It's been almost two months since I last posted something... I think that has got to be the longest stretch of time I've gone without writing! I'm not really sure why I stopped, besides that I was getting tired of not knowing WHAT to write. More realistically, I probably could think of too MANY things to write about and couldn't decide. I randomly thought about writing a couple days ago and resolved to start again. I don't want to give up! I know that God works IN me when I write. Hopefully the long break has made my heart fonder toward writing. Maybe I have some renewed inspiration in there somewhere.
Again, my mind is flooding with so many different things I could write about: what I'm learning, the crazy-ever-changing circumstances of life, growing relationships, understanding (and often MISunderstanding) grace, how I was so very wrong when I thought I could live off of 4 hours of sleep (and have paid for it for the past 5 days!)... I suppose this is a good place to start --
It's pretty easy to slip into the mentality of living some kind of "normal" life, right? Go to class, get good grades, find a job that will pay enough money to get a nice apartment and buy healthy food. We're "supposed" to make the kind of decisions that "just make sense." What if living radically was the norm? What if everyone lived a radical life that it wasn't so weird to see people going to the nations or speaking up about their faith or choosing to set their standards higher than the world deems necessary?
After hearing Nathan speak at Fuel - Campus Crusade - last night I got EXCITED. I'm excited about what God is doing around the world, on our campus and in my own life. I was reminded that I don't WANT a safe, normal, comfortable life. I severely limit the ways God can use me if I plant myself in my comfort zone. Selfishly, it's so hard to forgo comfort! My desire to serve God and see His name made known runs much, much deeper than my desire to be financially secure and have a lot of friends... I just need to examine my thoughts & actions to be sure that they line up with this desire.
Yesterday I met with a sweet girl from school and we walked through a simple study to learn more about the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives. When I left I felt so encouraged because it served as a reminder that this is what I was made to do. I've become so consumed with other areas of my life that ministry has become a task and not a way of life. I need to adjust OTHER areas of my life so that ministry can just happen naturally and not forcefully. I get energized by doing what God has called me to do! That meeting + the topic at Fuel yesterday made me realize how I need to make a massive change in the way I think. I'm pretty sure I had slowly begun to close my hands around certain areas of my life, which has caused me to live in fear. After realizing this, I know that I need to move toward SURRENDER in this areas and pursue the dreams that God has given me! There is purpose in them, and they are not that far off.
What do you need to surrender in order to follow God more freely?
