Over the last four weeks I have heard the following two questions countless times:
1. So, what's next? What are your plans?
2. How does it feel to be done with school?
I've tried to get creative with my responses and offer some easy, light-hearted remarks, mostly as an effort to quickly change the subject, lest tears of confusion and frustration (not toward the other person) fill my eyes. My answers typically sound something like this:
1. Well... I'm going to do the same things I was doing... just minus classes and homework. So, uh, you know... we'll see what happens.
2. It feels like Christmas break. I've had almost twenty of those in my life. Woot Woot.
Really, I am NOT trying to be sarcastic or pessimistic or angry. This is just reality for the time being. Don't get me wrong; YES, graduating from college is pretty much the most exciting thing ever in my life and I am so thankful to finally be done with something that I worked incredibly hard to achieve! While I know and believe that to be true, I also think it's going to take quite a while to turn over this new leaf. It's kind of heavy and awkward. And what is even on the other side, anyways? What does it look like? What am I getting myself into?
This is taken completely out of context, but while reading Kelle Hampton's blog, Enjoying the Small Things, this statement jumped out at me: "Unknown is not a scary word in itself though because, who knows, maybe what isn’t known are amazing things, good things, things we couldn’t have even imagined." She's so right. There is a whole stinkin' lot of UNKNOWN in my life right now, and sometimes it feels like a big black hole, and sometimes I want to run away from it. But the TRUTH is, just because I don't know what is coming, doesn't mean I need to fear it. Unknown is not always bad. Some of it will be hard, for sure. But some of it will be more incredible than I could dream up or even wish for right now.
God knows what is in store for the next few months and years. He knows that I have no idea what to do next, but is close enough to guide each baby step that I courageously choose to take. He is in control. He is sovereign. I'm learning more and more what it means to walk closely with Jesus and trust Him completely. Praise God!
Here we are on the big day! (Mom & Me)
In the words of my big sister: "Your hair held it's curls so well..." - That was one the most important parts of the day. Leave it to sisters to notice that detail!
Also, I did not trip and fall on my face for the whole 2.5 seconds that the camera was in my face, which was a slight fear. But I was also definitely in the VERY last row of 800+ graduates. The build up of anticipation was intense... and it gave me time to sit, clap a lot, and get hungry. And now it's all over.... still so very surreal. Woo hoo! Graduation!
