Do More! Do More!

This very basic life lesson has become a prominent thought in the past few days: 

You can only check one thing off on your to-do list at a time.

It probably sounds obvious and shallow to all of you wise people who are so much more experienced at life than I. And I'm sure this comes as no surprise to those who know me well, but I get a real sense of joy from checking that little box next to the task I just accomplished on my ever-growing list of things to do. It's the adrenaline kick every task-oriented perfectionist craves!  

http://sad-eyed.tumblr.com/post/7949180532

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. 

For when I am weak, then I am strong."

- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I've found myself in the middle of another transition. There will be even more major transition & change coming up in about a month, and then again in three months - each one progressing in intensity. (It's like God is intentionally preparing me for what's ahead!) 

I'm moving from working as part-time field staff with Cru at Boise State to raising support full-time, then to the mission field full-time in Moscow, Russia. I have a notebook full of various lists, budgets, goals, schedules, notes, etc. Somewhere I got it into my head that I would accomplish everything I need to prepare for Russia all in one week. While that's rather ambitious of me, it's also pretty ridiculous. 

It's not all going to get done this week. I may not schedule as many appointments as I should be. My bags are not packed, nor do I have everything that needs to go in my bags yet. People will not respond to emails or phone calls two minutes after I leave a message for them. There is definitely a lot of work to do and plenty of things to keep me busy, but a big part of this "job" right now is 1) waiting on other people, and 2) waiting on the Lord. 

"Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart & lean not on your own understanding." 

- Proverbs 3:5

Everything always comes back to trust...

Why do I worry? I lack trust.

When am I most fearful? When I lack trust.

Why do I so often desire control? Because I lack trust.

Trust is a decision. It's not about "doing more" or filling up my schedule to make myself look busy or reporting high numbers in everything -- it's about trusting that God is directing my steps and will be faithful to provide what I need. 

Reality is, I can only do one thing on my to-do list at a time. There will be some (or many) days when I don't feel like I checked "enough" things off of my list. There will be days when I spend hours making phone calls and sending emails and don't hear back from anyone for two days. That is not for lack of trying; it's just out of my control! And I need to be okay with that. Because when I trust God fully, I have nothing to fear. There is no reason to worry. 

I want to quit the mindset of "Do more!" and adopt a grace-filled perspective that will push me to do the right things. 

Rest + Big News

I miss blogging! It's been far too long. I have an idea for a really awesome, biblical post, but it will have to come later this week because it's a bit intellectual and structured, and I'm just not feeling either of those things today. At all.

Today is my intentional day of REST. It is Sunday, so I guess that makes sense... a lot of people make this day one of rest. But I tend to be really bad at that. Typically, my "day of rest" includes checking off items on my to-do list and jumping ahead to the pile of work for the week. Outside of laundry (because it's necessary!), I am doing NO work, NO getting ahead in the work week, or even getting caught up on things that realistically need to get done... they can all wait until tomorrow. Gosh, that is such a peaceful feeling! 

I knew I needed this day of strict rest when I woke up at 10:30 this morning after sleeping for 11 hours. I think of my mom when I sleep extra long because she always responds with, "Well, you must have needed it!" Yes, I definitely did, Mom! She's really good at telling me it's okay to rest. :)

There really is no point to the last couple paragraphs except to report that I am indeed taking a day of rest for once (this is one of my goals for the summer: balance) and it's pretty amazing, so you should do it, too. :) 

But the next bit is a little more exciting: Hey, I'm moving to Russia for a year! 
I've postponed publicly posting the news because I wanted to wait for it to be "official" - but now it is! And I've definitely been on an adrenaline kick since I found out... which is probably another reason why I need to rest today... too much energy. ;-) 

Moscow, Russia STINT Team

I will be in Boise until June 10th, with a trip over Memorial day weekend to move furniture and boxes to my grandparents' house in Oregon. After June 10th, I'll spend the rest of the summer living with my Mom & Grandparents until I leave for Moscow, Russia mid-August. Outside of a trip to Colorado for Team Leader training, STINT (short-term international -- missions program with Cru) briefing with my team in Chicago right before we leave, potentially a trip to visit friends, and nannying for the next 5 weeks, I will be working hard full-time to develop a team of ministry partners to give financially and prayerfully while I am in Moscow over the next year. 

This past week I connected with those who were on my team this last year and it has been SUCH an encouragement to share about the many ways that God has moved on the Boise State campus, as well as my vision for going to Moscow. I just love that, as Christians, we get to serve God together in so many different capacities! I am so very thankful for the people that God has allowed me to connect with as a result of doing ministry & life together!

This past year I've been on staff part-time with Cru at Boise State; I'm so excited that I get to go overseas to do there what I've already been doing here! There is so much to say - and still yet to process - of how I see that God is calling me to go, the timing of being in Russia, the patience & trust I learned in waiting to find out where I will be going, and what God is doing in my heart now as I prepare to go. "Excitement" really is an understatement!

Now that I've spilled the beans, I'll feel more freedom to post/write about the process -- I'm excited to share it with you all! Let me know if you have any questions or want more information. Otherwise, please consider praying for me as I move toward this major transition with all of the work and preparation that lies ahead in the next few months. 

Romans 10:11-17 (MSG)

"Scripture reassures us, “No one who trusts God like this—heart and soul—will ever regret it.” It’s exactly the same no matter what a person’s religious background may be: the same God for all of us, acting the same incredibly generous way to everyone who calls out for help. “Everyone who calls, ‘Help, God!’ gets help.”

But how can people call for help if they don’t know who to trust? And how can they know who to trust if they haven’t heard of the One who can be trusted? And how can they hear if nobody tells them? And how is anyone going to tell them, unless someone is sent to do it? That’s why Scripture exclaims,

A sight to take your breath away!

Grand processions of people

    telling all the good things of God!

But not everybody is ready for this, ready to see and hear and act. Isaiah asked what we all ask at one time or another: 

“Does anyone care, God? Is anyone listening and believing a word of it?” 

The point is: Before you trust, you have to listen. 

But unless Christ’s Word is preached, 

there’s nothing to listen to."