Thankfulness on Thursday. I mean everyday.

Writing brings me such joy... but in the last several weeks, my time writing has mostly revolved around the history of the English language, from a linguists perspective of course, feminism/classism/racism and pretty much every other ism you can think of, and then some rhetorical analysis thrown in for good measure. Happy three-more-weeks-until-summer-break to me! Aka -- when I can officially begin to write about whatever the heck I want for all of those three and a half sweet months without feeling guilty for not writing for classes. 

This afternoon I am going to spend a few hours finishing up a linguistics exam, which will require a lot of writing and a lot of mental energy, so I decided that it would be acceptable to "take it easy" this morning. 

I'm learning a little bit about that right now. Yes, I'm learning about balance for the 982734872398 time in my life. It probably won't be the last time either. It astonishes me how thick-headed I can be. ;-)

Last night I even watched TV without feeling guilty. Shock. Yesterday I worked from 7-1, went to class, started that linguistics exam, went to another class (three hour discussion on feminism in India), and then went home. I wasn't ready to go to bed, but I sure was drained. Every minute of my day seemed to be full of something productive; I worked hard. It was a little freeing to acknowledge that, and make the choice to just rest.

Now, I would probably never place "watch TV" on a list of my favorite restful things. But it was sufficient. And it was a step toward a life of balance in choosing to take care of myself guilt-free, rather than give in to the feeling that I need to spend every waking moment becoming a more "successful" version of myself. I don't want each day to be a competition against the day before.

Sometimes I act like success is defined by how few hours I sleep at night and how many checks on my list of things to do I can tally up during the course of a day. Busy-ness for bragging rights. 

When, in light of eternity, how many of these things actually matter? 
What are the things that will burn away on the day of judgment, and what things will last forever? 

So back to thankfulness. It is Thursday and I haven't written a "Thankful Thursday" post in eons. At least that's what it feels like. I miss blogging regularly, and I can tell that it does my heart good because without stopping at least once a week to meditate on the things I'm thankful for... sometimes priorities get messed up and my heart becomes weary. 

I've written many times about how when a heart is full of gratitude, there is no more room to be grumpy. I see that in my life constantly. It's all about perspective & what I choose to focus on. "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." Or "For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of" (Luke 6:45). What is YOUR heart full of today? Is that what is consuming your thoughts and coming out of your mouth?

Today I'm thankful for the beautiful sunshine and the walk that the kids and I took today.

I'm thankful for a rested body even though I've been getting much less sleep than usual this week.

I'm thankful for the desire I have to WRITE and live out the passions that God has tucked inside my heart.

I'm thankful for opportunities to serve Him through ministering to college students at Boise State.

I'm thankful for the incredibly supportive friends & family that I've been blessed with.

I'm thankful for the motivation and diligence to finish the semester strong... and my entire undergrad career. (come December, anyways!)

I'm thankful for my amaaaazing little brother who is serving God wholeheartedly AND graduating from college in a week! I so wish I could be there.

I'm thankful for God's word that is stored up in my heart and His gentle reminders of truth.

I'm so thankful for God's abundant provision -- financially, emotionally, mentally, physically. He cares for the needs of His children.

I'm thankful that I get to see my momma in a few short days!!!

I'm thankful (and EXCITED!!!) that I get to return to Panama this summer and lead some missionaries in preaching the Word of God boldly and believing Him for miracles in the lives of the Kuna and Embera people groups. I'm thankful for THIS opportunity to continue to experience the love of God, preach truth, grow in confidence, and build relationships.

I'm thankful that I don't have to be perfect. I'm thankful for grace.

My heart is FULL. Even though life seems crazy, chaotic, and sometimes confusing... I acknowledge these blessings. I have so much to be thankful for! Thank you, Jesus, for a change of heart.