FULL of one transition after another. Yes, my natural tendency is to hide from big, scary change. But reality is, that is only a teensy tiny part of what's actually happening.

Reality is, I'm PSYCHED about this transition!
I may feel a little lost or overwhelmed at times, but I am fully confident that I'm moving in the right direction and I'm exactly where God wants me to be. That confidence outweighs the opposing feelings by far.

In all of my over-analyzing, fact-seeking, and detail-figuring, I am still SO stoked to be living life on an adventure serving God! I would much prefer THIS, than anything else. I don't want a comfortable, safe, or stagnant life. I want to be on the front lines. 

It really is all about the journey. God is teaching me so much, even before I get to Moscow. He has a plan for me this summer... He has a plan for me TOMORROW. 

Am I ready to embrace whatever comes tomorrow - frustration or fear - as a part of the big-picture journey He has me on?