Basking.

This train of thought it very interesting... I hope you can follow it; it really makes perfect sense to me. :)

I've been very much "lost in thought" recently. I have chosen to simply sit and THINK on multiple occasions this week. Sometimes it drives me crazy because I feel like I just "think" myself around in circles, but it just seems necessary right now.

I went to the Global Expeditions commissioning night last night. It's the BIG night on campus where we cast vision and prepare to send the missionaries all over the world starting in just a few hours from when I wrote this. It is a very special time of worship, prayer, unity and vision. I am not going on a trip for another few weeks, but I went to observe and pray over those who are being sent out.

After walking amongst the teams, I found a bench and sat down. I pulled my knees up to my chest and turned my eyes toward the dark, night sky to stare at the stars. I thought about some times. I prayed about some things. I sang along with the worship songs that the band played. I argued with some of the things that I had thought about. I poured my heart out to God. I cried only a little bit. Basically - a lot of vulnerability was happening. Nobody else was sitting with me - but sometimes it takes a lot of courage to even be real with yourSELF.

I've been learning about prayer for a long time and asking the Lord to give me a heart for prayer like I have never known before; I want to grow in deeper intimacy with the Lord and cultivate a desire to dwell in His presence. So after this awesome night of commissioning the missionaries and sitting on my bench under the stars and THINKING so dang much, I thought of the word "BASK."

It reminds me of a painting that I made during the Spring Fasting LTE my intern year. The painting is of a setting sun... or maybe a rising sun... I haven't officially decided yet. In the peachy colors of teh sun I wrote the phrase, "Bask in His Glory." In the blue of the sky above the sun are the words, "Find comfort in His peace." BASK. Just to be. To dwell.

I do not understand why my mind has been so inundated with thoughts of everything from family to relationships to the future to the present to work and emotions and priorities... and as frustrating as it may be Lord, just let me bask. Synonyms of bask: streth out, relax. To relax is to unwind, calm down, LET GO, and rest. Jesus - I want to bask in your presense. Help me to find my peace in who YOU are, and not in anything that my heart may wander after. Keep my attentions fixed solely on you and your purposes.