Weird, weird, weird...

Well hello again. :)
It's nice to be back in blog world... I was really starting to love writing everyday.

It's also nice to be back in BOISE.
As I mentioned on Friday, I made a quick road trip to Las Vegas this weekend to see a friend get married and visit some family (Aunt, Uncle + Cousins). You can check out my vacation pictures here: Weekend in Vegas Pictures. I met up with a good friend, Brianna, in eastern Idaho and we drove the 10ish hours south to Vegas together. We were both INCREDIBLY blessed by my family there! It was so fun to see them and get a quick tour of this wild and crazy city. I will never again complain of traffic in Boise. That was a nightmare! I told Bri that once we got to the resort we were going to park the car and not move it the rest of the trip because driving in that city made me want to cry. I felt much better once we arrived safe and sound, showered, and ate some ice cream.

Now it's back to non-vacation life, which is just weird. (hence my silly title for this post) Do you ever stop to think about life and get overwhelmed by how strange it all is?! I sure do. Probably more often than I'd like to admit. I generally feel like there are 9842345533 things that I'm supposed to do in one day. Then there's prioritizing - trying to figure out which one of those 9842345533 things I should do first, second, third, and so on. It's a little crazy that I still feel like that even though I'm out of school... I've been on vacation twice since then and I still don't think it's really sunk in that I'm not in school. I've been so busy! Maybe I just need a couple days to rest, read, cook, drink coffee, go for a hike... just do something I love rather than something just to feel good about accomplishing an item on a list. That's one of the many downfalls to my natural way of thinking - it's hard for me not to find my worth in how much I do. Another downfall, I tend to freak out when my life isn't structured and I don't know what the future looks like. So it appears there are many "downfalls" and probably stupid lies/fears that I need to knock out of my system.

God is not a God of chaos or confusion but of PEACE. Even when life is weird, I will rest in His peace.

This Weekend...

So I know that I won't be blogging this weekend because I'm going on a trip and I'm not even planning on taking my computer. :)

I've deemed May my traveling month: the first weekend of May I flew to the east coast to visit two friends, Heather and Emily (picutred on the right side over there), and go to the Baltimore Acquire the Fire event. Such a great time! Last week I drove over to Portland to visit family and friends for 5 days. Early tomorrow morning I'm headed to Pocatello, ID to meet my friend, Brianna, and then we are both going to drive down to Las Vegas, NV for a quick weekend away. I really do love traveling... but I think for the sake of my bank account I'll just stay home for the month of June. :)

I'm pretty sure I'm all set for tomorrow... made a couple awesome mix CDs for the long drive, lemon drops/twizzlers/pretzel m&m's/fruit for snacks, got my sunglasses fixed (I will be seeing a LOT of the sun this weekend! At least the 1 day that I'm in Vegas, I will. haha), packed my bathing suit to sit by the pool, got a charger for my camera... and I get to see my Aunt Karen, Uncle Steve, cousin Sarah and her two sweet girls - Talynne and Addison. I'm so excited!

I'll only be driving by myself early tomorrow morning and late Monday night... but if you think about it, just pray for safety, wisdom in making decisions, and alertness as we drive. I'll report back on Tuesday after I've recovered! Have a GREAT weekend!

Dare to Dream

Dream... and don't let fear of failure or insignificance stop you. Dream so big that people give you funny looks and think you might be a little crazy. Sometimes, you have to dream big enough that even YOU think you're crazy.

Who do you want to be and why do you want to be that? What do you want to do with your talents, skills, passions? How are you going to make a difference? What do you need to do to get there?

Doing nothing will never accomplish anything... so be proactive in getting there!

Why settle for the mundane routine of blah blah blah?
LIVE.

...and whatever you do... just keep on dreamin'...

D.E.C.I.D.E.

Sometimes you just have to decide. I have written many posts over the last year and a half of blogging on making decisions. Mostly, because it's a part of life and I just write about LIFE. Making decisions are possibly one of the parts of life I dread the most... but they are inevitable, nontheless. Decisions range in everything from what to wear, what to drive, how to spend money, how to use my time, how to save money, what to study, how much to study, where to live, who to pursue relationship with, what to read, what to say......... I could go on. Everyday we make decisions. There are times when a decision may take months to make and then finally requires a response and then I brace myself for the repurcussions of what I decided. My personality is not one that typically makes decisions easily. I like to know what other people think and what will the aftermath be, weigh the cost/rewards. [My interns from Teen Mania know all about this - I am ALL about making pros/cons lists.] 

I need to learn to not be so preoccupied with the thoughts of others and become more focused on listening to the whisper of the Holy Spirit and obey on the first time. That's what I tell Gannon! "You need to obey on the first time, not the fifth time." He's still working on it, but so am I. I'd like to think that I don't have an issue with obedience, I just have trouble knowing WHAT is the right thing. Well, I'd probably be more apt to understanding WHAT it is God wants me to do if I were less self-focused from the beginning. It's not all about me! I need to seek FIRST His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto [me].

What does that look like?
- Open and consistent prayer. Psalm 62:8 "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Pouring out my heart may be messy and uncomfortable... but I can trust Him at all times. This is seeking FIRST His kingdom - not waiting for me to somehow get my life in order before I include my Maker.
- Meditation. Don't just pour out my heart and then leave. If I'm chatting with a friend and need some advice I wouldn't share the situation and then leave without receiving input. I would pour my heart out and then wait to receive support, help, encouragement, etc. Part of seeking first His kingdom in this process of decision making is soaking in His presence and allowing Him to speak to my heart.

Life is FULL of decisions and there is absolutely no formula to make the right one. Graciously, we have a God who is completely unchanging and His word is TRUTH. I need to learn to seek first His Kingdom in all decisions rather than taking it all into my own hands to sort out.

In Need of Peace

... It's been over an hour since I typed that title... and God has already provided peace. wow. I was overwhelmed with anxiety and now I'm overwhelmed with God's perfect timing and provision. It's 12:20 and I have to wake up in 5 hrs - then I'll be working from 6:30am-4:30pm! (So this will be short.)

I clearly need to change the direction this post was headed in... and I think I'll just focus on thankfulness.

- I'm going on an unexpected, quick trip to Las Vegas this weekend and I was worried about money/hotel/etc... I got on facebook (thank you social networking!) tonight after life group and RANDOMLY saw that my aunt, uncle, and cousins are all going to be there this weekend, too AND have room for us to stay in their time share at a resort! I am beyond blessed. Plus, I feel much safer going to that city knowing that my family will be there. wow.

- I have wonderful, amazing, fabulous friends. Gosh, I'm just so grateful for friends who understand me and turn me to Jesus constantly. I love that after being with them I'm reminded to seek FIRST the Kingdom of God. What a God-glorifying relationship.

- I have awesome housemates. :) I'm so completely grateful for Robbie, Jamie, Sarah and even Josiah.... I definitely feel supported and encouraged.

- I have a job! I'm working a lot of extra hours this week and that will be VERY beneficial come pay day.

- God speaks to me. I love that I prayed tonight on my way home from life group that God would SPEAK to me and He did. I pray that my eyes and ears and HEART would always be open to receive from Him and I would be obedient in my response.

Ahh... what a day.

Gannon was really confused when I got to their house this morning at 6:30. He said, "What are you doing here?" I told him that mom is leaving for work soon. Then he exclaimed, "Well, that was a short naptime! It's already morning?!" ha! Man, that kid kept me laughing all day today. This afternoon he made a fort in the living room with 4 kitchen chairs and about 10 blankets. (I think he completely stripped his bed.) He was SO excited about his creation and pleaded with me to go in it: "PLEASE, Miss. Kaween. Pleeeeease come in my tent!" I told him that I couldn't because it was too small for me. He got this cute grin on his face and said, "Pleeeease! It can be a date!" Oh my word! I was laughing so hard. I remember this adorable

I watched the kids from 6:30am-4:30pm. It was a looong day! But so wonderful. They were awesome... and I made delicious black bean tacos for lunch (for myself. Gannon wouldn't eat something like that. He decided to stick with plain old mac n cheese.) AND finished a book I was reading. awesome.

The best part of this day is that I was home by 5:00 and STAYED home. (Not only that, but I plan on being in bed in less than and hour.) I love being home in the evenings. I made a delicious dinner (which I honestly haven't done in a long time) - angel hair pasta, chicken, corn, peas and cheesy toast. It's pretty much my signature dish. :)

All in all, I am very much looking forward to this summer. Time to rest, think, study the Word, build relationships... it was so nice today to just read a book that I want to read and not have a thousand other things to worry about for classes. I need to take advantage of this time and soak it in. Be refreshed. Sometimes that's hard for me... help me to trust YOUR purposes, Lord.

Back in Beautiful Boise

Honestly, I think that Oregon is more beautiful than Boise... I just wanted to use another alliteration. :)

I was seriously blown away when I drove into the gorge on Monday by the many shades of GREEN! It was wonderful! Also - I spent as much time as possible taking the back roads to and from my grandparent's house this week. The rolling hills, vineyards, tall trees, bright blue sky... ah! breathtaking.

Well, as stated above, I've returned to Boise. I left Tigard this morning at 7:45 (after a tasty breakast, made by Lindsay Horne) and made it home by 4:00, which was just enough time to shower and head over to the Miller's to watch Channing and Gannon. What a day. What a WEEK! Unfortunately, I don't have much time to rest in the next week and a half.

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Sister - Dawn, Mom, Auntie



I remember Heather, my house leader my second year at Teen Mania, would always tell us that there was a reason why we were all in that house together. (There was 18 of us. For real.) She encouraged us to be INTENTIONAL and not waste the year... we all had something to offer each other. The same is true of family, but probably thought of less often. There is a reason why I have a sister and brothers and nephews and cousins and aunts and parents and grandparents. We all have a special place in each other's lives... for a REASON. I think it's easy to become more disconnected as I grow older and move away, but I do not want that to happen. I need to be intentional with relationships in my family, too. It may be harder... we carry around a different, more personal kind of emotional baggage... but there is purpose. Healthy relationships are so rewarding.

My brother - Kyle and me