I love the peace that comes from being led by the Spirit. It is so overwhelming! Last night as soon as I set my head on my pillow I heard a "sweet whisper of truth" and it was so amazing to be confident that it was from the Lord because (1) It was very clear and not confusing, and (2) I felt total peace! Conviction is from God and is full of grace; condemnation is from Satan and is full of guilt. I definitely have felt guilt and confusion... those things are NOT of the Lord. The overwhelming peace I felt from the simple prodding of the Spirit on my heart was so clear that there is no way that it is NOT from the Lord.
"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41: 13
This image of God taking hold of my hand is so beautiful... God is not distant from us! He wants to guide you and lead you and provide for you. James 4:8 says, "Come near to God and He will come near to you..." When I take my own prideful desire to control out of the equation, it is easy to see how God clearly leads me by His truth and peace.
...Funny how this has been similar in my relationship with Jake: I spent several months trying to be in control and freaking out when I lost it or didn't know what to do (which was often). There was confusion and discord and apprehension because that is not how God intended relationships to work - with Him OR each other. The past two and a half months, as I stepped into this relationship with Jake knowing that I have to be okay with not having all the answers and stop striving. Just be. In letting go of my desire to control, I've seen Jake step up to lead in ways that I never saw before... because I never let him. He is patient, gracious, kind, wise, gentle and knows when to speak truth.
My pride hindered his ability to lead.
Wow.
God created us to be humble in relationships. Jesus, teach me to be more like You.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Drum Roll, Please!
My former house-mate and fellow blogger, Stephanie at "Expecting the Unexpected" - a sweet, new mama of a beautiful 8 week old boy - nominated me for the Liebster Blog Award ... So Cool!!! In case you are a little lost, like I was, the word "liebster" is german for "beloved, dear, dearest, and love." How sweet! :)This is the FIRST ever blog award for Jubilee, and it came at the most convenient time, too. I log onto blogspot often, and usually start writing a paragraph or two, but only sometimes do I end up actually posting what I've written. Maybe I've been focusing on school (yay for the end of the semester!) or maybe I've been too overwhelmed with my own thoughts to even understand what I'm learning and then write it out... maybe I've been lazy, or maybe it's just your typical writer's block. Whatever it is, I know that I love writing and I'm so passionate about becoming a woman of influence (Just started reading that book by Carol Kent, Becoming a Woman of Influence -- [Click HERE to check out the book on amazon!]) AND helping other women become confident, patient, trusting, free from the bondage of fear and full of peace. For that reason, I will continue to write.
All of that being said, I'm so grateful to my friend, Stephanie, who nominated me for this award and I hope that it will be the encouragement I need to buckle down and write! :-)
I am nominating:
Kyle Power - My Brother - Fully Surrendered
Ria Thurston - Beautiful Mama-to-be! - Life as a Wife
Lisa Hasz - I've learned SO much from this amazing mom!!! - Adventures of Hank, JoJo & Boo
Jessica Kim - Lovely WIFE-to-be! - Returning
*Thank you all for writing!* Friends, be sure to check out this wonderful blogs!!
- Steph: I titled this blog before I realized that's how you started out your post. Great minds think alike! ;-)
--------------------------------------------------------
On another note - Christmas break is finally here! I am so grateful for a reprieve from the craziness of my typically too full schedule. (I do that to myself far too often.) Although, when breaks like this DO come around, I have to keep myself from becoming restless and remember that it's OKAY to sleep in and watch movies and relax a little. The restlessness just ensures that I don't become lazy for TOO long. It's okay every once in a while... but it will be short-lived. In a week from now I'll be getting ready to fly to Portland for Christmas. Let me tell you, my ten day "vacation" in Portland will be anything BUT restful. That's okay, though - I don't go there to rest, that's for sure! I go there to visit family and friends and have fun downtown, at Mt. Hood, or at the beach. Hopefully I can squeeze in two out of three of those destinations on this fairly long trip home... and I get to spend a couple days in Eugene to see my sister, brother-in-law, nephews and aunt! I guess it's a good thing I have a few days to rest up before my trip. :) I decided to make a few Christmas presents this year... wasn't too impressed with my crafty-inspiration today... hopefully tomorrow will prove to be full of more creativity. :)
All of that being said, I'm so grateful to my friend, Stephanie, who nominated me for this award and I hope that it will be the encouragement I need to buckle down and write! :-)
So here are the rules:
- Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you
- Reveal your top 5 blog picks for this award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog
- Copy and paste the award on your blog
- Have faith that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers
I am nominating:
Kyle Power - My Brother - Fully Surrendered
Ria Thurston - Beautiful Mama-to-be! - Life as a Wife
Lisa Hasz - I've learned SO much from this amazing mom!!! - Adventures of Hank, JoJo & Boo
Jessica Kim - Lovely WIFE-to-be! - Returning
*Thank you all for writing!* Friends, be sure to check out this wonderful blogs!!
- Steph: I titled this blog before I realized that's how you started out your post. Great minds think alike! ;-)
--------------------------------------------------------
On another note - Christmas break is finally here! I am so grateful for a reprieve from the craziness of my typically too full schedule. (I do that to myself far too often.) Although, when breaks like this DO come around, I have to keep myself from becoming restless and remember that it's OKAY to sleep in and watch movies and relax a little. The restlessness just ensures that I don't become lazy for TOO long. It's okay every once in a while... but it will be short-lived. In a week from now I'll be getting ready to fly to Portland for Christmas. Let me tell you, my ten day "vacation" in Portland will be anything BUT restful. That's okay, though - I don't go there to rest, that's for sure! I go there to visit family and friends and have fun downtown, at Mt. Hood, or at the beach. Hopefully I can squeeze in two out of three of those destinations on this fairly long trip home... and I get to spend a couple days in Eugene to see my sister, brother-in-law, nephews and aunt! I guess it's a good thing I have a few days to rest up before my trip. :) I decided to make a few Christmas presents this year... wasn't too impressed with my crafty-inspiration today... hopefully tomorrow will prove to be full of more creativity. :)
Monday, December 5, 2011
Priorities - They happen whether you plan it or not!
On my first night attending Fuel - a Campus Crusade weekly meeting @ BSU - Billie spoke on priorities and how we spend our time. I left with this nugget: the things that I choose to spend my time, energy, and money on are the things that are most important to me. It's interesting to me that it doesn't matter how much I say something is the most important or simply decide that something is my highest priority. I can say, "I love you" from dawn til dusk, but if I don't back up that phrase with quality time and meaningful actions, the words mean nothing.
Sometimes I feel like something should be most important to me, like SCHOOL, for example. Culturally, it is engrained in me that I need to finish my degree as soon as possible (to be successful) and get straight A's (to be successful) and spend countless hours studying (to be successful). Even though I know I operate out of this mindset far too often, I have SO much to say against it!
(1) What is success really?! Do I want to be deemed a "successful, confident woman" by the world's standards of competition, greed, and power or by the standards of a godly woman? One who possesses wisdom, grace, and dignity?
(2) "Success" - no matter how you define it - is NOT where my identity is found, so I need to stop searching for it there!
(3) School is not my number one priority... so I need to stop acting like it is. Yes, I want to do well and be a good steward of the money that the Lord has provided for me to even be ABLE to take classes this semester. But at the same time, I need to recognize that it really is okay that school isn't my number one priority. I don't have to try to hold up this image that it IS (attempting to spend my time that way) when it really is NOT (my time generally does not reflect that) because that will just lead to guilt... feeling like I failed in some way. But I really didn't FAIL anything, because school isn't my priority! I don't know if that makes any sense, but the devil sure is tricky in how he created this false ideal for me to live up to when I don't even really want to! wow. I would much rather spend my time reading (learning & growing), writing, focusing on college ministry, building relationships. THESE are the things that I was created to do and I don't want the silly struggle to appear successful to get in the way of that.
Clearly, I need to get my time, energy and money on the same page as my true priorities. The dictionary defines priorities as: "something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives." What is given or merits attention before competing alternatives in your own life? Is that the thing that you really want to hold the number one spot?
Sometimes I feel like something should be most important to me, like SCHOOL, for example. Culturally, it is engrained in me that I need to finish my degree as soon as possible (to be successful) and get straight A's (to be successful) and spend countless hours studying (to be successful). Even though I know I operate out of this mindset far too often, I have SO much to say against it!
(1) What is success really?! Do I want to be deemed a "successful, confident woman" by the world's standards of competition, greed, and power or by the standards of a godly woman? One who possesses wisdom, grace, and dignity?
(2) "Success" - no matter how you define it - is NOT where my identity is found, so I need to stop searching for it there!
(3) School is not my number one priority... so I need to stop acting like it is. Yes, I want to do well and be a good steward of the money that the Lord has provided for me to even be ABLE to take classes this semester. But at the same time, I need to recognize that it really is okay that school isn't my number one priority. I don't have to try to hold up this image that it IS (attempting to spend my time that way) when it really is NOT (my time generally does not reflect that) because that will just lead to guilt... feeling like I failed in some way. But I really didn't FAIL anything, because school isn't my priority! I don't know if that makes any sense, but the devil sure is tricky in how he created this false ideal for me to live up to when I don't even really want to! wow. I would much rather spend my time reading (learning & growing), writing, focusing on college ministry, building relationships. THESE are the things that I was created to do and I don't want the silly struggle to appear successful to get in the way of that.
Clearly, I need to get my time, energy and money on the same page as my true priorities. The dictionary defines priorities as: "something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives." What is given or merits attention before competing alternatives in your own life? Is that the thing that you really want to hold the number one spot?
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Good Coffee & a Great Convo.
I get SO excited about sharing life with people.
Being REAL - honest, genuine, caring, accountable.
I love, love, love relationships that truly lead me back to the Lord and remind me to walk humbly, in purity, and continue to trust Him in ALL circumstances.
This morning I met up with a dear friend, Grace, at one of my favorite coffeeshops. We sipped our coffees and just talked about life - where the Lord is taking us, struggles, victories, etc. She is such a beautiful woman of God! I left feeling tremendously encouraged and refreshed.
THIS is why God created community and desires that we live life TOGETHER.
It's not always easy... relationships can be confusing, consuming, and frustrating. When we learn how to work together, appreciate differences, communicate effectively and care deeply for one another... that changes everything. It's about being intentional.
Coffee is good... but sweet conversations like this with friends are GREAT.
Being REAL - honest, genuine, caring, accountable.
I love, love, love relationships that truly lead me back to the Lord and remind me to walk humbly, in purity, and continue to trust Him in ALL circumstances.
This morning I met up with a dear friend, Grace, at one of my favorite coffeeshops. We sipped our coffees and just talked about life - where the Lord is taking us, struggles, victories, etc. She is such a beautiful woman of God! I left feeling tremendously encouraged and refreshed.
THIS is why God created community and desires that we live life TOGETHER.
It's not always easy... relationships can be confusing, consuming, and frustrating. When we learn how to work together, appreciate differences, communicate effectively and care deeply for one another... that changes everything. It's about being intentional.
Coffee is good... but sweet conversations like this with friends are GREAT.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Rewind that and Switch it!
Going into a week feeling unprepared (aka - my homework isn't done) makes me feel sick to my stomach everytime. I hate that feeling! Last night when I was with Jake I made a harsh comment about how I wish this week were over and it hasn't even started yet... ONLY because I would rather not push myself to get homework done, or deal with the consequences when it's not done up to par, or done at all. :-/ I realized very quickly how that statement sounded (selfish, prideful, ungrateful, etc) and said, "Wait. I don't want to be like that and wish days away..." This week will be great and I have so much to be thankful for - I just need to make a little attitude adjustment. Each day contains joys and struggles, both of which are blessings.
I love seeing my thought processes laid out like that, but it's even cooler that I said it all out loud so Jake could hear it, too. After I tried to take back what I originally said and replace it with truth, I kind of laughed and said, "Well, you just witnessed me processing my thoughts in action!" I'm so glad that it didn't take long for truth to chase out the lies. It is so COMMON for people to wish for "tomorrow" - whatever tomorrow may hold, but I want to be content in the here and now and recognize the Lord's hand in each area of my life, whether it seems pleasant at the time or not. This week is surely not purposeless and I do not want to miss the many opportunities I will have to choose joy and share the love of Christ!
I love seeing my thought processes laid out like that, but it's even cooler that I said it all out loud so Jake could hear it, too. After I tried to take back what I originally said and replace it with truth, I kind of laughed and said, "Well, you just witnessed me processing my thoughts in action!" I'm so glad that it didn't take long for truth to chase out the lies. It is so COMMON for people to wish for "tomorrow" - whatever tomorrow may hold, but I want to be content in the here and now and recognize the Lord's hand in each area of my life, whether it seems pleasant at the time or not. This week is surely not purposeless and I do not want to miss the many opportunities I will have to choose joy and share the love of Christ!
Monday, November 21, 2011
The Value of TALKING
I just LOVE healthy communication! Mostly, because it generally leads to healthy relationships, which I am also passionate about. Being in a fairly new relationship (when do I stop calling it "new"?), I am learning everyday about healthy communication and how that affects us.
My natural tendency when things get hard is to put up walls, run away, stop talking completely... basically, I just shut down. Those are all the opposite of healthy communication, in case there was any question in any of your hearts. :) Clearly, I have a LOT to learn and grow in!
I love seeing the value of talking things out when I hear truth gently weaved in throughout the conversation and my heart is quickly directed back to Jesus. I could have easily just kept my mouth shut and continued down that spiral of fear and bitterness... just opening my mouth opens up my heart to hear truth and receive grace.
Sometimes it feels silly to talk about things or say what I'm thinking out loud, but if I don't say it... then he won't know it! I heard a really great sermon series by Craig Groeschel, Pastor of Life Church, called "The Vow." (highly recommend checking out this series: http://www.lifechurch.tv -- Click there and I believe you can watch all 4 parts.) One of the things I remember most is this: "If you think something good, say it." I've been trying to be intentional about doing that. When I like or appreciate something that Jake says or does, I want him to know it. I've seen how just this basic communication has opened our eyes. It is SO cool to me how God designed us to be in relationship with each other so purposefully!
The value of talking means that I recognize that it is crucial that I open up and respond rather than shutting down or withdrawing or ignoring it. I want to keep growing in healthy communication and not RUN from it!
My natural tendency when things get hard is to put up walls, run away, stop talking completely... basically, I just shut down. Those are all the opposite of healthy communication, in case there was any question in any of your hearts. :) Clearly, I have a LOT to learn and grow in!
I love seeing the value of talking things out when I hear truth gently weaved in throughout the conversation and my heart is quickly directed back to Jesus. I could have easily just kept my mouth shut and continued down that spiral of fear and bitterness... just opening my mouth opens up my heart to hear truth and receive grace.
Sometimes it feels silly to talk about things or say what I'm thinking out loud, but if I don't say it... then he won't know it! I heard a really great sermon series by Craig Groeschel, Pastor of Life Church, called "The Vow." (highly recommend checking out this series: http://www.lifechurch.tv -- Click there and I believe you can watch all 4 parts.) One of the things I remember most is this: "If you think something good, say it." I've been trying to be intentional about doing that. When I like or appreciate something that Jake says or does, I want him to know it. I've seen how just this basic communication has opened our eyes. It is SO cool to me how God designed us to be in relationship with each other so purposefully!
The value of talking means that I recognize that it is crucial that I open up and respond rather than shutting down or withdrawing or ignoring it. I want to keep growing in healthy communication and not RUN from it!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Ready... BREAK!
That is how "breaks" from school usually start... here comes Thanksgiving break and it's generally full of traveling, catching up on school work, visiting 563 friends and family members (it seems like that many!), eating a lot more than I should, probably a little shopping and movie viewing, and not much sleep. Not the kind of "BREAK" that I need. Especially going home to Portland, I never have a moment to BREATHE, nevermind blog or enjoy a little R&R. THIS break, though, began wonderfully.
I went with Jake this weekend to visit his parents and it was more relaxing and wonderful than I could have even imagined! His mom is a great cook, so we ate REALLY well. I learned how to make stuffed shells! They celebrated my birthday with me w/ an ice cream cake (including the candles and singing), gifts, chocolate and EVEN a nice little walk in the snow with the dogs. I love that it snowed! Saturday night we met an old friend of Jake's at Applebee's and I had an awesome time talking with his friend's wife - I just LOVE meeting people who I connect so well with because of our passion and love for God! I had such a great time. I am so very grateful for my little get-a-way to prepare for the next week...
Tomorrow is homework day + skype w/ Kelsey + Christmas tree lighting downtown!
Tuesday I fly to Portland to start the hectic part of vacation as I visit family, meet my brother's new girlfriend, see some old friends, endure the RAIN... then it'll be time to head back to Boise. :) SO looking forward to spending time with my family and enjoying some fun family traditions -- popcorn tins, puppy chow, thanksgiving food, movies. It will be great!
After Thanksgiving break there are only THREE weeks left until christmas break! I think the month of December will be a little bit of a reprieve. This semester has been pretty insane... mostly hard - in both good and bad ways. I am so grateful for how I've grown and how the Lord has been working in my life... but I have so much more growing to do! There are some lessons that I just can't seem to "get." I need to remember to allow myself time to "get it." Life is just a series of processes... which, in the big picture, is just the process of becoming refined - more and more like Jesus. So even when I don't see the outcome, I can rejoice because I am confident that God will not give up on me. He's just working on my heart everyday.
This is just a quick update - I know I've been HORRIBLE at blogging consistently. I need to get my thoughts organized and start over again. I know that going into the holidays is not going to help with consistency, but I'll try. :)
I went with Jake this weekend to visit his parents and it was more relaxing and wonderful than I could have even imagined! His mom is a great cook, so we ate REALLY well. I learned how to make stuffed shells! They celebrated my birthday with me w/ an ice cream cake (including the candles and singing), gifts, chocolate and EVEN a nice little walk in the snow with the dogs. I love that it snowed! Saturday night we met an old friend of Jake's at Applebee's and I had an awesome time talking with his friend's wife - I just LOVE meeting people who I connect so well with because of our passion and love for God! I had such a great time. I am so very grateful for my little get-a-way to prepare for the next week...
Tomorrow is homework day + skype w/ Kelsey + Christmas tree lighting downtown!
Tuesday I fly to Portland to start the hectic part of vacation as I visit family, meet my brother's new girlfriend, see some old friends, endure the RAIN... then it'll be time to head back to Boise. :) SO looking forward to spending time with my family and enjoying some fun family traditions -- popcorn tins, puppy chow, thanksgiving food, movies. It will be great!
After Thanksgiving break there are only THREE weeks left until christmas break! I think the month of December will be a little bit of a reprieve. This semester has been pretty insane... mostly hard - in both good and bad ways. I am so grateful for how I've grown and how the Lord has been working in my life... but I have so much more growing to do! There are some lessons that I just can't seem to "get." I need to remember to allow myself time to "get it." Life is just a series of processes... which, in the big picture, is just the process of becoming refined - more and more like Jesus. So even when I don't see the outcome, I can rejoice because I am confident that God will not give up on me. He's just working on my heart everyday.
This is just a quick update - I know I've been HORRIBLE at blogging consistently. I need to get my thoughts organized and start over again. I know that going into the holidays is not going to help with consistency, but I'll try. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)