[Always HOPE]

I saw this as I drove home from school the other day... immediately those clouds caught my attention and made me think of that "silver lining" cliche phrase. The sun was blocked, but it shone brightly around those clouds and was still beautiful. Somtimes my view is blocked. I don't understand. I don't see how things are going to work out. BUT. There is always hope. There is always the silver lining.

I just did some research on this phrase "Every cloud has a silver lining" and found it's an old proverb that means that every negative situation can produce something positive; similar to "there's a light at the end of the tunnel" (My youth pastor used to say that to me ALL the time!). It's interesting to me that both of these well-used phrases compare light with hope. I know that Jesus is the light of the world... and HE is my HOPE.

John 16:33 "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Jesus is my hope... and He has overcome the whole world!!! Victory!

How this all ties in with me - I do love my life. I love where I'm at. I am content in this season. I am so in love with Jesus. But there are troubles... mostly revolving around finances w/ school and such. I really have surprised myself with how I've been handling this confusion - walking in peace - thank you, Lord, for growth!

But take heart, Kailene! Your Savior has already overcome.

"The End of Me"

The more adult responsibilities that I have... the more I feel like a mere child.

Why does it seem like everyone else understands the details of maintaining a solid budget, paying for college, planning your future, etc, etc... but I have no idea what I'm doing?!

I know that I keep posting on my blog and facebook about how much I LOVE it here - which I do! - so I don't want this to just sound purely emotional... but sometimes life is just hard. What do you do when you're completely stumped? Hmm... "I've come to the end of me." Isn't that a song or something? I've done all that I can do. I'm making the best decisions that I know how to make. But Lord Jesus - I need your wisdom to guide me! Well, friends, I suppose this is where complete dependence would fall in. Even when I really don't know what's going on - I just don't know what to do - I know that I am not alone.

I just love people.

I was reminded today just how valuable relationships are...

the solid and healthy and trustworthy kind.

Just because life changes and we all go through different seasons; it's good to know that you still have sometime consistent. I feel so blessed to know that even though I moved away from Texas (and Oregon), there are still people who care about me. Isn't that a wonderful feeling? Just to know that you are not alone. We were created to live in community; to support and help and love and encourage one another.

I feel like I'm really not formulating any coherent thought or concept here... that's always frustrating... but I really just want to say that I love people and I am so grateful for the genuinity that I see in the friendships that I have. They are few and far between... I know that I'm blessed.

Let the games (I mean studies!) begin!!!

Well folks, today was my first day as a student at Boise State University!!!

I'm now a Bronco.

And it's true... the football field is BLUE. I had no idea, but everytime I told someone that I was transferring to Boise State they said something about the blue turf. It's very exciting. But I actually haven't seen it in person yet. :)

(Sorry - the placement of those pictures is ridiculous... but I can't figure out how to place them where I want.)

I had a wonderful time visiting friends and family in Portland the past few days... I found this great bag at the Saturday Market downtown with Taylor, I hung out at my sister's house with ALL of my family - SO FUN!, I met with w/ Benita for coffee and heard all about her trip to India, I played on the new wii with my mom and brother, saw my older brother - I haven't seen him in over 3 years!, I went to church with Tim and Jill Whitehead - it was extremely refreshing to sit and chat and eat german pancakes with her... I just LOVE that woman! Basically... it was a FULL trip and definitely wore me out.

I'm so excited to get settled back into a schedule again that I forgot to be nervous about my first day of school. :) Either that or today is just an example of how the Lord has changed my life and I've learned to trust Him. While I was on campus I saw a flier for Intervarsity - it's a Christian club similar to campus crusade or anything else like that... they meet on Friday nights and I am very much looking forward to checking it out this week!

Tomorrow will be a big day... I'll be at school from 10:30-4:30. I'm even going to pack a lunch. :)

As of a couple of hours ago I am officially unpacked, organized and settled into my new room. In case there was any doubt, I still really REALLY love it here. The weather is absolutely beautiful. Jamie is such a good friend and Robbie helps me with important things like cars, money, boys... it's great. ;-) I love that my life is peaceful. I'm definitely looking forward to filling up my schedule... but I love this time of rest. I have time to think and write and read and pray. I'm incredibly grateful.

A little starbucks break.

Well... my mom and I just went to her storage unit and sorted through all of the boxes that I packed up a few years ago. It was like CHRISTMAS! I found my winter jacket, a sleeping bag, all kinds of picture frames, a bookshelf that I painted with my Aunt, and lots of other random things that I'm sure will help fill my new room and make it feel more ME.

I posted pictures on facebook of my trip from Texas to Idaho. You can check them out here: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/album.php?aid=2045158&id=1455660166

So I've been hearing and talking about this concept of "processing change" for the past few weeks. Mostly because I'm in the midst of experiencing a massive amount of change. In just about EVERY area of my life. Actually, I really can't think of anything that didn't change. But what does that mean? What does it look like to process through all of this change? What should my end result be? I'm sure it will just take time. Probably a lot of time. But when I think about it too much.... I just feel overwhelmed. And I've only just begun. Really, I feel like I've just been on vacation after vacation since I left Texas. That alone can sometimes be exhausting... visiting a lot of people, random sleeping/eating habits, no routine (I LOVE routine...), a million and a half hours of driving, which means almost as much time spent singing to myself in the car and searching for a decent radio station (that's tiring in itself ;-)).... needless to say, it's been a CRAZY couple of weeks. So maybe this whole "processing" thing will get easier and come more naturally when I can actually breath in the next few weeks....

I guess I shouldn't rush these things.... an allusion to my last blog post. ;-)

Thanks for reading, you faithful readers. I sure do love writing. Enjoy!

Officially an Idahoan... almost :)

Well... it's official now... I have my Idaho license plates! I'm now an Idahoan. No... they're not actually on my car yet... but hey - you have to take these things one step at a time. Let's not go overboard. ;-)

One step at a time. How often do we rush things in our culture/society/stage of life? Fast paced everything... cars, cell phones, computers... everything. We want it all and we want it NOW. How little we know about life. And how little we trust the perfect timing of our Creator when we try to manipulate relationships or time and come up with our own way that seems better and faster.

I am fully confident that "my way" will end me nowhere... and fast. All I am responsible to do is walk in obedience to the Lord everyday in every decision and then I don't need to worry about anything. (Sounds simple, right? It's not. To obey even when you don't know the outcome; to walk in faith even when it's not what you want... it's all about trust.) When I take my life into my own hands, that's when I start to worry - "how am I going to pay for this?" - that's where most of my worries tend to fall. Oh Lord, help me to trust in You - with where I live, who and when I marry, how I pay for... everything, and whatever else may try to sneak up on me. I want to be a carefree woman - not because I don't care, but because my cares have all been cast on you... and all that remains in me is pure joy.

(and all of that came out of a post of my new ID license plates... oh I love how the Lord speaks to my heart!)

Overwhelmed much?

[I think all this change is really catching up to me...]

Jamie York (my friend that I just moved in with) gave wise advice when she reminded me to take advantage of this time to relax. It's okay to rest! I took two naps on Friday and watched two movies today. I never do either of those things - at least not TWO in one day - but it really has been nice to just take a few days to let it all soak in.

Just pray that I will actually be able to process through the many thoughts sitting in my head right now...

I feel like I have a million things to blog... but most of those things probably just belong in the safety of my journal. :) Besides... I think I have some kind of writer's block and I don't actually know what to blog about today.

On a more positive note... Robbie and Jamie have a CUTE 1 year old son, Josiah, and I think we're going to be GREAT friends...

My goal for tomorrow is to figure out how I'm paying for classes & fees at BSU -- that will surely be fun and exciting. :-/