"You who are TRYING..."

"You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope."

Galatians 5:4-5

Trying

Striving

Conforming

Performing

Excelling

Compelling

It's all a race to the finish line, right? Or, at least to the end of the week...

Even if I'm not racing with other people, I am definitely racing myself -- for some reason I feel the need to beat my "record" from last week & do more, be better, think smarter, walk faster, wake up earlier, and please every person I meet along the way.

This need for "bigger & better" is definitely cultural, no doubt. But I think it's more than just a result of Western culture. It's also a result of the fallen (sinful) nature of mankind. It comes from this deep root in our hearts to look out for ourselves and come out on top.

Even though it often seems this is our only option - survival of the fittest? - God set a NEW way of doing things when He gave His Son, Jesus. 

Check out Galatians 4:21-31 where Paul explains the difference in living as children of the slave woman and the free woman, referring to Hagar and Sarah. (See also, Genesis 21 for the full story.)

God's new way of doing things relies less on the law and more on His grace, mostly because Paul tells us in Romans 3:23 that ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (the law -- the verse goes on to say that we "are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.") There is no way ever that we could muster up righteousness on our own. And yet we continue to strive for it all the time. It's a futile expedition.

Take a look at Galatians 5:4-5 again -- and let the Spirit of Truth revolutionize your world!!!

*with Kailene's amplified notes in brackets

"You who are trying to be justified by law [accepted/approved of/affirmed by following the rules and doing the 'right thing', checking skills/tasks off on a list] 

have been alienated from Christ; [separated, distanced]

you have fallen away from grace [God's grace becomes ineffective when we choose to live by the LAW rather than GRACE. When we don't receive the free gift of grace, we negate Jesus' death on the cross. It's not that grace is no longer offered or that we "lost our chance." This is when we do not live in the freedom of God's grace. See Gal. 5:1]

But by faith we eagerly await [how?] through the Spirit [what?] the righteousness [from CHRIST alone!] for which we hope." [We tend to try to create our own righteousness by living solely by the law -- legalism at it's finest.]

The truth of the Gospel packed in these two verses is more refreshing to my soul than I could even say! I am so thankful for new revelations of truth... and I pray that God's would use His word to speak to your heart, too.

NOTHING, but the Blood of Jesus. All my righteousness, Jesus in me.

1. What can wash away my sin?
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
   What can make me whole again?
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
   • Refrain:
     Oh! precious is the flow
     That makes me white as snow;
     No other fount I know,
     Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
2. For my pardon, this I see,
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
   For my cleansing this my plea,
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
3. Nothing can for sin atone,
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
   Naught of good that I have done,
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
4. This is all my hope and peace,
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
   This is all my righteousness,
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
5. Now by this I’ll overcome—
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
   Now by this I’ll reach my home—
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
6. Glory! Glory! This I sing—
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
   All my praise for this I bring—
   Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
   
   
   [Robert Lowry, 1876]

Persevere! Carry on!

I started my time with Jesus this morning slightly discouraged because I realized that I was 5 days behind on my Bible reading plan... which means I have a whole lot of Exodus and Leviticus to read in order to catch up. Unfortunately, I had limited time this morning and I didn't think that speed-reading through the temple requirements and such (though important!) in Exodus would be what I need to get through the day. So I put that reading plan off to finish later today and flipped over to Hebrews 4. "Randomly."

"There, remains, then a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their [see the first half of the chapter, in particular, verse 6] example of disobedience." (vs. 9-11)

These verses stood out to me for a few reasons...

1. We rest because we follow God's example.
2. "make every effort" -- strive, pursue
3. Sabbath-rest, God's rest, that rest -- a particular KIND of rest. This is different than just sleeping in to get more "rest." It is an intentional kind of rest, purposeful.

After last week's post, "Back to Bold," in which I decided on a change, one BIG thing was missing. You see, I can't just decide to be confident and bold and adventurous for Jesus all on my OWN. You know why? Because I get tired and worn out so darn easily. It's annoying.

This morning I had to be at work at 9:30 and my goal was to go to the gym AND spend time with the Lord before I went. I haven't really done that kind of morning routine since I was at Teen Mania... when all of my roommates were doing the same thing. (It's a whole lot different when you don't have a roommate to make sure you get out of bed!)

I got up a little later than planned.... but still had a great workout, then came home to a quiet house and had an incredibly refreshing quiet time. I prayed that God would multiply the few minutes I had and He did. Granted, 9:30 is two and a half hours later than I normally go to work... so tomorrow will be the real test, when my alarm goes off at 4:20! 

The small taste of resting in His peace - His shalom - this morning was worth it. Completely. I pray that it will be the last thing I think about before I go to sleep tonight and the first thing I think about in the morning, so that I don't have time to whine about getting out of my warm bed or press snooze on my alarm. 

Strive for peace. Do whatever it takes. Jesus is faithful and promises that when we seek Him, we will find Him. I am so grateful that I have a foundation of TRUTH to stand on all day long.

It's easy to make a declaration of change (i.e. - my epiphany last week), it's a whooooole different story to actually make a plan and follow through with it. It's about not giving up for anything. Plan with the end in mind and just keep moving forward! 

Back to Bold

I realized something this morning. 
As seasons come and go & phases of life naturally change there is a lot that is out of our control.
But not everything.
Yes, sometimes things change and we just have to adapt.
There are other times, though, where we need to MAKE change.

As I've been fervently trying to get settled into the new semester at school, consequently, I've gotten out of the habit of blogging. Really, writing in general. I haven't been consistent in journaling. And I clearly have not been blogging. I sure do miss it.

At the same time, I've been in this mild funk. (possibly contributing to my diminished desire to write)
I've claimed discontentment as the theme of this season and, therefore, chalk up every emotional dilemma and every weird/blah day to: "well, I'm just struggling with discontentment."
Justification, much?

-----------------

Don't claim your sin as your identity.

Don't get comfortable with struggles and let them cozy up in your heart.

---------------------------

As Paul says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things." Philippians 4:8

This isn't to say: "Deny your sin... forget about your struggles... just ignore them all!" There definitely is reason to pay attention, be on guard. Sin is not acceptable and struggles are very real. Deeper than actions that must be changed, are the thoughts that led to the actions. It all starts with what we allow our minds to dwell on. It's a battle!

We don't always choose the battle, but we can choose how we respond to it.

"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish arguments and every pretension [pretend/false thing] that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

I've decided that I'm not going to claim my struggle with sin (i.e. discontentment) as my identity. I'm going to CHOOSE to move right on out of this season. Not walk, RUN.

I'll need a little of this: truth & vulnerability.

And a little of this: coffee in cute, little mugs. Just because. Oh, and probably because in order to get some quality time with the Lord immersed in the two books pictured above, I will need to wake up earlier. So I guess it is realistic. :)

Also, I'm going to quit thinking back to six months ago and wish that I could be in that season of EXTREME contentment and lovin' life. I'm going to be grateful for where the Lord has me right now and all that He has done in my heart in that time! He uses both the good & the bad to mold, shape, and build us into instruments He can use to shine His light and bring Him glory. Why would I wish away that process of perfecting?

Refinement.
It's a new day. God is doing a NEW thing.

'I choose THIS DAY to be bold. No matter how I feel about it. 

Thankful for this simple, but profound realization... why wait?! I don't want to just wait and see when this season will happen to blow over. I see in the scriptures that I can choose what I think about and that my struggle does not form my identity. I am found in JESUS and, thankfully, my confidence comes from Him. I will move forward in freedom, knowing that I am His and He is mine. I am His beloved.

I get frustrated that the views of the world wear [to impair, deteriorate, or consume gradually by use or any continued process] on me. They probably wear on you, too. Your hope is shaky. Your joy diminishes. Your faith is fragile. All in all, you just grow a little skeptical. You start to settle for what seems safe and easy and makes sense. 

That is exactly the life that I want to stay FAR, far away from!

Lord, help us to run from what makes sense to the world and choose to take the path that few walk... to move forward in FAITH, not FEAR. 

3 in 1

Three-in-one... this is usually a DEAL. A steal. Three things for the price of one? Suh-WEET.

When it comes to retail. Or free coffee. Or the cell phone bill. Or college degrees.

But probably NOT when it comes to livin' three days in one 24 hour chunk of time. That's just too much for my little brain to handle.

I have a class on Wednesdays from 6-8:45pm, in which we are supposed to get a ten minute break halfway through. She warned us that sometimes we will be so heavily involved in discussion on the reading material that we will not even want our break! Last night, she assumed, was one of those nights. She assumed wrong. She looked at her watch around 8:00, after discussing Victorian Literature and Jane Eyre for two hours, and announced that we don't need a break tonight. 

I was so sad.

I mean, I love Jane Eyre and discussing literature as much as the next person, but I felt like I was on my third day by that point. By the time it gets dark outside, I don't even remember the morning. When we finally finished the oh-so-invigorating literary discussion, I hurried off to my car, drove home, brushed my teeth and climbed into bed. 

When my alarm went off, after almost eight hours of sleep, I was so sad again. 
Yes, eight hours. How is a person still so exhausted to the point of sadness after eight stinkin' hours?! Something is not right with this picture....

But then I chose to listen to "Today is the Day," by Lincoln Brewster, as I drove Chan to school... I just love sweet reminders of TRUTH, and I played that song intentionally because I knew I needed this particular reminder:

"This is the day the Lord has made; 

let us REJOICE and be GLAD in it." 

Psalm 118:24

Rejoice!
Not contingent on the contents or circumstances.
Simple acknowledgement that God MADE this day, regardless of how we feel about it and a call to action: REJOICE; be GLAD!

Because we have so much to be thankful for.

Because ultimately, God is in control. 

Because beauty comes from brokenness.

Because we are dust and deserve nothing; but God is full of mercy and grace and invites us to live a life of freedom.

Because our sins - all wrong doings, hurtful intentions, anything that moves us away from God - are washed away. In their place? A clean heart. Restoration.

Because His plans for you and me are GOOD. Not just a little good or sometimes good, but all the time.

Because He knows your heart intimately. He sees your sorrow and joy.

[Vol25, Etsy]

One Step at a Time

I am a huge advocate of TIME.

I would prefer to wake up earlier than necessary in the morning so I don't have to rush.

I need time to make decisions.

I always recommend couples take time in relationships.

But on the other hand... I really like to sleep in. Also, I don't like the actual process of decision making and my heart tends to try to skip to the end result so as to miss the messy middle part. And relationships? Shoot, that's just complicated. I'm the kind of girl who tries to figure out if I could marry him after the first coffee date. So, it's true, sometimes I forget the importance of time. Regardless of how much I may advocate it in counsel and conversation, my natural tendency is still to RUSH. 

I know it sounds like I'm contradicting myself. But let's just be real. I know you've done it, too.

It's kind of like Paul's frustration in the book of Romans, "As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing" (7:17-19)

Sure, I can appreciate the value of time and waiting and preparation.

But when it comes down to it, I don't generally live like I appreciate it.

I live like I want to wish it all away.

"The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days waiting for better ones ahead." - Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I love how this is worded... "The trick is to ENJOY life." It's a trick. A little known fact. The shortcut to JOY is learning to enjoy each day, rather than wishing them away in anticipation of what lies ahead.

It's somewhat comical that we do that. [anticipate "better" days ahead.]

We don't even know what lies ahead! 

Who am I that I can predict the future and assume that everything I plan and hope for will come to fruition the exact way that I plan and hope for them, too. 

Sure, sometimes that happens.

But probably more often than not we are surprised by what lies ahead... 

new opportunities.

adventures.

I have to remind myself {rather often} to simply take life one step at a time.

Contentment.

There's no need to get ahead of myself. 

Just live with what I have and where I'm at TODAY, and hold tomorrow with open hands and an open heart. 

Enjoy what you have today and get excited about whatever it is that God is preparing you for. 

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." 

-- Hebrews 11:1

Slippin' on the Ice

For those of you who don't know.... or who live in places like California or Texas... Boise has been COLD lately! Possibly the coldest temperatures I've ever experienced, with the added bonus of a few inches of snow on the ground for three and a half weeks. Then on top of all that white fluffy goodness (we all know how much I love the snow!), we had an ice storm yesterday morning. The roads were completely covered again and the snow everywhere else was topped with a thick layer of ice. 

Though we have had very little rain/snow since yesterday, when I opened my front door at 6:45 this morning, everything was especially shimmery, shiny and slick. Wearing my favorite, but not-so-weather-appropriate, winter shoes [moccasins] I made my way down the slope of the driveway to start my car and let it warm up.

Like I said, the snow has been around for so long that I've gotten used to it. Hence, the decision to wear moccasins. No big deal, right? I'm an old pro at this winter weather business.

Wrong, apparently.

I slid around a little bit, which made me smile. (I appreciate a good challenge.)

I made it about five steps farther when I slipped so bad I fell backwards - and luckily caught myself with my hands rather than my bum. That one made me laugh out loud. (I'm not quite sure why I found these things so hilarious this morning.) I kept going, but moved with slower, more sure footsteps and calculated balance. 

Then came the real test: driving. 

The only good thing about my car (besides the fact that it runs, for now), is that a friend let me use her snow tires this winter. Again, I'm pretty used to driving in the snow and such because it has lingered for so long. 

But after sliding down my driveway on my own two feet, I wasn't really sure how the driving attempt would go...

Fine.
It was completely fine.
I barely slid the whole way to work.

When I got to work my boss asked how the roads were. 
"Oh, driving was fine... it was walking I seemed to have trouble with!"

Isn't it maybe slightly humorous that I struggled and stumbled over the most basic task (walking), but the more difficult task (driving) was simple and smooth as can be?

Hmm. I see a correlation to life here. 

How often do we get hung up on the little things? 

To take that concept even a little further, if my legs had slipped out from under me and I lost my balance completely and fell with a smack to the icy pavement... that would have caused a lot more problems. One simple, quick decision to wear moccasins, to walk down the driveway instead of trudging safely through the snow in the yard, and walking a little to quickly and haphazardly for the icy conditions... they could have led to something more serious than a little sliding that only made me laugh.

So many times we allow "little" thoughts to slip into our minds and set up camp or "little" feelings to creep into our hearts and wreak havoc.

They don't start out as huge catastrophes, like crashing a car on the ice... just little, tiny, fleeting thoughts, like slippin' around on the ice in moccasins. 

Maybe it's just a little bit of envy. 
I wish I had a house like that.
I wish I had that car.
I wish I was in a relationship with a man/woman who cherished me.
I wish my bank account was brimming over with extra money for ski trips, school fees, textbooks, dinners out, giving awesome birthday presents, visiting my brother and sister-in-law, etc.
I wish everything I wanted to do in a week actually fit into the seven day period allotted.

[So many wishes, leads to discontentment, which leads to an UN-enjoyed life.]

Those sneaky little thoughts creep in and can reap major consequences.

Maybe it's just a little bit of worry.
How will I pay bills this month?
How will I ever get everything done that I need to do?
If I don't pass this test, then I won't pass this class, then I won't graduate from college.
What if 'they' think I'm just not good enough?

[So much worry, leads to insecurity, which leads to an UN-enjoyed life.]

... I think I see a pattern here.

It's not the UN-enjoyed life that leads to insecurity/worry or discontentment/envy. It's the opposite. It's the little things that we tend to get all tripped up on. Just like the ice on the driveway - no big deal compared to driving the car; but clearly caused greater problems.

There must be something to all those little things. I bet if you look at a life that is un-enjoyed, you will eventually come across something "little" that took root and grew into something big and out of control. We best be on guard and watch for those things.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." 

Hebrews 12:1-2

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 

1 Peter 5:8

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: 

God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." 

1 John 1:5-7 

Monday Morning Musings | Messed up sleep + Insecurities

Numero Uno -
Lesson Learned: Refrain *at all costs* from slipping in a two hour nap to recover from a messed up sleep schedule two days before classes start. This will probably result in over compensating for the lost sleep and cause you to be wide eyed and tossy-turny all. night. long. Not to mention the groggy-post nap feeling that might make you crave coffee at dinnertime. This, I assure you, will make matters worse. Then you just may want to cry when your electronic rooster alarm on your phone starts blaring at 5:30am. 

-------------------------------

Numero Dos - That moment of realization...
Not of greater understanding of truth or grace or love. 
Not a moment of peace or vision or direction. 
It's that moment of realizing that you acted in some way out of insecurity... maybe even knowingly at the time. Have you ever thought something like this: 
"I think that maybe the only reason I just said/did that is because I'm insecure. But I don't really know why, so I'm just going to go with it and figure it out later." 
There's just something in your 'gut' that says, "this is not right."
Sometimes I ignore those thoughts.
*cringe*
Gross. Sin is gross. This insecurity that is bubbling to the surface I think is rooted in pride. Yuck. 
It's rooted in pride and is carried out by fear of man... simply caring too much about what other people think. It's making the need for approval from other people in my life BIGGER than my fear, honor & trust in the Lord. Whatever you fear will control you, consume you.

Proverbs 29:25 "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."