Friday Night.

I love weddings!!!!

Tonight I got to see two of my friends, Travis & Christina, get married (at one of my favorite coffee shops - so cool!). Fortunately, I had most of the day off work AND school, so I got to enjoy coffee and great conversation with Sandy this morning, then I ordered my bridesmaid dress for Nicole's wedding ("Wedding" must be the theme of the day!), then I came home and started getting ready. I put my hair in curlers and watched Pride and Prejudice... and took a much needed nap. :) I just love getting dressed up!



Tresbien -- this made me think of you! I got so many sweet compliments on my hair/dress tonight! So fun!



All in all, a good day. I remember thinking yesterday that I'm tired of having so many NOT good days in a row. I'm grateful for a little rest and a fun wedding to get my mind off of school for a while. Sometimes you just need to take a breather.

I decided that tomorrow's going to be a good day, too. :)

Ah, The Testing of Your Faith...

...develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:3-4

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stance. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character; hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us." Romans 5:1-5

Wow. I love that I just opened up my blog and these two verses came right to mind. :)

I know that my sentiments on rejoicing yesterday are still true today, but they definitely seem harder to follow. I woke up exhausted with a sore throat. Bleh. I got a parking ticket last night. Lame. My British Lit exam tomorrow is TWENTY PERCENT of my grade, the study guide is ridiculously long and complicated, and I'm skipping my first morning class to study. Oh my, Lord. I did the wrong reading assignment this weekend for my comm class tonight, so I need to get caught up today. Meh.

Yet, in all this, I am confident that "in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

And that's all I've got for ya today. Here's to a productive, perseverance-filled day! :)

Rejoice!

"This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it!" Psalm 118:24

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4

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What a lovely morning this has been!

I am starting to truly cherish my early morning quiet times with the Lord. In order to make this happen, I've been waking up an hour earlier than I did last year. 4:30am comes awfully early, but I'm tired by 9:30 or 10:00 at night anyways, so it works out just fine. :) [Tresbien, I took your wise words to heart in your comment on my last post....] Starting the morning being REAL with God. It's not about just reading words or going through a ritual. It's about QUALITY time... being refreshed and renewed by the Holy Spirit. This morning I wrote this prayer in my journal:

"Jesus you are all I want and all I need. Make me so aware of Your love today - through nature, provision, unexplainable peace & joy, community with other believers - whatever it is, Lord, I need my affirmation and affection to come from YOU. I need to recognize You as my Source. Seeking that out in other people around me has proved futile."

I realized, as I found an awesome parking spot today at school (which is rare, let me tell you!), how God has been answering this prayer ever since I prayed it! The kids were great this morning, my attitude was great, I feel so rested and ready for this day, I'm prepared for all my classes and don't feel stressed out or worried, I treated myself to a coffee at Dutch Bros. on my way to school, I got that great parking spot... It's only 10:00 in the morning and I am overwhelmed by the love of God in all of these little things. My demeanor and my perspective toward this day are different when I acknowledge where my help comes from... it's sure not from my own strength! Jesus, thank you for romancing my heart!

Some Thoughts [People-Pleasing]

I haven't blogged in a while, yet again. Partly due to the craziness that is called SCHOOL and partly because I have had a million different thoughts in my head and haven't been able to sit down and sort through them long enough to post something coherent.

How do I stop caring what people think?
How do I stop placing so much weight in the opinions/feelings of other people?
(fyi - those don't have to be rhetorical questions. I'd love some feedback.)

I thought of those questions just a few minutes ago as I drove home from hanging out with a big group of friends at uswirl (frozen yogurt) after church. I have, unfortunately, recognized lately how much weight I put in what other people think of me. I highly value the opinion of other people. I just want to be acknowledged and affirmed, which to an extent is a part of how God made me to receive love. The problem is that I'm looking for that mostly in the people around me and NOT in the Lord. I can tell myself the truth, but then time after time I find myself vying for the approval of someone else.

Now I'm at the point where I've had enough. I KNOW truth, so I will not allow myself to live in lies. I will not allow the enemy to steal my joy and my confidence!

If someone else were to come to me with this same issue, what would I tell him/her? The Word - immerse yourself in scripture and be filled up with truth. Take your thoughts captive - don't dwell on what you know is not true. (Phil 4:8 "Whatever is true [...] think about such things.") Get some accountability - ask someone to help you and speak truth to you when you're struggling. These are all good things, but is there something I'm missing?!

Well, this is clearly one of the posts that I'm writing in the midst of the struggle rather than with the insight gained from working through the struggle. :) It probably doesn't help that I am a highly analytical person and very self-aware... so if something is a little "off," I try to pick it apart to get at the root of the issue. Mostly, this issue is a matter of where I place my trust - in the people around me or in God. I'm just trying to figure out what it looks like for me to be fully surrendered to the Lord and not base my value/life/emotions, off of what I think other people think.


Romans 12:2
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." 

Romans 8:5-6
"Those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. [...] the mind controlled by Spirit is LIFE and PEACE."

Isaiah 26:3-4
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal."

The Joy of Weekends -

Gosh, I am SO thankful for this weekend! As stated in my previous two posts, last week was pretty rough, but this weekend was full of just the kind of refreshment I needed. I hope every weekend this semester is as fun, relaxing and productive. Granted, I had an extra 24 hrs due to Labor Day, but that was probably necessary, considering the circumstances. Not every week will be as strenuous as the last one. (Please, Lord!)

I am reminded that "though the sorrow may last for the night, His joy comes with the morning" (Psalm 30:5). Also - "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. [...] For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far out weighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 17-18).

This weekend, apparently, reminds me of HOPE.

Bad days don't last forever. When I'm sad, joy is coming. When I'm confused and frazzled, peace is mine. When people don't treat me the way they should, I am STILL not alone. I am so incredibly grateful that I can live my life this way. The outcome of tomorrow is not contingent on today. His mercies are new EVERY morning, and as a child of God, I am so blessed to be able to relish in His goodness.

Learning to be INTENTIONAL

I am definitely the kind of person who needs to set aside time for "rest" and "fun." Especially in seasons like the one I'm currently in where practically every minute of every day is full of work/school/studying. It doesn't leave much room to take care of myself, which is something that usually lacks when I get busy, as silly as that sounds. I've learned how vital it is to be intentional with my time to (1) make sure everything gets accomplished that needs to and (2) make sure I don't go crazy. It's okay to put off homework for a day (i.e., Thursday nights because I don't have class on Friday) so I can enjoy a night to just read or hike or watch a movie. I don't have to be at either of the first two services at church, and the past two weeks I have been so blessed by getting a little extra rest and enjoying some peaceful and refreshing time with Jesus. Yesterday morning I met with some ladies from life group at a coffeeshop downtown, as I do every Saturday, then I made some progress on reading for my Lit class, then I had a "Girls' Night" with Lindsay and Liz - I have so much FUN with them!!!

All of that to say this: Yes, I'm awfully busy, but I will not allow that to change my priorities. I will wake up extra early to spend time with the Lord before I start my day (I know that that's what got me through last week!). I will set aside time to do FUN things with friends to ENJOY life. I will make exercising a priority to keep myself physically fit. I will take the few extra minutes to cook a healthy dinner rather than just eating out or heating something up in the microwave all the time.

I really work well when I have something to look forward to... so it definitely helps with homework productivity when I know that I'm going to meet up with a group of friends afterwards! Fun is so much sweeter when I feel like I've earned it. :-)

Lindsay, Liz + Me @ our GIRLS' Night!

Proverbs 4 tells us to guard our hearts because they are the wellspring [a source or supply of anything, especially when considered inexhaustible - dictionary.com] of life. Guarding our time has got to be close in importance to guarding our hearts. If we don't guard our time and make intentional decisions about how and where we will spend it, then we lose focus, drive, and effectiveness.

My "I-don't-know-what-to-write-it's-been-a-long-week" Post........

Well... it's been a long time since I last blogged! A whole week and a half. That's just not acceptable, I know. But sometimes you gotta to do what you gotta do... and the last week and a half has been FULL of school, nannying, going to bed on time (for the most part), a lot a lot a LOT of reading for classes, walking a thousand miles from my car to the other side of campus for class, processing emotions, confusing relationships, figuring out health insurance, and a girl's night w/ Liz and others. Whew. You'd be tired, too.

This week has been... slightly overwhelming. Well, I won't lie, it was pretty rough and I was probably more than "slightly" overwhelmed. I'm hoping that the stress levels of this week are only indicative of my transition period back to being a student and waking up at 5:00am. It should get better over the next couple weeks as I know more of what my expectations are in each class and the amount of work I need to get done on the weekends to not be a crazy-frazzled-mess during the week... and what time I MUST go to sleep each night and maybe I'll even cook lunches/dinners the night before so I actually EAT a good meal before late afternoon.

Please pray for a restful and productive weekend so I can jump into next week ready to tackle whatever comes my way!